The anonymous banker behind Wall Street gossip blog Goldman Sachs Elevator has released a series of tips for how aspiring financiers can get ahead once they've landed that coveted Goldman internship. Or, more specifically, how aspiring male financiers comfortable with casual racism and sexism ... can get ahead.
The advice starts off innocuous enough (though dripping with macho bravado and condescension):
Buy a decent suit or 3, but no cuffed or pleated pants. And don’t wear a tie unless you might have a meeting. No one likes that kind of kiss-ass.
Don’t be too good to do the coffee runs. It shows confidence. Just don’t fuck it up. If you can’t be trusted with coffee, how can you sell bonds or manage risk.
This might be the most important one. It’s okay to make a mistake or ask a question. But don’t ever ask the same question or make the same mistake twice. If you do, just know that the world needs ditchdiggers too.
But quickly takes a turn for the outrageous and offensive kind of "wisdom" one has, sadly, come to expect from the Wall Street boys club:
Bang a (female) intern, and tell the Associates and above about it. If they haven’t ever done it, they sure as hell always wanted to. They’ll respect you for it. And you’ll always be the guy that banged her first, before she ends up marrying that dickhead PMD in Emerging Markets.
Never tell racist jokes. Always repeat racist jokes in the proper company and be sure to credit ‘the other intern’ who told you.
Ask the secretary for the travel schedules of the senior members of your group for the week ahead. She’s dumb enough to think you are being proactive. But now you know when you can sleep in, hit the gym, or beat the traffic to Southampton.
While it's possible these tips are tongue-in-cheek (though, given the rest of the blog's content, that seems unlikely), this kind of mentality is far from unique among other Wall Street giants, as Salon has previously reported.
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