I marry you!!!!!

Patrick Reynolds, tobacco heir, welcomes you to his "private page for finding a life mate." Will he become this year's Mahir?

Published July 19, 2000 9:58PM (EDT)

It takes a special kind of person to emerge unscathed from the tornado of sudden fame (a person who is very distracted, perhaps, or has been hit in the head with flying debris) because fame -- even the kind that comes as a surprise -- changes people.

Take Mahir. A humble Turkish accordion player is discovered trying to promote world peace by offering his home to international ladies. Eight months and millions of hits later, his priorities have shifted. "I can accept advertisement from WORLD. You can give BANNER."

Sure, he has an original dance single now available on CD (send 4 pounds, about $6, to Wild Water Associates, 12 Park Rd., Godalming Surrey, U.K. GU7 1SH) and a new Web site featuring "my mershandise, my music CD -TV clip soon, my life book, soon, my movie, soon, my white TV series" and "Mahir's donation-fondation," but has Mahir found his better half, his soul mate, his "love and share"? It seems love continues to elude the Turkish stud, despite soaring traffic and star billing at this year's Webby Awards.

That's why I'm worried about Patrick. Patrick Reynolds, nonsmoking grandson of R.J. Reynolds, is also searching for his "True North" online. A successful entrepreneur in the field of smoking cessation and, presumably, heir to at least part of R.J.'s tobacco fortune, Patrick has created a Web site dedicated to finding "a caring partner for marriage, children and quiet family life."

Like his Turkish counterpart, Patrick regales visitors with photos of himself and his fun-loving friends enjoying various leisure activities. And though Patrick does not shower potential mates with effusions of exclamation points (for Patrick, one well-placed punctuation mark suffices: "Welcome to my private page for finding a life mate!"), he is no cold fish. On the contrary, Patrick just may be Hotchkiss' answer to Barry White.

"Keeping our love strong and romantic is important to me. I'd like to surprise my lady with candlelit dinners, accompanied by a good wine and soft music. I love being intimate and communicating. I'll relish the moments with a sparkle in our eyes and loving words."

Patrick is not seeking to "invitate who is want to come to Turkey" so that she can "sleep in [his] home." Instead, Patrick is seeking an average, athletic, slender, nonsmoking, Christian or Catholic, warmhearted, good-natured, kind-in-spirit Caucasian, 27 to 34, 5-foot-5 or taller, who has been to college and doesn't yet have, but definitely wants, children.

There are other differences between Patrick and Mahir: For example, Patrick is sometimes invited by NBC and CNN to talk about not smoking -- something that is rarely asked of our Turkish friend. Patrick does not play the accordion. In the summer months, Patrick eschews red Speedos in favor of a T-shirt that reads "Inauguration of President, Vice President, Bush, Quayle."

Still, on a slow news day, Patrick Reynolds could just possibly become this year's Mahir.

I just hope he knows what he's doing.

Patrick and Mahir speak out on love, work, relationships and the imaginary woman of their feverish dreams.

ON WORK:

Patrick : "I'm well known in my field. Sometimes I get called on for interviews, when my area of expertise is in demand."

Mahir: "My profession jurnalist , music and sport teacher , I make psycolojy doctora I like to take foto-camera (amimals, towns, nice nude models and peoples)....."

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ON FUN:

Patrick : "Two summers ago, we all rented a villa, just a few minutes' drive from the beaches and the port. We agreed that St. Tropez is more relaxing and more casual than Cannes or Monte Carlo."

Mahir: "I like travel I go 3-4 country every year I went, Germany, Nederland, Belgium, Austria, Denmark, Sweden , Hungary Moldovia , Ukraina , Bulgaria , Romania , Macedonia, Azerbaijan, Georrgia, Iran ....."

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ON RELATIONSHIPS:

Patrick : "I'm seeking a caring partner for marriage, children and quiet family life."

Mahir: "I like sex."

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ON STATUS:

Patrick : "I'm a successful entrepreneur, and also run a non-profit foundation. I'm from an old US family, and have become well known and successful in my own right."

Mahir: "I have home and 3 room - I have 3 bed - I invitate she I'm not rich, not poor I'm normal - I have car - She can come my car."

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ON LONELINESS:

Patrick : "I've been single for some time now, so I have no baggage to bring into a new relationship. I'm open and ready to fall in love. I know you're out there!"

Mahir: "I never been maried before maybe I can mary next years - This time I havent girl friend - If she want I'm ready."


By Carina Chocano

Carina Chocano writes about TV for Salon. She is the author of "Do You Love Me or Am I Just Paranoid?" (Villard).

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