2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
If you had July 2 in the pool, you win. ESPN’s Chris Mortensen is reporting that Brett Favre has an “itch” to come out of “retirement” and play in 2008.
Citing sources close to the Green Bay Packers and Favre, Mortensen reports that Favre’s family is “tugging on him to play” and that Favre has communicated with coach Mike McCarthy about possibly returning, but there haven’t been any substantive talks.
Favre still has two years remaining on his contract, so from that standpoint bringing him back would involve little more than returning him to the active list. But the Packers have spent the offseason getting ready for Favre’s former apprentice, Aaron Rodgers, to take over at quarterback. Switching gears within weeks of the opening of camp might be a major disruption.
Might be a worthwhile disruption, might be just a disruption.
Mortensen reported that his sources speculate that Favre might ask for his release rather than go into camp as Rodgers’ backup. Got that? I’m saying that Mortensen is saying that unnamed sources are speculating about something Favre might do. So take it for what it’s worth, which ain’t much.
No, no, no. Really retired. Just some idle words to the local paper about how, sure, he might feel the old urge when the days start getting shorter ha ha ha.
This time he made it 85 days. So he’s getting better. I think that means he’s really going to stay retired. I bet this next time he gets to 150 days, which will be early November, and then he’ll tell someone with a tape recorder that gosh, with all these quarterbacks going down, he’s starting to think maybe he can help a team if they called.
He probably won’t come back then either, but he’ll never really stop. Fifty years from now, when Reggie Bush’s grandchildren are denying that they even know the agent whose house they’ve been living in since last year, just before they signed their letters of intent to go to USC, Brett Favre will be on ESPN-HD-ESP, working out, throwing, saying he thinks maybe, just maybe, he can help a struggling team like the Beijing Raiders turn things around.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.