The sexiest man living!

Forget that other list. We pick the men who really set our hearts aflame -- and there's nary a pretty-boy actor among them.

By Salon staff

Read more: Sex, Bruce Springsteen, Salon Arts & Entertainment, Arts & Entertainment, Matthew McConaughey, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jon Stewart, Arts & Entertainment Features, Stephen Colbert

Nov. 17, 2006 | That big bland celebrity flip book's annual celebration of the Sexiest Man Alive isn't valuable because of its dazzling spreads of razor-sharp abs. It offers tangible proof that women (and gay men, and anyone else who casts a vote in that process) can be just as drably one-dimensional as any straight man who ogles Pam Anderson. In its 20-plus years documenting hot, they've been about as imaginative as a Whitman's Sampler, about as adventuresome as a 10-minute roll with the lights off, about as mentally stimulating as Matthew McConaughey.

Sure, McConaughey, the 2005 winner, is easy on the eyes, and his cleavage is every bit as remarkable as Anderson's. But he's the latest in a long line of vanilla eye-candy actors (Ben Affleck, Mark Harmon, Patrick Swayze, Harry Hamlin -- seriously, in 1987, Harry Hamlin) whose shiny good looks fuel a fantasy thought or two before we wonder how much product they put in their hair. (And really, quit selecting George Clooney already. He's the zenith of sex appeal -- picking him is cheating. Get some guts over there, girls, or else turn the poll over to the interns.)

Tired of that array of pretty boys, we came up with a list of guys who really rattle our chains. Warning: There are no abs ahead. But sometimes a good lyric, a good laugh, a well-articulated theory on the existence of man ... yowza, let's just say not all turn-ons start with a spray-on tan.

And so, without further ado, the winner of our First Annual Sexiest Man Living Award is ...

Next page: Not just some "plain, vanilla man"!