May we congratulate you on your divorce

Not all Vegas divorce parties are so vengeance-oriented. Andrea Eppolito, director of special events and catering for Sushi Roku and Boa, two hipster restaurants at Caesars Palace, says requests for divorce parties started coming in sporadically about six years ago. In the last 12 to 18 months, demand rose astronomically -- thank you, Shanna?

"I probably plan a divorce party once a month," Eppolito estimates. Having begun her career as a wedding planner, Eppolito has organized weddings, divorce parties and then second weddings for the same clients. Separation events are usually customized weekends on a smaller scale, with between six and 20 people, hosted by siblings or best friends. "After people sign the paperwork, they want to decompress," the planner explains. "Sometimes people want something cool, fun and sexy at Roku, and sometimes they want spa treatments." Slumber parties are a new option with big s'more and cinnamon-dusted donut hole-filled dessert displays, liquor, hot chocolate and classic movies.

Eppolito is adamant that these events should promote catharsis rather than negativity, as at her own post-divorce coming-out party six years ago. She confides, "I had spent enough time being hurt, angry and disappointed. You want to mourn it, but you also want to celebrate what was and what's to come."

Some divorcees embrace announcements and parties as a way to put the word out on their own terms and with their own public spin. Christine Gallagher, the Los Angeles author of "The Divorce Party Planner," agrees that "The tone of the announcement can speak volumes about what happened, so that others don't feel it's an unmentionable subject." Gallagher believes a theme party is key to salving the soul; as a result, she's organized everything from "Survivor"-themed beach parties to barbecues using the ex-husband's golf clubs as spits.

Since divorce parties mirror nuptials, gifts are an inevitable all-American requirement. Just as at weddings, divorce presents must be "new beginning" appropriate. "Often a divorce means half the stuff is taken by the ex. Some people have a divorce registry, so that necessary items like coffee makers, etc., are replaced at the party," Gallagher explains. "A toolbox is often the perfect gift for a woman. Everyone can chip in and buy a tool." Vacation funds are popular too. Searching online yields a multitude of other suggestions such as lingerie (à la bridal showers) and gag gifts like a Boyfriend Pillow that puts its arm around you or a set of Venereal Disease stuffed animals, the former probably not likely to encourage a divorcee to "get back out there."

When Phil and Barbara Penningroth -- who literally wrote the book on divorce rituals, "The Healing Divorce" (2002) -- separated after 25 years, the couple strove to find forgiveness through ritual. Their own personal ceremony included a slide show of old photos, a forgiveness vow and a ring return; they highly recommend discarding the ring as a cathartic experience, whether it's buried, returned or tossed in the river. They also encourage couples or individuals to invite family and friends.

The rise of the divorce celebration comes at a moment when America's "wedding industrial complex" is coming under some scrutiny. Earlier this year, Rebecca Mead's book,"One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding," documented many of the worst excesses. Between ostentation, one-upmanship and lavish registries, weddings have become more like episodes of MTV's "My Sweet Sixteen" than legitimate rites of passage, more about how the couple wants to be perceived than about an actual relationship.

In fact, high-tailing it to the altar has inspired myriad reality shows like TLC's "A Wedding Story," WE's "Bridezillas," ABC's "The Bachelor" and MTV's "'Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen and Dave" -- and we know how well that turned out for Electra and Navarro. Court TV broadcast its own series called "'Til Death Do Us Part," hosted by John Waters, which chronicled married couples whose relationships ended when one spouse murdered the other one.

Public divorce fanfare is seemingly the final frontier in the overblown wedding game, but these ceremonies and parties at least attempt to promote reflection and garner support during a painful time "Whatever works" is the understandable mantra of divorce veterans.

I vowed never to ride in another stretch limo, but then lo and behold, I actually recently got engaged myself. Now it's my turn to torture friends with global flights for a weekend of terribly cheesy music and obligatory meals (though I draw the line at penis straws). My mother wondered about my "morbid curiosity about divorce," when I'm supposed to be planning my wedding. Getting married these days -- when "happily ever after" is nothing short of a holy grail -- requires a leap of faith, and thorough evaluation, too. They say you should never marry someone you wouldn't want to divorce.

While marks of separation like divorce announcements and parting gifts are generally taboo for a bride-to-be, there's value in experiencing the event with eyes wide open. The ultimate objective is to avoid coming face to face with John Waters on "'Til Death Do Us Part."