Fiction

Mary Karr

Salon magazine: An interview with Mary Karr, author of The Liars' Club about memoirs, Texas, childhood, Kathryn Harrison, The Kiss, child abuse, writing, literature, autobiography. By Dwight Garner

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BY DWIGHT GARNER | one of the great joys of Mary Karr’s memoir “The Liars’ Club” is reading about what an adept little shit-kicker she was. By the age of 8, this East Texan was a world-class settler of scores, whether that meant biting the hell out of some kid who had wronged her or shinnying up a tree with a BB gun in order to pump lead into an entire offending family. “I was small-boned and skinny,” Karr writes, “but more than able to make up for that with sheer meanness.”

At 42, Mary Karr is still small-boned and skinny. And — to my general discomfort — she is still willing to do some shit-kicking. “I’d rather take a whuppin’ than do one more goddamned interview,” Karr barks at me when I meet her in a New York hotel lobby, her dark eyes shooting out little cartoon sparks of pique. (Karr’s features are so compact and well-defined that she looks like an Al Hirschfeld sketch.) “I feel like I’ve been lashed to the mast,” she says, reeling off the list of appointments and appearances she’s already logged today. Karr leads me into the hotel’s restaurant, where her fianci, British publisher Peter Strauss, is waiting. Strauss’ presence partly explains why she’s upset: This lunch turns out to be the first chance they’ve had to see each other in several days. For 45 minutes, they chew their food and cast longing glances at one another. I trot out my questions, hoping not to have any steamed vegetables flung in my direction.

Karr is in demand right now for several reasons. For one thing, “The Liars’ Club,” published early in 1995, has come to be viewed as the book that jump-started the current memoir explosion. For another, Karr and her publishers are celebrating the fact that “The Liars’ Club” has been on paperback bestseller lists for almost exactly one year — the book has gone back for 17 printings, and there are close to 400,000 copies in print. “You’d think people would be sick of me,” Karr says. “I’m sick of myself.” Yet she seems genuinely surprised at the book’s ongoing success: “If you’ve been a poet for 20 years,” she says, “you don’t expect anybody to read anything you write.”

“The Liars’ Club” deserves its wide audience. Karr is a shrewd, plucky and deeply observant storyteller, and she expertly spins out the details of her family’s life in small-town Texas in the 1950s. Her mother was a kind of “Bohemian Scarlett O’Hara” whose wild streak (and seven marriages) shocked Karr’s neighbors; a devoted parent, she would also be subject to destructive rages and psychotic episodes. Her father was a brawling oil worker, a generally taciturn man who came most fully alive when he told stories, spinning out whoppers with a group of men called “The Liars’ Club.” Karr’s greatest achievement, though, is her ability to climb inside her own 8-year-old cranium. She evokes the landscape of a preadolescent mind with such exactitude — fights, fears, petty jealousies — that “The Liars’ Club” stands as one of the best books ever written about growing up female (or growing up, period) in America.

Karr escaped Texas at age 17, she has said, when she joined some surfers bound for California. She found her way to Macalester College in St. Paul, Minn., where she spent two years before dropping out to travel. Karr later attended Vermont’s Goddard Collage, where she studied with the writers Tobias Wolff and Frank Conroy, both of whom have been influential in her career. Karr married a fellow poet in 1983 — they had a son, Dev, now 11 — and divorced 10 years later. She has published two books of poetry, “The Devil’s Tour” and “Abacus.” She now lives with her son in upstate New York, and she teaches writing at Syracuse University.

As our interview progressed, Karr’s irritation gradually vanished. She talked about everything from the storm surrounding Kathryn Harrison’s memoir “The Kiss” to her reasons for beginning to write “The Liars’ Club” (“I literally needed the money”) to her recent work on “Cherry,” a forthcoming memoir of her teenage years. No vegetables were thrown.

“The Liars’ Club” was published two years ago, yet it’s already regarded as the Ur-text of this so-called “memoir explosion.” Are you surprised that this has become such a heated cultural battle?

Well, I think memoir started with St. Augustine — not with me, and not with Oprah. Memoir has an august, and inaugust, history. St. Augustine got drop-kicked for just using the first person pronoun at all. It was considered morally reprehensible. Memoir has long been what Geoffrey Wolff has called an “outsider’s art.” People want some sort of moral compass, and the subjective suddenly has power it hasn’t had before because all of the measures of how we are doing — the church, community life, religious or government leaders, certain kinds of values, family — no longer mean what they once did. There are other people who have written memoirs — Frank Conroy, Maya Angelou. Maxine Hong Kingston wrote a great memoir, “Woman Warrior.” I think I’m the current … (trails off). But I don’t know why they don’t call Richard Ford and bust his chops about all the Harlequin romances that are being published. Most of the memoirs are going to be bad, the way most novels are going to be bad, the way most articles are going to be bad, the way most poems are going to be bad. It’s hard to make something of quality.

You must feel like you’re being blamed for creating a monster.

Yeah, and I’m crying all the way to the bank. Toby Wolff did a great piece in the Times last Sunday where he said — talking about James Wolcott (who wrote a strongly negative review of Harrison “The Kiss” in The New Republic) — that Wolcott stood at the gates of literature as if to prevent any memoir from passing through. There is a history of genres or different forms (being discredited). A sonnet was seen as really low rent at one time among poets because it didn’t have the sweep of an epic — and it didn’t have the rhetorical power of an epistle. The notion that something would be a little lyrical song, or that a novel was made up — it was just fancy, sprung from someone’s head — was seen as morally reprehensible. It’s odd that when a new genre emerges as interesting, the only way people choose to take it on is on some moral ground based on the notion that art is mimetic. No one calls up Don DeLillo and says, “What things about Lee Harvey Oswald did you make up and which ones are absolutely true?” They are fully accepting of freedom in that form. But I guess with memoirists choosing to use novelistic devices, these are fair questions for readers to ask.

I read an interview in which you said that one or two of your father’s “Liars’ Club” stories in your book were, in fact, things you made up.

They are pure fiction. They are absolutely made up. But they are not represented as truth in the book. I sort of defend doing it that way. They are seen as bullshit, and represented as bullshit in the book. The interesting things people have said — you know, “Did your mother really shoot at your stepfather?” — I’ve responded like, “I wouldn’t make that up.” Then I’m all morally outraged. But what do I expect? You sign up to play football and then you complain you’ve been hit?

Are you surprised that Kathryn Harrison’s “The Kiss” — a book for which you provided a cover blurb — has sparked so much animosity?

I knew that people would go after her. Not for having (incest) happen to her, because at least since Freud we have known these things. Since Electra, since Oedipus we’ve known this stuff happens. That’s why it’s a big deal — it’s a big cultural taboo. Not for having it happen, but for writing about it and in Harrison’s case for not martyring herself, for not being more broken, for not taking more of the pose of the victim. I think to some extent she takes more responsibility for events than I personally felt she should. I still thought of her as a child with a parent who was taking advantage of her. To me the horribleness of the book is how it’s been marketed as a sexier story than it is. It’s not a sexy story. There are two sex scenes in it and even those are not hot, not sexy. I don’t think they are intended to be. I don’t think she wrote the book that way, so to some extent it’s a failure in marketing. Some guy sitting next to me at the PEN dinner last night, actually a pretty well-known journalist, was saying, “I don’t want to read about this.” And I said, “Have you read it?” And he said no. And I said, “Look, it’s not a sound bite. It’s not a cartoon strip. You are reacting to a sound bite and a cartoon strip. That’s what you find morally reprehensible.” That’s why she wrote a whole book about it — instead of a magazine article.

What about James Wolcott’s argument — that Harrison should have waited to publish it, if only for her children’s sake?

I think it’s a travesty. I picked on an old woman who was dying of cancer (her grandmother), Toby Wolff bombed someone’s ancestral village (in his Vietnam memoir “In Pharoah’s Army) … I don’t go to writers or memoirs for morally heroic behavior, I go to Mother Theresa and Desmond Tutu. I don’t think Harrison is in the business of holding herself up. In a country as libidinized as ours, where people commonly watch “Pulp Fiction” and are exposed to so many things, the sort of venom that has been pointed at her just seems out of proportion. I thought the Wolcott piece was a cheap shot, and I think a lot of the shots have been cheap. I think the marketing of the book has been cheap, and I don’t think it’s a cheap book. I read the book, and I found it moving. I found it very raw. This woman from the Times called me up, Doreen (Carvajall), and she was gunning for her from the beginning. She said, “Do you think this is true?” I said, “Well, I assume it’s true and I also kind of don’t give a shit. Why would you make it up if it weren’t true?” So she said, “Don’t you think it’s morally wrong for her to write about it?” And I said, “Well, is it morally wrong for you to write about it?” It’s OK for you to write about it as long as you are taking the moral high ground.

You know, I don’t know Kathryn Harrison. I’ve seen her with her children it so happens — she gave me a ride somewhere one time. She is a good mother. She is not somebody who pimp-slaps her kids up and down the block. And James Wolcott cannot fucking know what kind of mother she is from reading that book, any more than he can know what kind of mother I am, or what kind of father Tobias Wolff is. He cannot make ad hominem swipes, arguing in a deductive way about what you presume someone’s behavior to be in print, and not have it be just malicious. He could have argued about that book in all kinds of ways — about its failures as a book on aesthetic grounds. He could have argued about the marketing. I teach, so I see this all the time with students who think they know the moral ethicacy of someone’s position based on their race or their gender. They say that Michael Herr is writing about Vietnam from a “privileged” position. I’m like, “He’s a white guy, is that what that means? What do you know about his position? What do you know about his experience, or Maya Angelou’s, or Kathryn Harrison’s?” The other thing that Doreen said to me on the phone that I resented was that (Harrison) did it for the money. I said, “I did it for the fucking money.” We all do it for the money. You are doing it for the money. And Harrison had money, so … I don’t know. It’s that lack of attention to the text that bothers me. The idea that we are making these arguments presuming we know who these people are when you can make a really good argument about the text: “I don’t like this narrator in the text and here is why.” You can make an aesthetic argument without making it ad hominem.

Let’s move on to your book. One of the things I love most about “The Liars’ Club” is that you are such a scrappy little beast, even as an 8-year-old. Are you still someone with a “naturally bad temperament”?

I think I have a bad temper. I am impatient, unlike my fiancé here, who is a font of patience. I am naturally impatient. It’s why I live my life as a college professor instead of a stock broker. I am patient with my son — otherwise he wouldn’t have a pulse at the end of the day.

In the book, you often go to extreme — and quite comic — lengths to settle scores. You climb up a tree to fire a BB gun at a kid who’d hit you. Do you still have these kind of score-settling urges?

Absolutely. I go to lengths to settle scores. But it’s funny, I am more forgiving than any 8,000 people. I really am. Ironically enough, I am capable of having an outburst and saying “Fuck you, fuck you!” then (speaks softly) “God, I’m sorry.” But it’s hard for me to really scorch the earth. For instance, I’ve never been estranged from anyone in my family. I still have my best friend from the fourth grade. I corresponded with my grade school principal, who taught me how to play chess, until he died. Once I’m committed to someone as a friend, I think I’m really loyal. I have very fierce attachments.

Speaking of settling scores, one of the most remarkable scenes in “The Liars’ Club” is one in which you step out of the text and address this teenager — now an adult — who’d raped you decades before, when you were 7. You imagine him learning about your book, and what you have to say about him in it. Are you glad you did this? And have there been any ramifications?

It cheered me up — which was its main purpose, I guess. Do I think this guy is quaking in his boots? No, because actually this person would know me better than anybody who had read the text. I am not sneaky about it. I’m just sort of out there.

What’s it like going back to Texas now, after people have read “The Liars’ Club”?

I love it. I love the idiom. I love my mother and my sister. Peter and I were just down there in Texas. When you grow up someplace like where I grew up, people are not resentful about being written about in a book — they are kind of happy to have somebody write about them. I turned out to read, or to sign books, near my hometown at a library and there were like 500 people there. It was 102 degrees or something. I was very moved by it. Obviously that’s the most gratifying thing for anybody — to go home and have done good. The guy who I stole watermelons with when I was a kid, who is now the sheriff of this town, was there. People from my neighborhood, guys who drank with my father. It’s moving.

How often do you get back?

Twice a year. I talk on the phone a lot with my mother and my sister. Every day, or every other day. My sister comes up once or twice a year, we meet somewhere.

You showed your mother and your sister the text before it was published, I’ve heard. (Karr’s father died in 1985.) And they didn’t have any objections to anything in it. But what if they had had some problems with it? Would you have changed things? This must be a constant problem for memoirists.

I didn’t think they would have any problems with it. I know these people really well. I guess I had a fundamental faith. My bottom line on everybody I’m kin to, other than my grandmother, was that I really loved them. And I sort of assumed that the bottom line for a reader would be affection rather than scorn or outrage. Because I believe in the redemptive powers of love, and I believe that I’ve been redeemed by loving them and them by loving me — and hopefully the reader would have the same experience. I mean, my mother had a psychotic episode, and it was really scary. She drank a fifth of vodka at a pop, and behaved in ways that were unsettling for a little kid. But she was not cruel ever, really never. Almost never. Never to me.

For as much as you expose them in the book, you expose yourself a hundred times more.

Doing that as a kid is a much safer thing. I’m writing a book now about my adolescence, and partly about my adulthood. You have a different kind of responsibility as a character. People hold you to a higher standard. It’s easy to say that I looked like an asshole when I was 8 years old.

It must be an unsettling experience to keep meeting people who know so much about you while you know nothing about them.

I practice denial. I just pretend they don’t. I live in a town where people aren’t interested in me or my book. I coach Little League. I don’t seek it out. I am glad for every nickel I can make and everything I can do for my kid — to generate dollars for my kid and myself. But I basically don’t spend a lot of time talking about it. Someone will say, “I loved your book,” and I say, “Good for me,” and that’s basically the end of the conversation. I basically don’t have a lot to say about it.

You said earlier that, basically, we’re all in it for the money. Can you take me back to the earliest stages of your thinking about writing a memoir? What made you sit down and write this book?

I literally needed the money. I needed it really badly. My marriage had just ended; I didn’t have a car. I won something called the Whiting writer’s award and met Binky (Urban), my agent. She was Toby’s agent. She took a bunch of people to dinner after the Whiting. Toby was an old friend of mine. I hadn’t seen him in five years. I talked about writing this book, and she said, “Send me a proposal” and I blew it off. And six months later my marriage was breaking up. I had no money, no vehicle. You know, I owned my house, I was a college professor — it’s not like I was on the street. I don’t want to poor-mouth. But I needed a Toyota, I just needed a vehicle. So I wrote the proposal. I had tried to write “The Liars’ Club” as a novel a long time ago, back when my son was a baby, about ’88 or ’89.

Have you been back to poetry?

Yeah, I’m hoping to finish a book of poems.

What about fiction?

I don’t know. People keep asking me about that. I can’t imagine it, just because I don’t know much about it. I do read more novels now than I did before, because everyone keeps saying maybe I should do this. But I just don’t know much about fiction. A novel is a less forgiving form. It requires a kind of structural integrity that a memoir doesn’t.

So you agree with the people who say that the novel can simply do things that memoir cannot. Or vice-versa, I suppose.

Absolutely. Absolutely! I don’t think vice-versa. The only thing you can get from a memoir that you can’t get from a novel — and actually my undergraduate students taught me this. I said, “Why would you want a memoir class?” And they said an amazing thing that was counterintuitive to me — that it’s a kind of survival testimony. The fact that the person lives past the book, that the character goes on, is a kind of hopeful thing, a priori. It’s not the fact that it’s true that makes it better, it’s the sense that they went and got away from their parents, they reconciled who they were after this struggle, were able to go forward. It’s a kind of survival tale in a way. And a novel can’t get that — unless there is another “Call me Ishmael,” or “Call me Ishmael 2.”

One of the interesting things about “The Liars’ Club” is that you acknowledge other people’s opinions. You’re always popping out of the text to say something like, “If my sister could speak now, she’d say …”

Well, I felt that much obliged to. But those were actually the only points … I mean, my mother and my sister didn’t correct anything, which is hard to believe, isn’t it? I did this interview with a bunch of memoirists for Harper’s a couple of years ago, and none of them had corrections. Frank Conroy didn’t have any corrections, Geoffrey Wolff had only minor corrections — his mother’s father came from Ireland in this year not that year, that kind of thing. Maxine Hong Kingston, no corrections. It’s interesting, because if you’ve ever tried to tell a story at dinner … it’s odd that (these writers) aren’t corrected. I’m sure that people see things differently. I also know that people in our families know how we see things. I don’t think it’s a great surprise that my mother thinks I hated her mother.

I’ve heard that you had a very difficult time writing “The Liars’ Club.”

I would lie down on the floor and go to sleep after about an hour and a half’s work. Literally go to sleep like I had been driving all night. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I went to a shrink and said, “Am I repressing something, bah bah bah bah.” And she said, “Well, I think you are just really exhausted by it.” So I don’t know why. I think this is true for a lot of writers. I’ve talked to writers, and they get to a difficult place in the book emotionally — or something about it is hard — and they are sitting there for an hour and a half and it’s all they can do. It’s very effortful.

Has writing your new memoir, “Cherry,” been just as hard?

When I have time to do it, I just do it. If it’s bad I throw it out. I mean, I haven’t had time. I’ve got almost a book of poems and a start on this book, but I’m done teaching at the end of April and I’m going to take a year off.

Your mother seems like she was a real rarity in small-town Texas in the 1950s — someone who was cultured, who listened to Bessie Smith and read “Anna Karenina.” How much of a leg up did this give you?

It gave me every leg up in the world. When people say to me, “How did you survive?” I say, “Well I learned how to read, I had books all over the house. I had somebody who every time I wrote something thought it was like the cutest thing they ever saw.” It was a massive advantage. I was reading Shakespeare when I was a little kid. That was a great thing.

Do you ever wonder what would have become of your life had your mother not been so cultured, if you hadn’t become a writer?

That’s like asking me, “What would you be like without gravity?” I don’t know. I mean, it’s kind of hard to know, isn’t it? I would be married to some refinery worker pumping out babies in a trailer park, I guess. I don’t know. I’d be trying to get money for a bass boat.

Dwight Garner is Salon's book review editor.

50 shades of Shutterstock

Slide show: Everyone's favorite light-bondage bestseller illustrated by inexplicable stock photography SLIDE SHOW

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50 shades of Shutterstock

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This week, for roughly the millionth time, E.L. James’ romance-bondage trilogy “50 Shades” nabs the No. 1, 2 and 3 spots on the New York Times bestseller lists. We don’t get it either. Every page of that book, which famously began as “Twilight” fan fiction, elicits a sigh of confusion and weird secondary embarrassment. The question is: Who would read this? (The answer is: Apparently everyone.) It’s the same baffled, helpless feeling we get when we sort through stock photos on a daily basis. Stock photos – which have been the subject of recent outstanding Internet satire – are used by this site, and many others, to illustrate our flood of content. Many are plain and simple, but a good portion are flat-out mind-blowing. Why did anyone think that photo was a good idea? It only made sense to join these forces. And so, we present to you passages from the most head-scratching bestseller of our time, illustrated with the assistance of inexplicable stock photography.

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Megaphone by Natalie Bakopoulos

Miracles happen, even in an Athens crippled by a garbage strike, to a young mother unsure of her ability to love

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Megaphone by Natalie Bakopoulos (Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign)

It’s the third week of the garbage strike and Athens has begun to smell. Bright-colored trash bags fill the curbs and alleyways, and we have learned to step over the rubbish and avoid the blocks that had become unnavigable. We know which stretches are particularly foul — a stretch along Mavili Square, or the entire top end of Monastiraki. Odos Athinas is a sea of trash, and Omonia is ghastly but we don’t go there anyway. May has gone from unseasonably cool to raging hot, and the garbage seems to be melting. In front of the museum it’s like yet another installation project. When I arrive each morning I want to wretch.

My 5-year-old son, Alekos, sits on the balcony of our apartment. Visible from there are pine trees and details of other people’s lives, audible are the sounds of morning, the birds above and voices below. Evenings, Alekos lies on the divan on the balcony in his pajamas, watching the moon. He is obsessed with it, and his father made him a playlist of all the Greek songs that mention it. When he was smaller he’d stare at the moon until he fell asleep.

This morning, though, Alekos lies flat on the ground, peering down through the slats of the railing, staring at the trash. Next to him is his iPad ­– a gift from his father, and yes, I know, but his father doesn’t live with us and what can you do?­ — and now he favors bad pop music like the older kids at school. So I’m surprised this morning when I hear the sounds of Elmo counting. He’s embarrassed by this favorite YouTube clip­­ – it’s for babies, he says ­­­­– but it comforts him. The tension these days is overwhelming.

Alekos looks up when he sees me, furrows his brow, and tells me if he were a deputy like his father, he’d force everyone to clean up the garbage. “And to make a new government,” he says.

I tell him that would be nice.

“At least I can fly,” he says. He is wearing the Spider-Man costume my sister brought him from the States.

I tell him Spider-Man jumps and leaps and sticks to things. He doesn’t fly. “Besides,” I quickly add, thinking of all the balconies around us. “You’re not Spider-Man.” Even I have wondered what it might be like to jump from one to the next. I smooth his light hair, which is growing long. “You need a haircut,” I say.

I hold out two polos, one white, one blue, so he feels he has a choice. He pulls the blue shirt over the costume, and I hope that his teachers aren’t too upset by this because I am too exhausted to argue with him.

Outside, the trash has piled up, and Alekos can’t get into the car from the curb. I tell him I’ll pull the car up so he can get in without pushing his way through the refuse. He wrinkles his nose at the smell. But when I get to the driver’s side, Alekos is no longer standing there.

Instead he is floating 12 feet above the curb, his Spider-Man-clad arms stretched out like wings.

Alekos,” is all I can say, “get down.” He swoops over to me, hovering just above my reach, and finally glides gracefully to my feet as if he has been practicing this move for months. Bending down to face him and gripping the straps of his backpack, I have the panicked feeling that if I let go he will fly away.

“How long has this been going on?” I whisper. “Tell me.”

One old man walks past us with his hands behind his back and says nothing. He barely notices us. Across the street a woman hurries along in heels, yelling into her phone. No one else is around.

Alekos shrugs, aloof, and looks away with those dark eyes, almost black, like his father’s. “I tried to tell you.”

“Does Babas know about this?” I ask, suddenly sure his father would keep this from me, just the way he failed to mention his girlfriend was staying the night, reading Alekos bedtime stories when he stayed there. Oh, the flying? I thought you knew?

“No,” Alekos says.

“Just at home, OK?” I say. I don’t want to alarm him, but I want to be firm.

He digs in his backpack and tells me he saw his father on the news that morning. This is one reason I don’t like him to watch television at all. For the rest of the drive, we’re quiet.

“I know I’m not Spider-Man,” he says finally, when we arrive.

“OK,” I say. “Do you fly at school?” I ask.

“No.” He looks at me in the rearview mirror, completely incredulous. “Nobody does.”

He gets out of the car and hurries off to meet some other kids, who admire his Spider-Man arms as if they are tattooed. I wait for him to turn around and wave but he doesn’t, and for a moment it seems his feet levitate off the ground. But maybe I am imagining it; he walks in, one foot after the other, like everyone else. I park at the metro station and take the train into the city center, turning up the ringer on my phone.

I call his father three times but get his voice mail. I text him to call me. He texts me an hour later — Ola kala? — and I trip over a split-open trash bag, as if these sidewalks weren’t already treacherous enough. I answer, Yes, everything’s fine. This will have to wait until we are face to face, which is not often.

We met when I was teaching art classes on Paros one summer. I soon got pregnant, and we didn’t get married, but I stayed in Greece. I think he still resents me for not marrying him. To be honest, I can’t even remember my reasons. It all seems like another lifetime, decades ago, when Athens felt proud and vibrant those few years after the Olympics.

A few more messages come from him but I’m busy and don’t answer. Then, when I’m outside the museum, finishing my installation, he shows up.

“You don’t call me three times in a row with no message,” he says, frustrated. “You barely call me at all, unless the kid is on fire.”

No, not fire, I think.

He surveys my project, one giant megaphone outside the  museum, the size of a kiosk, with cameras inside that will film street activity and project it onto a screen inside. Tiny figurines in various stages of undress shoot out from the megaphone, suspended by invisible wire. I’ve compiled old Greek footage of both celebrations and protests, which will air inside the museum, and the outdoor footage will be superimposed on those old clips. I wonder if anyone is inside now, watching us, or what we’re matched with: a hectic street scene, a political rally, a brilliant August moon?

“I like it,” he says, in English, in that supportive tone he uses when he doesn’t know what to say about my work but wants to convey he approves.

“Oh, stop it,” I say.

“And with the garbage,” he says. “A nice touch.”

And the two of us laugh, the first time we have laughed together in a long time, since before the elections, since before the crisis, probably not since Alekos was an infant and we marveled at every smile and uttered “word.” Suddenly I think I should have thought to make those tiny figures children, with wings. I wonder why I didn’t think of it before, why it always takes the manifestation of something so crazy to make me realize something so simple.

“Let me take you for a coffee,” he says, “or something stronger? We can sit outside, where it’s quiet.” The trash stench is so bad that everyone sits inside, smoking.

“You have time for that?” I ask, knowing he doesn’t. I can hear his phone buzzing in his pocket. “I should keep working.”

One night, right before these last elections, he came to pick Alekos up and he kissed me when Alekos went to grab his toys. “Not yet,” I said. My attempt at self-preservation while the rest of the country implodes. It’s hard enough just to be friends.

“OK,” he said then. “We’ll get there, one day.”

Now, I lean into him a moment. Together we survey what I’ve made. I want to tell him, Our son can fly. I want to tell him, Stay.

“Are we there yet,” he says quietly, distantly, not as question but statement, and he rests his chin on my head and looks out into the street: the sleepy shops, the political posters pasted over the boarded-up kiosks, the hot afternoon sun beating down on it all. “Are we?”

And then my phone is ringing­­ — it’s the school office — and I know of course what has happened. I imagine Alekos flying around his classroom like an angry bee, out into the schoolyard, beyond the trash, beyond the protests and our land in limbo. Or maybe he is more relaxed, gliding effortlessly the way I fly in my dreams, his superhero costume and sandy hair glowing in the afternoon sun, until he finds us here, his parents who don’t know where we are or where we’re going, and taking us up with him, catapulting us into the vast unknown. Our images would flicker on the screen inside, soaring above that old footage of our shattered, magnificent city.

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Natalie Bakopoulos's first novel, "The Green Shore," will be published by Simon & Schuster in June 2012. Her work has appeared in Tin House, Ninth Letter, Granta Online, and The O. Henry Prize Stories 2010, and she is a contributing editor for the online journal Fiction Writers Review.

Almost by Chris Pavone

She never thought of herself as ambitious, until motherhood and career collided in one horrifying hospital ride

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Almost by Chris Pavone (Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign)

It’s just before dawn when Isabel puts the final page down on the fat stack of paper that sits on the rumpled bedspread, next to an overflowing crystal ashtray and a crumpled soft-pack of cigarettes. She’d tried Wellbutrin and Xanax; she’d used patches and gum. In the end, the only thing that made her quit smoking was being pregnant.

But then, after everything, she couldn’t help but start up again. At first it was just a single cigarette per day, or two. Then it became a few, and within months she was back to full-throttle. Over the past couple of years, she’s tried to quit a few times, but not seriously. She anticipates — she accepts — failure. Because she doesn’t want to quit, not really. She wants instead to try, and fail.

Isabel picks up the manuscript with both hands, flips it over, and uses her thumbs to align the pages. She takes a deep breath, lets out a long sigh.

Another night lying in bed, working. She’d fallen asleep at 11, then woke sometime after 2, her mind unquiet. But it wasn’t until 3 that she admitted she was awake. She then picked up a manuscript and a pencil, and started working, page after page, all through the desperate hours. Vaguely reminiscent of those days when Nicky was an infant, in the middle of the night, sleep-deprived, awake in a dormant world. The small hours when a blanket of quiet smothers the city, but through the moth-eaten holes there’s the occasional lowing of a railroad in New Jersey, the distant Dopplered wail of an ambulance siren. Then the inevitable thump of the newspaper on the doormat, the end of the idea of night, even though it’s still dark out.

She stares across the room, off into the black nothingness of the picture window on the opposite wall, its severe surface barely softened by the half-drawn shades, an aggressive void invading the serene cocoon of her bedroom. The room is barely lit by a small bullet-shaped reading sconce mounted over the headboard, aiming a beam of light directly at the top of her head, creating a halo in the reflection in the window. An angel. Except she’s not.

Isabel shuffles into the dark hall, flips the light switch. She turns on the kitchen lights, and the coffee — switched from auto-on, which is set to start brewing an hour from now, to on — and the small television on the counter. Filling the lonely apartment with humming electronic life.

The coffee machine hisses and sputters, big plops falling into the tempered glass. She watches the contraption’s clock, changing from 5:48 to 5:49. Grabs the plastic handle of the carafe and fills the mug with hot, viscous, bitter, bracing caffeination. She takes a small sip, then a larger one.

She walks down the hall, lined with the photographs that she’d unearthed four years ago, when she was moving out of her matrimonial apartment, into this single-woman space in a new neighborhood, far from the painful memories of her home — of her life — downtown, where she’d been running into too many mothers, often with their children. Women she’d known from the playgrounds and the toy stores and the mommy-and-me music classes, from the gyms and grocers and coffee shops, from preschool drop-off and the waiting room at the pediatrician’s. All those other little children growing older, getting bigger.

So she’d bought herself a one-bedroom in an uptown full-service building, the type of apartment that a woman chooses when she reconciles herself that she’s not going to be living with another human being, probably forever. That she’s making her loneliness comfortable. Palliative care.

She lined this nice new hallway with framed photos. There she is, herself, a smiling little toddler. And with her mother on the first day of second grade. At college graduation with her two best friends. There are her grandparents, at the final family reunion before they both died, within weeks of each other. Isabel in a big white dress, aglow, in the middle of the panoramic-lens group shot. A much smaller print, lying in a hospital bed, beaming at Nicky in her arms, tiny and red and angry in his swaddling blanket and blue cap. A grainy shot of herself onstage in a little black dress, accepting an award, beaming again, but not as wide. Some joys aren’t as joyous as others.

It was more than possible — it was inevitable — to blame herself, her ambition, even though she’d never thought of herself as especially ambitious. But everyone has important moments, in any job, at any level of ambition. In the Supreme Court or a fourth-grade classroom, on an assembly line or a fishing boat, there are crucial days.

For Isabel the literary agent, this day was dominated by an auction she was running for a hotly anticipated second novel, whose author needed a lot of hand-holding, and whose bidders kept increasing their offers every half-hour, from mid-five figures to high-sixes in the course of the day. This lucrative 9-to-6 was followed by a 7 o’clock black-tie that included an honor for, and an interminable speech by, a different author of hers. So this frantic day, it featured a wardrobe change. And the evening portion was just as important work as the daytime; just because there was liquor and food and fancy dress didn’t mean it wasn’t work.

The nanny called a couple times during Isabel’s 16 hours at work, worrying that Nicky’s cold or flu or whatever was getting worse. Dave was away on a business trip, and Isabel didn’t want Lupe to be the one to go to the doctor with Nicky; the nanny’s English would be generously described as weak, and sometimes that mattered. So Isabel made an appointment for first thing the next morning. Anyone would’ve done the same thing.

Isabel returned home after midnight, exhausted. She thanked Lupe and sent her home in a taxi, and let her cocktail dress fall to the floor, and collapsed into bed.

She was awakened at dawn by the screaming. Nicky was burning up, 106. She rushed downstairs with the boy in her arms, and ran around the block, panting and desperate, until she found a taxi.  “Don’t worry, Sweetie,” she said. “We’ll be at the doctor’s in a minute.” The hospital was only a mile away.

The taxi peeled away from the curb, the eerie blue light washing over the dingy white garbage trucks, the Mexican kids swabbing down the sidewalks in front of all-night delis, the street-cart vendors positioning their pastries in front of office buildings, the joggers with reflective stripes down their shorts, the normal business of a city’s day starting, coming to life.

“Are we there yet?” Nicky asked, as he had so many times. From the back seat of the shiny SUV that was cleaned every week by the guys in the garage, on their way out to the weekend house in East Hampton, back when her life looked like something to be envied. He had said it on the way to visit Dave’s parents in Oyster Bay, or hers upstate in the Hudson Valley. While heading to Vermont, for a ski weekend; to Cape Cod, to visit friends; to the Bronx Zoo and the Brooklyn Aquarium, Yankee Stadium and Citi Field. It was something the little boy asked, all the time.

But this was the last time.

In the back of the moldy-smelling taxi she pushed the fever-damp hair off her son’s hot forehead. “Nearly,” she said. He shut his eyes, and then slipped silently into a coma, there on the slippery silver vinyl seat of the taxi.

An hour later, Nicky was dead. A supervirus, said the young doctor, who had been up all night, up for who knows how long, working; he was tired and frustrated, and perhaps not as tactful as he could’ve been.

At the end of the hall Isabel stops at the spotlit photograph, a small black-and-white in the center of a vast expanse of stark white matting. A little boy, her baby, laughing on a rocky beach, running out of gentle surf, holding a little toy hammer. Isabel reaches her hand to her lips, plants a kiss on her fingers, and transfers the kiss to the little boy. As she does every morning.

There was, the doctor added, almost nothing she could’ve done. Almost.

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Memorial Day fiction: Are we there yet?

Salon exclusive: At the start of the summer fiction season, new stories from Chris Pavone and Natalie Bakopoulos

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Memorial Day fiction: Are we there yet? (Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign)

“Are we there yet?”

It’s a dreaded sentence. When it’s spoken by an anxious child from the back seat, it’s enough to make stressed-out parents wish they’d never taken a family vacation in the first place. And even if it’s delivered as a sing-songy punch line, from an impatient partner or spouse on a long road trip, it’s an irritating eye-roller of a joke.

So this Memorial Day weekend — the unofficial start of the summer vacation season, and therefore the summer fiction season — we asked two novelists to reclaim the sentence in a new and adult context. For our latest fiction project, there was only one simple rule: Each story had to include the line “Are we there yet?” in a fresh and surprising way.

Our authors are two people you should be taking to the beach with you this summer. Chris Pavone is the author of “The Expats,” the New York Times best-selling thriller with more satisfying twists than the Pacific Coast Highway. Natalie Bakopoulos is the author of “The Green Shore,” one of 2012′s most anticipated debut novels, a beautiful family drama that is set during another Greek crisis — the 1967 military coup.

To read the stories, just follow the links below:

“Megaphone” by Natalie Bakopoulos

“Almost” by Chris Pavone

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David Daley is the senior culture editor of Salon.

“Frankenstein” remixed

This masterful new adaptation of Mary Shelley's classic novel may be the best interactive fiction yet

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This originally appeared on The Chimerist, a site devoted to the intersection of art, stories, and technology.

Whatever interactive fiction is (and we’re still figuring that out) it suffers from all the problems of traditional fiction and then some. The vast majority of novels and short stories aren’t much good, but when a branching fiction — along the lines of the old “Choose Your Own Adventure” children’s books — fails to engage, the first impulse is to blame the form rather than the content. Let “Frankenstein,” just released by Inkle Studios and Profile Books, serve as a reproach to that reflex. The app is a creative, subtle and sensitive adaptation of Mary Shelley’s classic novella, and it has singlehandedly renewed this critic’s hopes for interactive fiction.

What this “Frankenstein” isn’t is a replication of the source text with the addition of a lot of digital doohickeys like sound effects and illustrations that animate when tapped. The app is all about the text, even if it is beautifully framed by period art and anatomical illustrations. The reader is presented with a screenful of narration and then offered one or more responses to it. The preferred response, when tapped, delivers up another screen of text. (In an absurdly pleasing visual touch, these appear as sheets of paper fasted together by straight pins.) According to the press materials, the reader’s responses will shape the way the narrative is presented, although not to the degree of substantively changing the plot.

This is an important point. The pleasure of storytelling lies in the dynamic between the surprising and the inevitable. The reader wants to feel the story is going somewhere, that its events follow from each other in meaningful, but not too obvious ways. When a story can go anywhere, it feels meaningless. In Mary Shelley’s novella, which is saturated with the Western tradition of the tragedy, Viktor Frankenstein’s character is such that he must create a monster, and the monster’s body is such that he can never belong among human beings however much he yearns to. A “Frankenstein” that ended with either misfit finding a comfortable place in the world would be a travesty.

But that doesn’t mean the reader doesn’t long for the story to unfold otherwise; that’s the nature of tragedy. The great insight that writer Dave Morris brings to this adaptation of the novel is that while a reader cannot significantly change the outcome of the story, the interactive element can change the shading and flavor of the tale. It can be mournful and reflective or action-packed. The creature and his creator can show greater or lesser ambivalence about their own behaviors. The ambiguity of both figures is baked into Mary Shelley’s novella, and while Morris has nearly doubled the word count of the original, this mostly amounts to playing up or down what’s already there.

Morris — a novelist who has written graphic novels, games and, yes, Choose-Your-Own-Adventure stories for kids — has changed the original text in other ways, as well. (Let’s take a moment here to point out to all future narrative app developers that hiring a real writer who actually knows what he or she is doing is totally worth it.) He’s moved the setting to revolutionary France, a choice that shows shrewd understanding of the idealistic political climate that affected Shelley’s thinking; the new Republic is its own kind of Frankenstein’s monster. He’s also eliminated much of the 19th-century framing of the tale and converted it into two present-tense narrations. One is Frankenstein’s dialogue with either himself or a (possibly imaginary) companion. The other is a second-person account of the monster’s first weeks of life as it spies on a family of dispossessed French nobility and has the chance to observe the loving relationships it can never enjoy itself.

Morris presents the reader with choices I’ve not encountered in other interactive fictions. Is humanity mostly good, or mostly evil? Does the most recent development make you (the monster) feel hope or despair? Is the revolution the dawn of a brave new world or a descent into chaos and barbarity? While I’m usually skeptical that present-tense narration increases the “immediacy” of a story, in this case, it really does work, particularly in the sections concerning the monster. Depending on your own outlook, you may urge him to keep trying to connect with humanity, or promptly forward him on to homicidal rage.

In either case, the narrative is shaped not by the reader deciding to turn left or right, to go down into the cellar or to get out of the house — the usual actions offered on the choose-your-own menu. Instead, the options have more to do with personality and interpretation, beliefs and ideas. As a result of the reader’s choices, the characters seem more like him- or herself, with a concurrent ratcheting up of emotional investment. To my surprise, I found myself more moved by this adaptation of the Shelley novel than I have been by the source text. (Although the app does include the original if you want to compare and contrast.) This is the only interactive fiction I’ve ever read with that quintessential, old-fashioned readerly avidity: the hunger to know what happens next. Of course, I already knew, but that didn’t matter at all.

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Laura Miller

Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com.

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