Suzi Parker

Blood money

An Arkansas prison-plasma business protected by Clinton cronies led to a scandal that almost toppled the government -- of Canada.

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Even the residents of Grady, Ark., call it “godforsaken.” It’s an enclave of poverty where rampant drug dealing contributes at least as much to the bleak economy as the main legitimate business — farming — does.

But looming among the rows of cotton outside this dismal Arkansas River Delta town, there used to be a more profitable form of agriculture: human plasma farming. At the Cummins Unit of the Arkansas penal system during the 1980s, while President Clinton was still governor, inmates would regularly cross the prison hospital’s threshold to give blood, lured by the prospect of receiving $7 a pint. The ritual was creepy to behold: platoons of prisoners lying supine on rows of cots, waiting for the needle-wielding prison orderly to puncture a vein and watch the clear bags fill with blood. Administrators then sold the blood to brokers, who in turn shipped it to other states, and to Japan, Italy, Spain and Canada. Despite repeated warnings from the Food and Drug Administration, Arkansas kept its prison plasma program running until 1994, when it became the very last state to cease selling its prisoners’ plasma.

In a year when Arkansas scandals dating back to his governorship have returned to haunt Clinton, this one nearly toppled the government — of Canada. Arkansas’ prison-blood business created a health crisis in Canada that nearly brought down the Liberal Party government last spring. At least 42,000 Canadians have been infected with hepatitis C, and thousands more with the HIV virus, thanks to poorly screened plasma. Some of it has been traced back to the Cummins prison in Arkansas. More than 7,000 Canadians are expected to die as a result of the blood scandal.

The Canadian Krever Commission, established in 1993 to investigate the tainted-blood epidemic, concluded the government did not adequately supervise the Red Cross of Canada, the agency responsible for making sure that blood suppliers maintained adequate screening standards. As a result of the scandal, the Red Cross has been stripped of responsibility for the blood system. Compensation was offered to 1,000 people with AIDS, but the Toronto Star estimates nearly 2,000 are suffering. More than 20,000 tainted-blood victims with hepatitis C filed a class-action suit against the Canadian government, alleging that sloppy screening protocols allowed tainted blood products from Arkansas prisons and elsewhere to make their way into Canada. Last week the Canadian government established a $1.1 billion (Canadian) fund to compensate some hepatitis C victims, but advocates say the fund won’t be enough.

Former Arkansas inmates who claim they contracted hepatitis C and AIDS as a result of improper procedures are also planning to bring a lawsuit against the Arkansas Department of Corrections, Health Management Associates Inc. (HMA), Pine Bluff Biologicals — the two companies that held the prison’s plasma contracts — the state of Arkansas, Clinton and his administration at the time. The White House did not return calls seeking comment on the lawsuits.

The scandals have received little media attention here, but they tainted Clinton’s years as governor. Some newspaper columnists at the time said it could jeopardize his reelection. Two longtime friends of Clinton’s were embroiled in the mess: Leonard Dunn, a former Pine Bluff banker and now chief of staff for Lt. Gov. Winthrop Rockefeller, served as HMA’s president; and Richard Mays, a Little Rock lawyer, judge and Clinton ally, was hired in 1985 as an “ombudsman,” an ill-defined position that was supposedly created to help bring the prison medical system into compliance with state standards. The exact payment Mays received, or what his duties were, was never established, and became the subject of a state police investigation because of allegations that it was actually a “bribe” paid to a Clinton supporter to allow the program to continue.

Problems with the prison plasma program were well known to Clinton throughout the 1980s. The FDA cited HMA for safety deficiencies and shut it down for over a year in 1983, following a recall of hepatitis B-tainted products that had been shipped to Canada and distributed to hemophiliacs. In 1984, the FDA revoked the center’s license to operate, and in 1985, an inmate filed a lawsuit against HMA for inadequate medical care. In 1986, Clinton’s state police investigated problems at the prison and found little cause for concern, while an outside investigator looked at the same allegations and found dozens of safety violations.

Now, more than a decade later, those old Arkansas scandals are getting new attention, thanks to lawsuits and agitation in Canada. To date, the scandal has gotten almost no media attention in the United States. While reporters are riveted by the Monica Lewinsky mess, they’ve ignored a real Clinton scandal, maybe because it involves two groups no one cares much about — people who aren’t Americans, and prisoners.

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The Arkansas prison system has been in near-perpetual crisis since at least 1970, when the U.S. Supreme Court found its solitary confinement practices unconstitutional. Inmates lived in a “dark and evil world,” Justice John Paul Stevens wrote in 1978, the year Clinton was first elected as governor. At the same time, a federal judge referred to the influence of “evil men” in authority in the prison system.

The plasma program began in the 1960s as a way for inmates and the prison system to make extra money. Dr. Francis “Bud” Henderson, a Pine Bluff pediatrician, formed Health Education Consultants in 1972, which became HMA in 1978 when the company entered the prison plasma business. At that time, Henderson persuaded John Byus, the prison system’s medical director, that HMA needed to run both the medical and the plasma programs. Arkansas became the only state to have a private agency running its prison medical program.

Byus and Henderson say the motive for the plasma program was two-fold: The inmates needed money to buy gum and toiletries, and the destitute prison system needed medical equipment. Arkansas is also one of the only states that refuses to pay prisoners for their labor. Each unit of plasma was sold by HMA, which was running the program under the prison’s FDA license, for at least $50, and half was handed over to the prison system. With hundreds of prisoners donating once, sometimes twice a week, plasma became a profitable enterprise.

But Mike Galster, who worked at Cummins as a medical practitioner between 1979 and 1983, calls the prison plasma program “a crime against humanity.” Galster grew up in Pine Bluff, a small Southern city swirling in secrets, where business deals were often finalized in either the stately country club or a shady nightclub called Nina’s Penthouse, which burned down years ago. His father was a state trooper, and Galster knew HMA’s Henderson as a youth, when he was the doctor to Galster’s junior high school football team.

The plasma program always bothered Galster. “I could see [prisoners] were being given illegal narcotics — several indicated that this was how they were being paid for their plasma,” he recalled. State investigations later confirmed this allegation, though the prison claimed it cracked down on illegal dispensation of pharmaceuticals. Galster says he saw inmates who “appeared jaundiced and very sick. When I would ask if they had just had a blood test, they would say, ‘No, I’ve just given plasma.’ It was clear they were sick.”

But while he knew the prison had problems, Galster never imagined that tainted plasma would find its way into the blood supply of other countries. “I assumed, stupidly, that our people selling this plasma had some process of cleaning it up,” Galster says.

Prisoners say they weren’t adequately screened for disease. “The prison program they had was pretty shoddy,” says John Schock, a burly ex-con with an assortment of tattoos who regularly gave blood at Cummins. “They had inmates doing things they shouldn’t have been doing. They would let people who was sick bleed … ain’t no telling what they had. They didn’t check all the time.”

Sitting in a lawn chair in a lower-class North Little Rock neighborhood, Schock resembles a bloated, jaundiced Robin Williams with facial hair. He lifts up his blue shirt and shows the jagged triangle of raised flesh — a liver transplant scar — stretching across his protruding belly. Since his release, doctors have told him a dirty needle from the plasma program could have infected him with hepatitis C, the disease that cost him his liver. He isn’t surprised.

“I am damn sure I got it (hepatitis C) in the prison,” Schock says. “I didn’t have it before I went in. I have never had needles stuck in my arm that wasn’t suppose to be there. I have never interacted with homosexuals. I love women too much. I didn’t get it those ways.” Hepatitis C often leads to liver failure, requiring a transplant. Victims suffer chronic fatigue and illness and are frequently unable to work.

Schock says he gave blood at Cummins for nearly two years and was only sporadically checked for hepatitis. Finally, after he’d gone a month between tests and had given blood at least weekly, he was tested again, and prison doctors discovered hepatitis. A doctor looked at Schock, told him his eyes weren’t yellow, and he didn’t look too bad. “He said, ‘If you start feeling bad, come back and see me,’” Schock says. “That’s just the way they were. They don’t care because you are dirt down there anyway.”

Most prison plasma programs shut down in the early 1980s, when the FDA and the Centers for Disease Control alerted the public about AIDS. In December 1982, the FDA asked companies that made blood products not to purchase prison plasma, since many inmates have either injected drugs or engaged in homosexual acts, making them high risk for AIDS. The large pharmaceutical companies that were buying from Cummins stopped buying inmates’ plasma, a once-valuable commodity because of the large volumes produced each week.

But AIDS didn’t scare Henderson. “There was a mentality that we didn’t have any AIDS in the central part of the country. The department (of corrections) said for years we didn’t have any AIDS cases. There was a subconsciousness that we just didn’t want to think we had those people around us.” Still, Henderson would later tell police investigators, “Historically, this [was] the worse possible time to [sell plasma]. I called all over the world and finally got one group in Canada who would take the contract.” That group was Continental Pharma Cryosan Ltd., the biggest blood broker in Canada.

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In 1983, the FDA initiated an international recall of plasma that might have been tainted with hepatitis B, which can also be an indicator of HIV infection. Several prisoners who had previously tested positive for hepatitis B were allowed to donate blood at Cummins, and the tainted units had been sold by HMA to Cryosan. Cryosan in turn sold the plasma to corporations in Switzerland, Spain, Japan and Italy, as well as to Toronto-based Connaught Laboratories, which pooled the plasma with other blood products needed by hemophiliacs to make their blood clot, and sold the blood throughout Canada.

It was only then, during the crisis over the recall, that the Canadians learned they were buying plasma collected from prison inmates. “The shipping papers accompanying the plasma had not revealed that the centre was located in a prison,” the Krever commission report revealed. “They had simply referred to the source as the ‘ADC Plasma Center, Grady, Arkansas,’ without any indication that ‘ADC’ stood for ‘Arkansas Department of Corrections.’”

After that screening lapse, the FDA shut down the plasma program for several months. During the shutdown, it was discovered that an inmate clerk in the plasma center had been selling the “right to bleed” to fellow inmates who otherwise would have been excluded because they were likely infected with hepatitis B.

In 1984, the FDA found that Health Management Associates had prematurely and improperly distributed plasma contaminated with hepatitis. Twelve ineligible donors had given blood in a breach of screening processes, and an international recall resulted. The FDA then revoked the center’s license to operate. An investigation revealed that the program allowed disqualified donors to bleed, altered records and stored plasma in ways that didn’t prevent contamination. It also found that plasma center staff wasn’t well-supervised, and discovered attempts by people in HMA “management positions” at the center to hide from FDA inspectors the fact that they had either “initiated or condoned the destruction or alteration of records concerning these activities.”

Within months, after promising to clean up its act, HMA applied for a new license. Henderson and Byus blamed the recall on a corrupt inmate clerk who’d been paid off by potentially infected donors. The inmate was removed, and some employees were fired. The program continued for “the good of the inmates,” Henderson says. “The prison needed money, too, you have to understand.” HMA got its license approved again.

But the plasma program wasn’t the only source of scandal within the Arkansas prison system. In 1985 inmates began complaining loudly about prison medical care and rights abuses, including rape. That year Arkansas prisons had the highest number of inmate complaints of any state in the country. State Rep. Bobby Glover, a Democrat, became a champion for prisoners with stories of abuse. His office collected a raft of allegations, ranging from rape and other forms of abuse to bid rigging, theft of state property and the use of state property for private work and gambling.

Glover pushed for answers, and eventually the Arkansas Board of Corrections hired the independent Institute for Law and Policy Planning in Berkeley, Calif., to conduct an investigation of HMA. Fifteen days after that announcement, Gov. Clinton ordered the state police to investigate reports of criminal conduct within the prison system. The results of these two inquiries would offer a case study of the difference in the way Arkansas insiders and independent evaluators viewed the prison system’s problems.

The state police prison investigation resulted in two misdemeanor charges and one felony charge for employees running a gambling operation. Only a few weeks into it, Clinton himself urged a speedy end to the probe. “I told them to get it done and get it over with,” Clinton told reporters. Complaints about poor health care and the plasma program resulted in no action, and Arkansas Department of Corrections director Art Lockhart, who had been at the center of the allegations, was not punished. Clinton said the prison system had been “studied to death” and refused to oust Lockhart.

But investigators with the Institute for Law and Policy Planning reached very different conclusions. ILPP executive director Dr. Alan Kalmanoff highlighted 40 areas where HMA violated its state contract, including a conflict of interest in HMA’s operating both the medical department and plasma program. The report showed that HMA and the department of corrections had only recently developed procedures for handling AIDS cases, and were “only then developing a refined approach to AIDS screening and testing.”

The report also charged that HMA had failed to meet many significant professional standards. It had hired a large number of unlicensed, uncertified or legally unqualified medical staff. Tuberculosis was rampant in the prison. Eight inmate deaths were reviewed, and while the report said that the deaths probably could not have been prevented, it did note that “regular health assessment” and “complete” record-keeping had not occurred. And HMA director Henderson had not been spending the hours that he should on the medical program, the report alleged.

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The Arkansas Board of Corrections, run by a Clinton appointee, was repeatedly informed of problems with the prison medical program, including the plasma business. But it continued to return the contracts to HMA, despite other bidders.

How did HMA hold on to the contracts, despite the repeated scandals? It had the help of many high-profile Arkansans, including Leonard Dunn, who became HMA’s president. Dunn, a Pine Bluff banker, has deep roots in Arkansas politics. He worked closely with Arkansas political legends, including former U.S. Sen. David Pryor and Clinton. In fact, Dunn was a senior member of Clinton’s 1990 gubernatorial reelection team. While in the financial business, Dunn worked at several banks in Pine Bluff and Hot Springs, which served as HMA’s lenders. In 1990, he purchased Jim McDougal’s Madison Guaranty Savings and Loan, the notorious S&L whose involvement in an obscure land deal led to an investigation that culminated in President Clinton’s impeachment.

In recent interviews, Dunn has downplayed his role in HMA. Twelve years ago, he didn’t. In the state police investigation, an investigator wrote that Dunn “advised that he had been a former member of the State Claims Commission under Governor Pryor and that he was close to Governor Clinton as well as the majority of state politicians presently in office. Mr. Dunn explained that he was very fond of politics.” Dunn added that he was “the financial portion of the corporation as well as the political arm.” But in a recent interview, Dunn insisted, “I never took an active role in the company on a day to day operational basis.”

Yet Dunn took the lead in negotiating with state officials to get HMA’s contract renewed in 1985. One unique feature of that negotiation was the decision to hire an “ombudsman,” or compliance coordinator, to smooth problems between HMA and the state. During the state police investigation, however, the ombudsman contract was repeatedly described as a “bribe.” Arkansas Board of Corrections Chairman Woodson Walker told investigators that the ombudsman was his idea. “The governor [Clinton] was deeply concerned with HMA’s past performance,” Walker told investigators, and Clinton said “that I would be held personally responsible for the performance of whatever medical provider was chosen.” Woodson recommended renewing HMA’s contract, but with an ombudsman position added as a “safeguard” to ensure HMA’s good performance.

Both Walker and Clinton suggested HMA hire Richard Mays, an Arkansas lawyer and Clinton-appointed judge, HMA president Dunn told investigators. “Dunn stated that Walker advised him that Mays was black (a plus in a system where most of the inmates are black), had good qualifications and was an outstanding attorney,” according to investigators’ notes.

Mays is no stranger to Clinton scandals. He was accused of trying to quash the federal case against David Hale, Kenneth Starr’s key Whitewater informant whose personal credibility has been repeatedly challenged. Mays is also credited with leveraging Little Rock restaurateur-turned-international businessman Charlie Trie’s first $100,000 donation to Clinton’s 1992 presidential campaign. Trie, whose Chinese and Indonesian connections have been the subject of controversy and investigation, has been a conduit for several controversial donations to the Democratic National Committee.

Mays’ ties to Clinton continued in Washington. A former finance vice chairman of the DNC, Mays and his wife, Jennifer, stayed in the Lincoln Bedroom and attended White House state dinners. Mays did not return repeated calls from Salon about this story.

Dunn told investigators that HMA hired Mays for a two-year contract of $25,000. But during the investigation, no contract could ever be found, and the ombudsman position was considered by many within the prison system as a bribe. When asked about Mays’ contract, prison Health Services Administrator Sam Jordison “appeared to be quite uncomfortable,” investigators wrote. Jordison didn’t call the Mays contract a bribe, but he did say, “I’ve talked to Mr. Mays on two or three occasions, and I never really knew what the hell he wanted. I do feel there was something here between Mr. Walker, Mr. Mays and HMA.”

Henderson disputed that. He admitted to investigators that he “agreed to include the ombudsman so as not to endanger the continuing contract.” In fact, the only work Henderson recalls Mays doing was helping create an affirmative action program and an employee handbook — although affirmative action issues had not been at the center of allegations against HMA.

“[Mays] has met with us on three or four occasions and has mediated in some problem areas we have had,” Henderson told investigators. “For a person who I would really not have hired on my own, Mr. Mays had been an asset in the overall operation of HMA.” Ultimately, however, investigators were never able to find the contract that detailed Mays’ official duties, or any record of how much money he received. But whatever Mays’ official duties, hiring an ombudsman got HMA the contract, once again.

Not for long, however. The critical report by ILPP eventually drew blood. HMA was placed on probation following the report’s release, and a few months later, the firm lost its contract to provide prison health care. HMA dissolved in 1986. Henderson says he wanted out of the plasma business. “It was getting too difficult to sell,” he says. He still lives in Arkansas and works for a company that provides medical care in several Pennsylvania prisons.

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The plasma contract then went to Pine Bluff Biologicals, which took over the program and even expanded it, opening bleed units at the Wrightsville unit and the Diagnostic Unit — the prison’s hospital. “There is this whole thing about the high-risk population. I disagree with that. There’s no scientific proof to that,” says Jimmy Lord, former owner of Pine Bluff Biologicals.

Lord insists he had no connections with scandal-tainted HMA. “I never worked for HMA. I never had anything to do with HMA,” Lord says adamantly. “That center was shut down under HMA, and the center pulled some strings. Somehow they got it reinstated. I know how, but I wouldn’t say. Good Old Boy Network.” But documents show that in the early 1980s Lord did have connections with HMA, which shipped blood in the same trucks as Pine Bluff Biologicals. And Lord admits to selling blood to HMA.

“Yeah, I sold some street [non-prison] blood to him. There was an overabundance of Type O one year,” Lord says. “Instead of me cutting my donors off and losing them, I found an outlet through HMA. That was before they got in trouble. I had a good friend who worked for them, and he made sure I got paid. It was always a shaky thing dealing with them.”

Problems continued in Lord’s plasma program. In 1988, the red blood cells of one inmate were accidentally infused into the wrong person, the Arkansas Times reported. The next year, an FDA inspector said the center had inadequate control over screening new donors to prove they were not on a permanent reject list. Record keeping was also inadequate. As for AIDS, Lord says that it wasn’t a big concern in Arkansas — he thought it was an issue in places like New York and California — when he was running the program. “If anyone got caught in a homosexual act, we took them off the roster,” Lord says.

Prison system administrators never wanted to shut down the program. In 1991, Byus told a local reporter: “We plan to stick with it to the last day, to the last drop we’re able to sell.” That year, a group from New York took over the plasma program from Pine Bluff Biologicals.

In 1992, a new series of state police investigations into the system resulted in department of corrections director Lockhart’s resignation, after a barrage of allegations, including nepotism in the plasma program. He was found to have asked Lord to hire Lockhart’s son to work in the plasma program. A Little Rock grand jury charged Lockhart with four counts of mail fraud, but he turned state’s evidence, testified against then-state Rep. Lloyd George and was not convicted.

Prison medical director Byus, who still works for the system, stated in a police interview that Lockhart showed “an inordinate amount of concern for the success of Pine Bluff Biological in their plasma unit program,” and would even have security officers “recruit” inmates to give plasma. Byus said that Lockhart “was interested in seeing large numbers of inmates participate in the program.”

Finally, in 1994, the plasma program ended.

But Mike Galster, the medical practitioner, never forgot the grim images he witnessed in those years. Galster used the pseudonym Michael Sullivan to write “Blood Trail,” a thinly veiled fictional account of tainted blood in the Arkansas prison system. In Canada, the book has become a bestseller and fueled more investigations into Cummins. “In so many ways it reminds you of Nazi Germany,” Galster says. “If it had been the typical Arkansas scam, where we are talking about pigs, tractors, even land, that would be one thing. These guys had the power over a captive audience to make money from human beings.”

Galster left HMA in 1983 after he rejected a typical Arkansas ploy — a demand by an HMA associate that he kick back part of his earnings. “The way Arkansas works is that once you are working within the system, the people in charge make it clear that it is a privilege to have that state contract,” Galster says. “Ultimately, you are expected to pay for that privilege.”

“This I know,” Galster continues. “Without the governor’s support and protection, this disease-riddled system would have been shut down by 1982.”

In Canada, Michael McCarthy, a hepatitis C sufferer from Stratford, Ontario, is understandably bitter. “I think it is devastating to the victims of the blood disaster in Canada,” says McCarthy, who is married with one child and can no longer work thanks to third stage liver failure. “It shows it wasn’t God that was running the blood system. It was people who were making bad decisions based on money.”

Look away, Dildo Land

The author of "Sex in the South" whoops it up at a sex-toy sales meeting in Arkansas.

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Look away, Dildo Land

Editor’s Note: Suzi Parker is a journalist who lives in Little Rock, Arkansas. She’s been working on the book “Sex in the South” for about five years, looking for the most compelling, unusual stories that would make up what she calls “one girl’s whirlwind tour though the sexual South, rather than a dry, academic study.”

She found a lot of the stories in her native state, but after doing research she found that a whole sex underground network existed in the South — even though the outward image of that part of the country is socially conservative. Mostly it’s religion that defines the region. “We’re a region that is absolutely dominated by religion,” says Parker. “It’s not uncommon to find a town with more churches than liquor stores. In such an overtly religious region, folks naturally develop split public versus private personalities when it comes to sex … that kind of repression leads to some serious pressure building up, a pressure that gets released in some unusual, creative ways.”

This excerpt is from the first chapter of “Sex in the South” and it’s definitely about pressure being released.

“Dildo-a-rama”
Vacuums and Vibrators

MAUMELLE, ARKANSAS — It’s hard to focus on the Scriptures when you are thinking about the EZ pleaser.

Only in the South would a girl like me go to church on Sunday morning, attend the monthly Methodist potluck after the preaching, and then show up a few hours later at a local hotel to learn the art of selling sex toys to housewives. But after all, this is Arkansas, the land of split personalities, where nobody is ever what they seem.

I gobble down the last bit of Jell-O salad, a frothy green concoction of whipped cream, lime gelatin and pineapples, on my paper plate at the potluck before saying my good-byes. I don’t bother to tell my friends my afternoon agenda — that I am headed to a sex toy sales meeting at a Ramada Inn.

The motel sits perched on a hill between a chain-owned Mexican restaurant with oversized floppy sombreros on the fiesta-bright walls and a chain-owned Chinese restaurant with jumbo glittery goldfish in a man-made stone pond. I walk into the mauve and beige lobby, and before I even approach the front desk to ask where the sex toy mavens are meeting, a stern-faced man points down a hall. He obviously knows what I am looking for on a Sunday afternoon — jiggly, wiggly sex toys.

In a small conference room, a group of women — who clearly enjoy shopping at Wal-Mart and prefer casseroles to Donna Karan and personal trainers — bubble with giddy electricity. This afternoon isn’t about 12-inch dildos, fuzzy lavender handcuffs for light S/M, or even vivid violet vibrators. No, it’s all about introducing these modern-day sales folk to a new product: Pure Satisfaction.

Pat Davis, the president of Passion Parties in Brisbane, California, has flown in for this seminar. This, I soon learn, is a big damn deal. She was formerly a motivational speaker at San Diego’s Millionaires in Motion before she found a home at Passion Parties. It’s not every day the common housewife or beauty operator who sells sex toys on the weekend meets Pat Davis, a brassy woman who tells the crowd she’s been married for more than 30 years and a little romance and hoochie-coo never hurt anyone.

It’s no surprise that the president of the company would embark on a tour of the South. It’s the best-selling area in the country for sex toys. And Passion Parties, hosted by perky Passion Party hostesses (think 1970s Tupperware parties but with rubber penises instead of plastic ice trays) are all the rage in small towns across the region. There’s nothing like a bunch of women getting together on a Friday night and giggling naughtily about a piece of rubber in the shape of a dick. Unless, that is, it’s on Wednesday night. That’s when husbands think their wives are at choir practice at the Southern Baptist church, but then they come home with edible undies and a love swing under their arm instead of the Bible.

The women in this cozy conference room range in age from a bashful 22 year old to 60-plus. Some are married, some single.

“Have you tried it?” a Big Gulp-sipping woman beside me asks me point-blank.

I shake my head no. Last time I tried such a sexual aid I got into serious hot water. I prefer to go the natural route now, and if a screaming banshee orgasm fails to happen, so be it. I’ll play it safe for a while.

Oh, honey, you’ve got to try it. Make her give you a sample.”

I smile and nod. Yeah, sure thing.

Here’s how the Passion Party catalog describes Pure Satisfaction UniSEX Enhancement Gel: “An exclusive UniSEX gel for enhanced sexual satisfaction in high demand by today’s men and women. Passion Parties is the first to present a safe and natural topical Unisex gel that induces more intense orgasms in both sexes, allows for greater intimacy and maximum sexual fulfillment.” You get the picture.

Just in case I didn’t get the picture from that description — written by an established romance writer who shall remain nameless (something tells me it’s not Danielle Steele) — some of the women in the room decide to give testimonials. Just like church: Time to testify!

“I’ve always had a fantasy about having an orgasm so intense that I pass out,” says a woman in her thirties with curly brown hair.

Damn! I think, suddenly picturing this housewife starring in a snuff film.

“My husband and I applied it to my clit and to the head of his penis. Then you feel it. It’s tingling, burning, on fire. He slid into me and banged me until I had the orgasm of my life.”

The woman gasps and sweat pops out on her face. Her eyes glisten at the torrid memory. I’ll have what she’s having, I think to myself.

“But that wasn’t enough so I made him go again, and I came again.”

Oh, yeah! I’ll definitely have what she’s having.

“Then, he just couldn’t go anymore but I could. So that’s when we got out the sex toys.”

Perk! Definitely want me some of that.

“And I came so hard when he kept pushing the sex toy in and out that I passed out. I was gone. I think it scared my husband, but I came to after a few minutes.”

Hmmm, not so sure I want what she’s having after all. I’m not ready to quasi-meet my maker following a screaming O. But everyone else seems receptive and claps loudly. I’m reminded of an old-time riverbank revival: same passion, different scripture.

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Get your laws off my coffin!

The funeral industry dukes it out with independent casket dealers as Americans redefine the way they deal with death.

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Get your laws off my coffin!

Bucky Sanders’ casket store in Hot Springs, Ark., sits near a railroad track and, appropriately enough, two cemeteries. His small shop looks more like a used auto parts store than a place where bereaved families go, but Sanders isn’t trying to affect the somber formality of a funeral home. All he’s selling are coffins.

Sanders has a clear and simple mission: to sell caskets cheap. He’ll sell you a coffin with cherubs on the corners and the Lord’s Supper on its handles for $1,800. That’s half what a funeral home charges, and if you can’t pay for it outright, that’s fine with Sanders, who worked for 43 years at a local funeral home.

“Funeral homes demand the money on the spot,” says Sanders in his Southern drawl. “A lot of people just don’t have the money. I try to work with them. I think this would be pleasing to the good Lord.”

Sanders buys his caskets from a company in Houston. At any one time, he has 12 to 15 of them in stock with price tags that range from $950 to $2,000, including free delivery to anywhere in Arkansas. Business is good, but pressure from funeral companies is a constant thorn in his side. It’s not uncommon for Sanders to get an anxious call from a customer whose funeral home has refused to use a casket from Sanders’ store. What the home is doing is against the law, Sanders tells the customer, and, in Arkansas at least, he’s right.

Twenty years ago, the only way to get a casket or cremation urn was through a funeral home. Without competition, funeral directors marked up caskets as much as 700 percent, including in that lump sum the costs of the hearse, embalming, the wake and other items.

In 1984, the Federal Trade Commission forced change on the industry, requiring, among other things, that funeral homes itemize their charges. This aspect of the new regulations turned out to be a boon for funeral home directors: Instead of including multiple services in the single casket fee, businesses simply left the inflated casket prices as they were and tacked on additional charges. Subsequently, funeral costs grew 5 to 7 percent a year.

The 1984 rules also required that casket prices, manufacturers’ names and model numbers be made available, and allowed independent casket dealers to get in on the market by supplying caskets directly to consumers. But in many parts of the country, that legislation remained toothless as long as states were permitted to limit the sales.

As family-owned funeral homes, once a staple of small-town life, give way to large corporations like Service Corporation International (whose allegedly unsavory dealings with Gov. George W. Bush were reported in Salon), Americans are pursuing other methods of dealing with their dead. Thanks in part to Jessica Mitford’s landmark 1963 book “The American Way of Death” and its 1998 sequel, they’re growing savvier to the ways of the funeral industry and challenging long-established practices.

While independent casket dealers move in on a long-protected market, families are building or designing their own caskets; they’re cremating the deceased in growing numbers and burying people in “eco-burial” grounds. Baby boomers are planning their funerals as they do their lifestyles with alternative and creative choices — designer caskets, homemade cremation urns and funky funeral services with rock ‘n’ roll replacing traditional religious hymns.

And as Sanders and other independent dealers fight for the right to sell their caskets to anyone who wants them, the last vestiges of the funeral industry’s monopoly on the way we die are slowly being wiped away.

“I get sick of seeing people being ripped off,” says Rick Dancy of Meridian, Miss., who recently earned the distinction of being the first man in the United States to be imprisoned for selling caskets from an independent dealership. A court later found the arrest unconstitutional, and Dancy continues to sell the caskets that he buys from Casket Royale, a New Hampshire wholesaler that has dealers in 44 states.

“There’s no sense in people having to pay double for a casket just so the funeral homes can make a good profit. A casket store puts the power back to the people,” Dancy says.

In effect, Dancy, Sanders and other independent casket dealers are reversing the consolidation of the funeral industry that took place over the past century or so.

The tradition of the funeral home dates back to the Civil War, when soldiers’ bodies were embalmed before undergoing the long transport back home to their families. Initially, this task belonged to the coffin maker, often a local furniture dealer who took on the job of preparing a body for burial. As Americans began to cluster in urban centers and move into smaller apartments, it became necessary to find surrogate “homes” in which to hold wakes. Thus funeral homes were established, soon becoming single-stop outlets for funeral services — embalming, viewing, hearse, flowers, casket.

For much of the century, the funeral industry faced little competition. The death of a lover or family member proved enough of a preoccupation to keep families from shopping around or demanding alternatives to the options funeral homes gave them. Even today funeral homes exploit families’ grief to extract high fees. According to Lisa Carlson, president of Funeral and Memorial Societies of America, the cheapest casket on the market is a $150 cloth-covered particleboard box that many funeral homes resell in the $695-$895 range. Funeral directors, when telling families about their options, commonly call this the “welfare box,” effectively shaming families into buying a pricier model.

Over the past few years states have slowly opened up the market to independent casket dealers. Today, only six states — Louisiana, Alabama, Idaho, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Virginia — prohibit casket sales by independent dealers.

In November, Mississippi was crossed off that list when a federal judge struck down the law that had allowed casket sales only by licensed funeral directors. The state had argued that its law addressed health concerns because human remains need to be buried quickly. But the judge rejected that claim, saying he was skeptical that “possible ignorance or incompetence of an unlicensed dealer would delay burial, as such a dealer is selling what amounts to be a glorified box.”

The casket war has also hit South Carolina, where a judge recently struck down the requirement that casket dealers have embalming rooms, chapels and hearses. To sell caskets, however, a person must still be a licensed funeral director. And in August, a federal judge ruled that Tennessee’s funeral director law violated the 14th Amendment’s protection from arbitrary regulation.

A federal court also recently tossed out a Georgia law prohibiting casket sales by any entity other than a funeral home, calling the law a blatant restraint of trade. In a desperate attempt to keep its regulations alive, the state argued that allowing independent casket dealers to engage in a price war would “promote the criminal element” — in other words, that the easy availability of caskets would encourage murder.

The country’s traditional coffin makers — Batesville Casket Co. and Aurora Casket Co., both of Indiana — still sell wholesale only to licensed funeral directors. Casket Royale has grown to be the world’s largest provider of caskets to third-party funeral merchandisers — and is a major force behind moves to open up independent casket sales in the South. The company currently services independently owned and operated retail funeral stores; it also sells directly to the public.

“We sell at least one a day to consumers,” said Mark Ginsberg, president of Casket Royale, which likes to tout itself as the Wal-Mart of the funeral industry. “We advertise on TV about 60 times a day. People are tired of being dictated to by the funeral industry.”

These days, more bereaved families are becoming savvy about funeral services — saving hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars when they shop to compare prices.

The National Funeral Directors Association reports that the average amount spent in 1999 for a funeral was $5,778.16, with $2,176.46 of that going toward the casket and $1,000 for cemetery charges. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ consumer expenditure survey, funeral spending is on the decline, dropping an average of 7 percent annually since the mid-1980s. Some industry experts say the high cost of dying is why cremation is on the rise nationwide, even in the South, where traditional burial is usually preferred.

The development of an independent casket industry is part of a larger movement of families playing a bigger role in their loved ones’ deaths.

“This is the same generation that reinvented natural birth in the delivery room,” says Carlson of Funeral and Memorial Societies of America. “I think we will see more boomers changing the way funerals are handled and see more people having at-home funerals.”

As Arnold Goodman, a Minnesota rabbi, wrote in his 1970s book “A Plain Pine Box,” the practice of surrendering our dead to funeral homes has taken us far from the intimate experience of death that was once a part of living. “Customs of the past, which required families to wash and prepare their dead ones for burial or cremation, for the construction of the casket and shroud, the choice of which families and friends would assume responsibility for preparing the dead for burial, for making arrangements with — and for — the family for fabricating coffins and burial garments, have all but disappeared.”

When Stacy Black and Jeff Esley’s father was diagnosed with terminal cancer, they decided that his funeral should be in keeping with the way he lived life, and not take place in the decorous anonymity of a funeral home.

Esley, who is a master woodworker, built his father a casket modeled after one he’d seen in the old western movies his father loved. Black made the satin lining for the casket; an aunt made the pillow. It was a way of keeping their father’s death in the family. Black says, “It was something truly from the heart.” Since then, Esley has received calls about making caskets for other people.

New traditions are arising all across the country. Ramsey Creek Reserve offers burial sites for biodegradable caskets, and forbids gravestones or plastic flowers in a burial that costs about half the cost of a traditional funeral home burial. The Funeral Consumers Alliance directs visitors to organizations that supply all the components of a make-it-yourself casket.

Or, for those for whom “individualizing” death means expression, not austerity or environmentalism, there’s Whitelight Casket Co. in Texas. Whitelight has created “Art Caskets” that feature religious and ethnic themes, scenic landscapes, vocational and lifestyle images and symbols of patriotic pride and nationality. Designs include a rosary, breast cancer and AIDS awareness ribbons, an ocean beach, New York, the flag of Ireland, Our Lady of Guadalupe, clouds, the Last Supper and a lighthouse.

Sanders says that the movement toward independent casket dealerships is just a matter of fairness. He says that in his years in the funeral business, he saw too many families struggle to try to buy their beloved a decent funeral. When he retired, he wanted to do something to counter the industry that had fed his family for many years.

“People should have a choice,” he says. “I don’t know how funeral home directors sleep at night knowing they are ripping off people the way they are.”

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Betting on Hillary

A Web site lets you actually invest in -- and profit off -- the candidates of your choice.

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When New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani announced last week that he had prostate cancer, his political stock dropped. Yes, literally. And yes, people lost real money.

Before Giuliani’s press conference Thursday morning, Rudy stock was trading at 50 cents on the Iowa Electronic Markets, run by the University of Iowa’s Henry B. Tippie College of Business. After his announcement at 10:05 a.m., buyers started selling.

By 10:20 a.m., his price had plummeted to 10 cents — the lowest price possible. By noon, the stock had crept back up to around 30 cents, where it stayed all weekend, and seems to be holding.

The markets started in 1988 as an academic experiment by three Iowa professors who looked at Jesse Jackson’s presidential race in Michigan and realized his primary win had never been predicted in the polls. The trio decided to set up a system that would create a better, more accurate predictive model — and tried to lure people to log on, invest in politicians and maybe make a little money.

It’s certainly an idea that seems inevitable. With corporate money funding politics, why not just turn the races over and let the market decide who will lead? And, of course, what more logical incentive is there to become involved in politics in these boom times than the promise of profiting off of politicians?

The people who run Iowa Electronic Markets even like to boast that they often predict winners — and losers — more accurately than popular opinion polls. In the 1996 presidential election, the markets came within two-tenths of Clinton’s win of the popular vote (Clinton over Dole, 49.24 to 40.71 percent). That was also the year the markets had a record number of investors — 8,000.

That’s not enough people, of course, to create a market big enough to make anyone rich. Each trader is limited to spending $500. But the odds are both obvious and, to the idle political junkie, somewhat attractive. If you bought $500 worth of Hillary stock on Tuesday, when she was trading at 50 cents, you make out with $500 in November when she wins. If you bought stock in Rudy instead (30 cents), you could make $700 if he becomes senator.

The hottest stock this year, of course, already soared and went bust: John McCain. Mitch Wiegner, a trader in Chicago, made about $15 on McCain. “I made it before the South Carolina debacle. A friend is a CNN junkie and he said, ‘Get out,’” says Wiegner. So he sold. Now, he is looking at the Giuliani/Clinton race as a possible investment.

“That one is getting really interesting,” says Wiegner. “I’m going to have to look at it closely.”

Unlike Wall Street, volume is relatively low, allowing a small number of players to manipulate the prices. There’s also no way — yet — to force losers to pay up; traders now only make promises to pay before they get to play.

But that’s likely to change as the market grows. So far this election cycle, almost 6,000 traders have invested $125,000 — placing their money on myriad politicians and races, including George W. Bush, Al Gore, Reform Party candidates and even the 2000 Mexican election. There’s a special market that trades over who will control Congress. (Traders are betting on a Democratic House and a Republican Senate at 51 cents a share.)

George Neumann, a professor of economics at the university and a founder of the markets, says that they can tell that the Web site receives visits almost daily from the White House, as well as from the Clinton and Giuliani campaigns.

Gore spokesman Chris Lehane, who has often said that “some candidates are blue-chip candidates; others are like junk bonds,” should be happy to know that his candidate is 4 cents ahead of Bush as of Tuesday afternoon. But it’s the Senate race in New York that has continued as the most volatile and certainly the most interesting.

Giuliani campaign spokeswoman Juleanna Glover Weiss says, “It’s certainly an entertaining phenomenon to watch. But in term of the viability of candidates, it’s simply a reflection of the conventional wisdom. I think it’s something that’s viewed more out of curiosity than any sort of serious attention.”

Then Weiss asked how Giuliani and the first lady were trading in the markets. When told the current stock quotes, she replied: “Let’s put it this way, there is no studied attention by this campaign to that phenomenon.”

That’s certainly easy to say when your man’s stock is tanking.

And Giuliani’s dive certainly reveals the coldhearted aspect of the market. In fact, the last time the markets saw such a severe dive over a candidate announcement was when it was reported that Bill Bradley had an irregular heartbeat.

“It’s much like what we saw when Bradley announced he had a heart problem,” says Jeanine Pfuntner, operations manager of the Iowa Electronic Markets. At the time, Bradley’s stock fell from 23 cents to 13 cents and, obviously, never really recovered.

Says Pfuntner: “If people think if you are going to die, they don’t want to elect you.”

And they certainly won’t invest in you.

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We are family

Not only is George W. Bush related to 16 American presidents, but he's kin to half the country, too.

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It’s hardly a secret that George W. Bush has an impressive family tree. His father was president; his grandfather, Prescott Bush, was a U.S. senator from Connecticut; and his brother Jeb is governor of Florida.

But the Republican candidate for president has a richer political pedigree than the immediate family that gathers for Christmas dinners and birthday celebrations. They are, in fact, related to 16 U.S. presidents, a slew of British monarchs and even the American Indian princess Pocahontas.

Gary Boyd Roberts, a prominent genealogist at the New England Historic Genealogical Society, documented the remarkable Bush lineage in his little-noticed book “Ancestors of American Presidents,” published in 1995. According to Roberts, the list consists of George Washington, Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James Garfield, Grover Cleveland, Teddy Roosevelt, William Howard Taft, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford and George H. W. Bush.

Asked to comment on his remarkable family heritage, Bush issued a statement to Salon through his campaign on Thursday: “As Lincoln reminded the American people, even though he did not know much about who his grandfather was, he was much more concerned with who his grandson would become. While the past is important, we must always look to the future. In particular, I am proud of my father’s service to the country. He has set a great example of serving with honor. I hope to build on his legacy and the legacy of other presidents by providing America with a new style of leadership and a fresh start for America in the 21st century.”

Bush’s extensive lineage dates back to ancestors who arrived here on the Mayflower in 1620, Roberts found. His connection to Pocahontas, the Indian princess who married John Rolfe (the first colonist to grow tobacco as a crop) is through a Bush ancestor who married the couple’s only American great-grandchild.

Bush is also a descendant of Dr. Samuel Prescott, who completed Paul Revere’s Midnight Ride in 1775. And through Rev. John Lathrop, a non-conformist and founder of Barnstable, Mass., the Bushes are related to Grant and FDR.

Howard Howland, a Mayflower passenger who died in 1673, had two children, and the direct lines from them through the years lead to four presidents — FDR, Nixon, Ford and Bush.

Another Mayflower passenger, Thomas Mitchell of Holland, also had two children. Through them, George W. can trace his roots to the late Princess Diana and her two children Princes William and Harry. Taft, the 27th president, also comes from this lineage.

Many assume George W. Bush is also related to Franklin Pierce, the 14th president, through Barbara Bush, whose maiden name was Pierce. But the Bushes are related to Pierce though Daniel Brewer, who died in 1646, yielding a lineage that leads to both Pierce and Hayes.

George W. also descends from Agnes (Yeomans) Wheeler. Genealogists call her the mother of presidents because she is the only American female who has had four descendants elected to the office — Garfield, Hoover, Ford and Bush.

While genealogist Roberts has extensively researched the Bush family tree, he has never been able to link the family to America’s original Bush — the first man with that surname known to arrive in America. When Bush’s father was president, the Bushes contacted Roberts about this matter. A small English village had written the White House about a man in their village during the 1500s named Bush and asked whether he was an ancestor of the president.

“I had to tell the White House that I was unsure if that was the case,” said Roberts.

Documentation in Roberts’ book also cites Bush’s relations to five kings — Henry I, Henry II, Robert II of Scotland, William I of Scotland and Edward I of England. But Bush certainly isn’t alone in his royal bloodlines. Sixteen presidents and 14 first ladies have been descended from European royalty.

In the 20th century, Bush’s family didn’t hobnob with kings, but they certainly mingled with presidents before taking over the White House themselves. Bush’s great-grandfather was a steel and railroad magnate who became a personal advisor to President Hoover, who was in fact a distant relative. Grandfather Prescott Bush, the Connecticut senator, was a favored golf partner of President Eisenhower (not a relative). Grandmother Dorothy Walker Bush’s father founded a Wall Street investment house and was a close advisor to FDR, another Bush relative.

George W. Bush spent his childhood between the Bush homes in New York, Long Island and Connecticut; the family compound at Kennebunkport, Maine; the 10,000-acre plantation in South Carolina; and the island retreat in Florida, where their neighbors were Doubledays, Fords, Roosevelts and Vanderbilts.

“He may have a lifestyle of a Texan, but George W. is a social register Greenwich boy,” says Roberts. Certainly, when it comes to American politics, there is a dynastic process at work here. It would appear that the political system often rewards the candidates who have DNA advantages in the form of a respected family name. Whether this tendency also serves to undermine the ideal of representative government open to all, however, is a matter for debate.

But wait.

George W. isn’t just related to 16 former presidents. It turns out, according to Roberts, that he is related, ever so distantly, to roughly half of the entire American population.

So if people vote along family lines this November, Bush should sweep to an impressive victory indeed.

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Deep in the heart of Clinton country

George W. Bush travels to Arkansas' Central High School to tout his education platform.

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href="/politics2000/directory/candidates/george_w_bush">Texas Gov. George W.
Bush treaded on President Clinton’s
home turf Friday, visiting Central High
School in Little Rock, Ark., a school
synonymous with the desegregation fights
of the 1950s and ’60s. But the
daylong, well-scripted affair seemed, at
times, sacrilegious and hypocritical
to many who wondered why the Texas
governor chose Central
High to tout his education reforms just
a month after visiting Bob
Jones University.

Central High School, the country’s most
powerful symbol for racial
integration, has historically been known
as Democratic territory. Bill and
Hillary Clinton attended the 40th
anniversary of the school’s integration
in
1997. Today, two-thirds of the school’s
students are African-American.

But for the Bush-led education
forum/photo-op Friday morning,
only a handful of teachers were invited
to attend the event
held in the school’s library, and just
three students, one of whom was
Gov. Mike Huckabee’s daughter, heard the
presidential candidate speak. The event
was vintage Bush, heading into territory
normally considered off-limits to
Republicans to send a vague message of
inclusiveness more symbolic than
substantive.

On a day when href="/politics2000/directory/candidates/al_gore">Vice President Al Gore
went back to school in Michigan to learn
about
education “from the people who are
actually doing the hands-on work” in his
words, Bush used the well-controlled
environment of Central as a theatrical
backdrop complete with Volume I and II
of “America” and a book about Texas
placed behind the candidate. In the
crowd were 45
special invited guests, including
Arkansas Sen. Tim Hutchinson, a graduate
of Bob Jones University.

“This is a place where African-Americans
confronted injustice,” said
Bush, “where white Americans confronted
their conscience, where the rule of
law ended the reign of segregation.”

These words were in biting contrast to
his controversial visit last month
to Bob Jones University, which until a
few weeks ago banned interracial
dating. Many saw his visit and speech
about race as deceiving, a ploy to use
Central High, like last week’s visit to
a Catholic church in Cleveland, as
another pawn to clean up the Bob Jones
mess that continues to dog Bush.

“Central High School is a symbol of many
things, including progressive
race relations,” said Vaughn McQuary,
chairman of the Democratic Party of
Arkansas. “For Gov. Bush to come to
Central High accompanied by a
graduate of Bob Jones University is an
unbelievably bad choice.”

In 1970, BJU gave up its federal
tax-exempt status rather than admit
black students.

Bush’s visit at Central High also
generated debate on his education
policies. Central High Principal Rudolph
Howard told Bush “public education
needs a lift up.” Bush interrupted the
principal, known throughout the state
as a man who rules Central with an iron
fist, and told him he shouldn’t fear
competition from charter schools.

“I’m sorry that you think I fear
anything,” snapped Howard. “If I feared
anything, I wouldn’t be at Central.”

Bush didn’t get off easy when Derrick
Williams, 18, Central
High’s student body president and a
member of the debate team, grilled him
about vouchers and charter schools.

“Public schools won’t be able to compete
with vouchers,” said Williams,
who hammered the idea that public
schools would fall behind if faced with
the
voucher and charter school programs.

Bush launched into his spiel about
meeting standards and taking education
to the local level. When finished,
Williams, who says he leans Democrat,
said, “May I rebut?” To that Bush
replied, “Sure, it’s your school,”
getting a good laugh from the crowd.

Despite a few lighthearted moments, Bush
insisted he would not be a
“federal superintendent” for the
country’s schools. He also said his
education policies are focused on
children, unlike Gore’s, which he says
are more concerned with “bricks and
mortar.” That signaled to Howard that
the $6.8 million needed for major
repairs — plumbing and
electrical wiring — as well as other
infrastructure needs would not be
granted
to the school, or any school, in federal
funds if Bush were elected president.

But Bush’s laser-focus on education, an
issue he is comfortable talking about
because he has grown familiar with the
issue as governor, appears to be paying
dividends. A new Pew Research Center
poll shows Bush holding a slight edge
over Gore when voters were asked which
candidate would “do the best job on
education.” Though clinging to a slim
44-41 percent lead, it is all the more
striking because education is typically
considered a “Democratic issue,” just as
national defense and tax cuts are
thought of as Republican issues.

Bush discovered friendlier turf a few
hours later as a host of wealthy
GOP-lovin’ Arkansans dished out $1,000
to attend a luncheon fund-raiser.

Bush pocketed $350,000 at the lovefest
that included Rep. Asa
Hutchinson, a possible attorney general
candidate in a Bush administration
and also a Bob Jones graduate; Sheffield
Nelson, one of Clinton’s worst
enemies, who has been accused of
masterminding schemes to topple the
Clinton
administration; Richard Bearden, a local
political consultant working on
Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s Senate campaign
and oil tycoon Madison Murphy, who heads
a
conservative commission to examine state
government.

Arkansas ranks 30th out of 53 states and
territories in fund raising for Bush.
Still,
the event earned Bush a hefty amount for
a state that only a few years ago
had little Republican power. It also
offered the chance for the Arkansas GOP
to take a few jabs at the Clinton-Gore
administration.

Playing on the Buddhist Temple joke that
Gore left the room when iced tea
was served, Huckabee said, “We wondered
whether to serve iced tea today. Just
remember where you were and that you
were at a fund-raiser.”

Bush shook hands, signed a GOP leather
jacket and fraternized before
giving his standard, slogan-ridden stump
speech — touting his compassionate
conservative reform results. At the
luncheon, he took only a few swipes at
Gore, but continued to try to link him
to the scandals of the Clinton White
House.

“Haven’t we had enough politics of lost
e-mails and Buddhist Temples?” he
asked. Holding his hand as if taking the
oath of office, Bush added “It’s
hard to usher in the era of
responsibility when figures of
responsibility
don’t behave responsibly.”

Bush ended his day in Clinton country in
a sultry airplane hanger at a
private airstrip with John Mellencamp’s
“R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.” blaring, where
he continued his attacks on Gore before
a crowd of 300 cheering, pompom waving
supporters.

“Al Gore may think he is going to take
Arkansas but we are going to show
him something different,” Bush screamed.
“People of Arkansas know the best
way to get the White House back is to
the end the Clinton-Gore Era in
Washington, D.C.”

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