Hank Hyena
United Kingdom of nymphomania
Are the British discovering they're not so abstemious after all?
Dec. 21, 1999
Will the U.K.’s national joke, “No sex, please; we’re British!” soon be rendered laughable by a plague of nymphomania?
According to worried sexperts quoted in Sunday’s Scottish Daily Record, sex addiction is rising in Great Britain. The paper cites the medical journal Sex Addictions and Compulsivity as saying that the erotic ailment may afflict upwards of 6 percent of the population. Stricken victims experience an overwhelming desire to touch strangers, shag prostitutes and surf Internet chat rooms for sex partners.
The libido specialists claim that the typical English, Scottish or Welsh sexaholic is in his or her late 20s or early 30s, has a well-paid job and averages three or four flings a week. If the disease sounds like rollicking fun, it’s not: 17 percent will attempt suicide and 80 percent have additional addictions to vices such as gambling, alcohol, work or shopping. According to Scottish sex specialist Dr. Prem Misra, “They will never be cured and will have to learn how to cope with their addiction.”
Sex addict and model Amanda Llewellyn-Dawkins of North London, 21, laments that “sex is just like a drug to me,” in the Sunday Mirror. “I can only describe it as a strong craving for an orgasm which won’t go away … and the worst thing is that most of the time you don’t feel like you’re in control.”
Her promiscuous disease began when she lost her virginity at 13 with a boy in her school. After that, “The more sex I had, the more I wanted, and with as many sex partners as I could,” Llewellyn-Dawkins admits, confessing to 200 lovers in the intervening years. The malady makes it impossible for her to have a loving relationship, she rues, “because you can never stay fulfilled … Most of my partners I’ve slept with just once or twice, so there is never any real love involved, even though that is what I want more than anything else.”
Sex addicts are generally misunderstood by the restrained U.K. public, who regard them as “slags” (AKA sluts) boinking from one bed to another. But psychologists note that the compulsively loose behavior is in fact a serious psychological disorder similar to anorexia nervosa or drug addiction.
Carnal goo
New products now being tested promise to alleviate female sexual dysfunction.
Imagine a gel that women layer on their pudenda that magically swells the area with lustful desire. Blood engorges the labia, the clitoris stiffens excitedly and lubrication (the historic task of foreplay) is swiftly unleashed by the moistening cream. A tiny dollop rubbed in softly and — shazam! — the female tingles, itching with passion.
Such a thing exists. Many over-the-counter sex creams that speed up women’s “libida” are already available, and two biopharmaceutical companies are aching to get their new love lotions approved by the Food and Drug Administration. Their medical and financial ambition is to garner the products massive Viagra-esque popularity with women.
Continue Reading CloseSexy penises
The circumcision decision could affect a baby's future sex life.
“He’ll never get a blow job!” pregnant Abigail fretted, “if we don’t circumcise him.”
“Fellatio,” her husband Kent conceded, “is man’s best friend. But why won’t my son get sucked if he’s whole?”
The Berkeley, Calif., baby shower had disintegrated into yet another debate about circumcision. Every well-wisher on the festive patio knew that neo-natal Zachary already owned 15 stuffed animals, nine Dr. Seuss books and enough green overalls to costume an elf army, but the parents — like so many others — hadn’t determined yet if the tot would be sporting a foreskin.
Continue Reading CloseThe quest for sweet semen
I learned how to transform funky spunk into delicious joy juice -- but ultimately decided not to.
“You’ve got funky-tasting spunk,” Samantha tells her bitter paramour on the Aug. 6 “Sex and the City” episode, as she refuses to fellate his foully spurting member. “Giving head [to you] is like a trip to the rotten-egg buffet.”
I winced watching this, because I am consumed with greedy but guilty desire when it comes to the issue of squirting inside the mouth and swallowing. I adore oral acceptance of my penile offering, but I’m cravenly apologetic asking for it, because I’m sure the texture and flavor are repulsive on my lover’s palate. Fear of Samanthas also inhibits me: My crotch loves a tongue-lashing but my ego doesn’t.
Continue Reading ClosePenis gourds: The rebel uniform
Indonesia's government sees the garb worn by Dani tribesmen as backward and an act of defiance.
Indonesia is a polyglot nation of 13,000 islands, 300 ethnic groups and 365 languages that has always been ruled by the heavy-handed, populous Javanese. East Timor’s recent wrenching escape from the iron grip of
Jakarta is only the most visible boil in this archipelago that festers with religious, economic and cultural strife. The next bloodbath could break out in the province of Irian Jaya, the western half of New Guinea, where recent settlers have zero in common with the Stone Age indigenous inhabitants.
Is there a connection between AIDS and circumcision?
Researchers claim decade-old evidence has been ignored.
Male circumcision could help diminish the HIV/AIDS pandemic in developing countries, but health professionals are reluctant to publicize this fact, according to an editorial in the Lancet by Daniel Halperin and Robert Bailey. The authors cite a study, published a decade ago, of 422 Kenyan men who habitually visited prostitutes. The research showed that the uncircumcised men had an 8.2 times greater risk of infection. Of 38 additional investigations, 27 from eight different countries found a similar association between uncut men and infection.
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