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Monday, Jan 10, 2000 5:00 PM UTC2000-01-10T17:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Brotherly love

Joined at the torso, these two brothers had no problem in the bedroom.

Jan. 10, 2000

The original Siamese twins expired on Jan. 17, 1874, after 63 years of being joined together from their nipples to their navels. Despite their inconvenient handicap, Eng and Chang Bunker from East Thailand managed to enjoy all the sexual pleasures of ordinary, separated people.

The fused boys were nearly slain at birth by King Rama II, who regarded them as an omen of evil. When they were 18 years old, their impoverished mother sold the torso-tied duo to a British merchant for $3,000. Robert Hunter and his American partner, Capt. Coffin, displayed the linked lads to incredulous audiences throughout Europe and the United States.

Chang and Eng established their independence at age 21, but they maintained their lucrative stage careers. The superbly coordinated couple dazzled fans with their excellent English and their ability to gracefully waltz, run, row boats, swim, perform gymnastics and play badminton together. Oddly enough, the meshed males diverged wildly on taste: Chang favored spicy Asian chow and excessive alcohol, while Eng was a vegetarian teetotaler.

The wonder bros eventually became American citizens, after they settled on prosperous farmland in North Carolina. They simultaneously fell in love with and courted two sisters, Sallie and Adelaide Yates, whom they married in 1843.

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Thursday, Oct 26, 2000 7:02 PM UTC2000-10-26T19:02:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Carnal goo

New products now being tested promise to alleviate female sexual dysfunction.

Carnal goo
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Imagine a gel that women layer on their pudenda that magically swells the area with lustful desire. Blood engorges the labia, the clitoris stiffens excitedly and lubrication (the historic task of foreplay) is swiftly unleashed by the moistening cream. A tiny dollop rubbed in softly and — shazam! — the female tingles, itching with passion.

Such a thing exists. Many over-the-counter sex creams that speed up women’s “libida” are already available, and two biopharmaceutical companies are aching to get their new love lotions approved by the Food and Drug Administration. Their medical and financial ambition is to garner the products massive Viagra-esque popularity with women.

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Monday, Sep 11, 2000 7:30 PM UTC2000-09-11T19:30:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Sexy penises

The circumcision decision could affect a baby's future sex life.

Sexy penises
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“He’ll never get a blow job!” pregnant Abigail fretted, “if we don’t circumcise him.”

“Fellatio,” her husband Kent conceded, “is man’s best friend. But why won’t my son get sucked if he’s whole?”

The Berkeley, Calif., baby shower had disintegrated into yet another debate about circumcision. Every well-wisher on the festive patio knew that neo-natal Zachary already owned 15 stuffed animals, nine Dr. Seuss books and enough green overalls to costume an elf army, but the parents — like so many others — hadn’t determined yet if the tot would be sporting a foreskin.

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Monday, Aug 21, 2000 7:30 PM UTC2000-08-21T19:30:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

The quest for sweet semen

I learned how to transform funky spunk into delicious joy juice -- but ultimately decided not to.

The quest for sweet semen
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“You’ve got funky-tasting spunk,” Samantha tells her bitter paramour on the Aug. 6 “Sex and the City” episode, as she refuses to fellate his foully spurting member. “Giving head [to you] is like a trip to the rotten-egg buffet.”

I winced watching this, because I am consumed with greedy but guilty desire when it comes to the issue of squirting inside the mouth and swallowing. I adore oral acceptance of my penile offering, but I’m cravenly apologetic asking for it, because I’m sure the texture and flavor are repulsive on my lover’s palate. Fear of Samanthas also inhibits me: My crotch loves a tongue-lashing but my ego doesn’t.

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Tuesday, Feb 29, 2000 5:00 PM UTC2000-02-29T17:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Penis gourds: The rebel uniform

Indonesia's government sees the garb worn by Dani tribesmen as backward and an act of defiance.

Indonesia is a polyglot nation of 13,000 islands, 300 ethnic groups and 365 languages that has always been ruled by the heavy-handed, populous Javanese. East Timor’s recent wrenching escape from the iron grip of
Jakarta is only the most visible boil in this archipelago that festers with religious, economic and cultural strife. The next bloodbath could break out in the province of Irian Jaya, the western half of New Guinea, where recent settlers have zero in common with the Stone Age indigenous inhabitants.

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Monday, Feb 28, 2000 5:00 PM UTC2000-02-28T17:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Is there a connection between AIDS and circumcision?

Researchers claim decade-old evidence has been ignored.

Male circumcision could help diminish the HIV/AIDS pandemic in developing countries, but health professionals are reluctant to publicize this fact, according to an editorial in the Lancet by Daniel Halperin and Robert Bailey. The authors cite a study, published a decade ago, of 422 Kenyan men who habitually visited prostitutes. The research showed that the uncircumcised men had an 8.2 times greater risk of infection. Of 38 additional investigations, 27 from eight different countries found a similar association between uncut men and infection.

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