Books
A shot of the needful
In which the P.G. Wodehouse newsgroup and its online version of Blandings Castle teaches me to play again.
As a child, I was never a fan of anything. I didn’t write letters to the Bay City Rollers. I was never a Trekkie or a Deadhead or a collector of Shaun Cassidy posters. But since that morning a couple years ago when, after reading P.G. Wodehouse’s “Jeeves and the Tie That Binds,” I first logged onto alt.fan.wodehouse (AFW), I’ve been hooked. As Bertie Wooster, “the master’s” most effervescent creation, might say, “the L. has dawned, what?” I am a fan.
Pronounce him “Woodhouse,” thank you kindly. He is a humorist without peer. In 92 books (including 11 novels and countless short stories about the inimitable valet Jeeves), not to mention musical comedies galore, his verbal pyrotechnics made me appreciate the possibilities of language long before I ever considered going to graduate school for English literature. At the core of his appeal is the Wodehousean prose style: a mixture of mangled literary references, Edwardian slang, invented slang, ludicrous formality and remarkable joie de vivre.
Here is Bertie on the subject of his friend Boko’s troubled love affair:
Love’s silken bonds are not broken just because the female half of the sketch takes umbrage at the loony behavior of the male partner and slips it across him in a series of impassioned speeches. However devoutly a girl may worship the man of her choice, there always comes a time when she feels an irresistible urge to haul off and let him have it in the neck. I suppose if the young lovers I’ve known in my time were placed end to end … they would reach half-way down Piccadilly. And I couldn’t think of a single dashed one who hadn’t been through what Boko had been through to-night.
The ecstatic, cooing sort of mirth such passages invoke in me is certainly well and good. I’m all for it. But truth be told, the books are not really the point. What I really love is the newsgroup.
AFW is a mix of role-playing, hobbyism and scholarly inquiry. Whereas newsgroups devoted to canonical authors like Joyce or Kafka tend to maintain an intellectual focus, AFW recreates Blandings Castle, the setting for 10 Wodehouse novels and several short stories. Enter the online community, and you arrive at the Shropshire seat of the dotty Lord Emsworth, his faithful butler Beach and his prize-winning pig. Gone are the trials and tribulations of modern life: On AFW, we concern ourselves with acquiring the recipe for Jeeves’ famous hangover cure, musing upon the meaning of “boomps-a-daisy” (something like “very well, indeed”) and placing virtual bets on whether Boko Fittleworth’s forthcoming infant progeny will look more like Winston Churchill — or a squashed prune.
How do you pronounce “Featherstoneaugh”? The answer is “Fanshaw.” We mire ourselves in Wodehouse trivia, along with bibliography, dramatic adaptations of various sorts and musical theater. Since I logged on to AFW, members have also conducted a pumpkin-growing contest online, polled one another to determine favorite cocktails and puddings and written a large collection of clerihews, most of questionable merit. Together, by submitting numerous nominations via the Web, we briefly managed to put “Only a Factory Girl” — a bestseller written by the entirely fictional novelist Rosie M. Banks, who appears in several Wodehouse stories — on Random House’s controversial list of the 100 best novels ever written. It wasn’t long, however, before the official chappies caught on, and Banks was replaced by Tolkien.
Each member has a “nom de Plum” (Plum was Pelham Grenville Wodehouse’s nickname), and behaves accordingly — breaking character often, but always infusing every exchange with Plum’s signature verbal style. I love playing my part, immersing myself in this fictional world. It’s different from the experience of reading a book, both because I become a participant in the fiction-making process rather than a passive reader, and because the fantasy is collaborative rather than experienced in isolation. We are all in it together. “What Ho!” I cry to Beach the Butler, who chose his nom because “there is a certain similarity in build: like Beach I am not fat, but far from svelte. I also have rather a fruity English accent … And I wanted to be in Blandings, or ‘heaven’ as I tend to think of it.” He is likely to respond with typical portly gravity that he trusts my weekend was satisfactory, Madam, and would I care for a cocktail?
The role-playing began in November 1994, according to longtime member Gussie Fink-Nottle, newt fancier and Drones Club member. “Aunt Diana (then writing as Stiffy) and I started a little in-character cross talk about the proper way to nab [policemen's] helmets,” Gussie writes. (Pinching helmets is a popular sport of Wodehousean heroes when inebriated.) “That was a grand time indeed. There were ferrets about the place … newts got painted orange and thrown into moats, people got potted, darning needles were bought [for puncturing the hot-water bottles of unsuspecting persons] … in fact, everything that could happen in a PGW story happened.”
All that was before my time. It was only about three years ago that I became Lotus Blossom, the impetuous redheaded American film star. “On the screen she seemed a wistful, pathetic little thing,” wrote Plum in 1935′s “The Luck of the Bodkins,” “while off it ‘dynamic’ was more the word. In private life, Lottie Blossom tended to substitute for wistfulness and pathos a sort of Passed for Adults Only joviality which expressed itself outwardly in a brilliant and challenging smile and inwardly and spiritually in her practice of keeping alligators in wicker-work baskets and asking unsuspecting strangers to lift the lid.”
Lottie maintains, in fact, that she has learned virtually all she knows about registering emotion on film by watching people’s faces as they first encounter her pet. In my online incarnation, then, I let my alligator loose on occasion (Beach the Butler, if memory serves, had a nasty encounter with him, and the Dog MacIntosh was in serious danger). I throw back “shots of the needful” with admirable equanimity, and shrink not from the more controversial questions, such as whether soupy Madeline Bassett believed stars were God’s daisy chain or the wee sneezes of fairies.
Now, I do not claim the AFW in-character posts are unique. Very likely Dune-fanciers, Trekkies and even Shakespearians are boldly beaming each other up and wherefore-art-ing each other across the Internet. I certainly wouldn’t put it past them. And I know from my ’80s experiments with Dungeons and Dragons that role-playing is nothing new. I merely claim that I am playing in a way that I haven’t done since my Barbie dolls were packed off to the Salvation Army, or since my friend Becca and I spent one happy summer in Narnia.
This kind of play was a continuous part of my reading life from my first encounter with “Pat the Bunny” until sometime around puberty. I was Oliver Twist the pickpocket, I was Jo in “Little Women,” I was Peter Pan and Pippi Longstocking and some little witch whose name I don’t remember. With my friends and alone in my bedroom, I made up fresh stories and fantasies based in the fictions I had first encountered on the page. And then, somehow, I stopped. My life as a reader changed. I wasn’t Holden Caulfield, Owen Meany or Lily Bart. I was never anyone again — until I became Lottie Blossom.
What had changed? With no fellow Peter Pans to urge me not to grow up, I had become concerned with my adolescent sense of dignity. I abandoned my series of imaginary characters in favor of fashioning my own identity in the real world. Then came college and graduate school — where reading became a profession. Playing at it became unthinkable.
What ho, Plummies! They came to my rescue when I was mired in the depths of my dissertation, saving me from a life devoted to reading “Types of Ethical Theory” and Spinoza. The newsgroup gave me a sense of membership. They were a supportive group of completely invisible like-minded souls, unconcerned with dignity — just looking about in search of a cocktail or a lost pig. In the safety of the Internet’s anonymity, and in the jolly comfort of a shared language, I started playing again.
Offline, I’m not hopping about the apartment in search of my alligator or crying “What ho!” at my husband when he comes home, but Wodehouse’s world infiltrates my life in pleasing and comical ways. For example, I prepared mind, body and soul for writing this essay by eating large gobs of English country lemon curd on toast and drinking tea. To get me in the M., don’t you know. Later this evening, perhaps, I will restore the tissues with a drop or two of the needful. A boy who yells loudly in my building’s hallway at all hours and then asks me to donate money to his scout troop is no longer an annoyance; he is an excrescence — “as pestilential a stripling as ever wore khaki shorts and went spooring or whatever it is that these Boy Scouts do.” Unlike Lotus, I am apt to be quiet in crowds, and to dress more like a janitor than a film star — but something like Lottie’s oomph has revealed itself in my recent purchase of some zebra-print shoes and a dress trimmed in feathers.
I probably won’t ever become Holden Caulfield or Lily Bart. (Well, who would want to?) But being a fan has changed the way I read. I’ve shifted from my adult, over-trained intellectualism back to my youthful preoccupation and playfulness. And this way, I think, is better. Or as Plum would say, here I am — all boomps-a-daisy.
Emily Jenkins is the author of "Tongue First," "Five Creatures," and a forthcoming novel: "Mister Posterior and the Genius Child." More Emily Jenkins.
“People Who Eat Darkness”: The disappearing blonde
A true crime story set in Tokyo illuminates the complicated truths behind media cliches
Joji Obara and Lucie Blackman (Credit: Estate of Lucie Jane Blackman) Lucie Blackman, 21, went out for the afternoon in 2000, phoning her roommate and best friend Louise to arrange a meeting later that night. Lucie never showed up, and within a few days she’d become one of those vanished blondes whose fates fuel headlines and hours of speculative media coverage. She was British, a former flight attendant, and she and Louise were living in Tokyo. They were also bar hostesses, a profession with a very specific meaning in Japan, difficult to explain to foreigners and not entirely clear to the Japanese themselves. Lucie both did and didn’t match the classic Missing Blonde profile, and for a while the mystery of what happened to her threatened to lapse into permanent obscurity.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Corporate criminals gone wild
The maker of the documentary film "Inside Job" has a new book excoriating Wall Street -- and President Obama
A detail from the cover of "Predator Nation" “Inside Job,” Charles Ferguson’s Oscar-winning documentary film on how government, Wall Street and academia colluded to deliver us the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, made a powerful case that something was very very rotten at the heart of the American political/economic nexus. His follow-up book, “Predator Nation: Corporate Criminals, Political Corruption, and the Hijacking of America,” can be considered the legal brief that dots every “i” and crosses every “t” in his argument. A tightly argued, profusely footnoted and deeply enraged castigation of everyone involved, “Predator Nation” isn’t just a factually unchallengeable account of how Wall Street blew up the global economy. It’s a denunciation, a call for justice and a warning: After getting away with the crime of the century, Wall Street still isn’t satisfied.
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Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon. On Twitter, @koxinga21. More Andrew Leonard.
Can you identify?
Science shows that the only way around some readers' prejudices is to trick them
(Credit: Shutterstock/Salon) The news of recent research documenting how readers identify with the main characters in stories has mostly been taken as confirmation of the value of literary role models. Lisa Libby, an assistant professor at Ohio State University and co-author of a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, explained that subjects who read a short story in which the protagonist overcomes obstacles in order to vote were more likely to vote themselves several days later.
The suggestibility of readers isn’t news. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s novel of a sensitive young man destroyed by unrequited love, “The Sorrows of Young Werther,” inspired a rash of suicides by would-be Werthers in the late 1700s. Jack Kerouac has launched a thousand road trips. Still, this is part of science’s job: Running empirical tests on common knowledge — if for no other reason than because common knowledge (and common sense) is often wrong.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
“The Aleppo Codex”: The bizarre history of a precious book
A reporter traces the shadowy fate of the definitive version of the Hebrew Bible
Matti Friedman An ancient and priceless book, a murky history of evasions and coverups, an underground of sinister and possibly violent dealers, a former spy who drops tantalizing hints and a wily 84-year-old millionaire who says stuff like, “The problem with this story is that it could damage your health”: Are these the ingredients for a cheesy, improbable historical thriller? Yet “The Aleppo Codex,” Matti Friedman’s account of his attempts to learn the history of one of the world’s most precious books, sports all of these assets, and it’s nonfiction. If reporting this story damaged Friedman’s health, it probably happened when he realized what he’d stumbled into and his reporter’s heart started beating in doubletime.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Augusten Burroughs: Conquer trauma by letting it go
Salon exclusive: The best-selling memoirist says past horrors haunt us because we think about them too much. Stop
Augusten Burroughs Many people continue to feel influenced and even controlled by the things that happened to them a long time ago. Sometimes, people harbor dark, traumatic memories from childhood. Or fragments of memories — incomplete scenes, uncomfortable feelings, perhaps even a sense of certainty that something specific and terrible happened to them, but little more than this.
Others experienced something traumatic in adulthood that continues to affect them day to day many years later. Maybe an assault has left a person afraid to leave their home or enter a particular neighborhood.
Continue Reading CloseAugusten Burroughs' many books include "Runnning With Scissors," "Dry," "Sellevision," "Magical Thinking" and "Possible Side Effects." His latest book is "This Is How." More Augusten Burroughs.
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