2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Topics: Life News
Gene Simmons could play bass in them, but in Osaka, Japan, you will no longer be
able to drive in ‘em. Local police have announced plans to prohibit
motorists from wearing platform shoes, the footwear of choice of trendy
young things who, according to a Reuters report, also favor “dyed blond
hair, skimpy skirts and glittering eye makeup.”
Osaka officials believe the precipitous platforms are the cause of numerous
car accidents because they slow down drivers’ response times, especially
when they must brake quickly during an emergency. In November, a
passenger died in a collision in which the driver, a young woman, was
wearing high heels. The police hypothesized that her sky-high shoes
had prevented her from braking properly.
Osaka’s cops are now conducting tests to prove their theory is correct. If
it is, teen queens and drag queens will have to leave their platforms at
home, along with house slippers and geta (traditional wooden clogs), which
are also illegal to wear when driving.
A traffic department official told the Associated Press, “Common sense says
platform heels are dangerous for driving, but we’re going to prove it
scientifically for the first time.”
Maybe they can prove that they aren’t made for walking, either.
J.A. Getzlaff's Daily Planet appears every weekday. Do you have a tip or tale for J.A.? Send it to DailyPlanet@salon.com.More J.A. Getzlaff.
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KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.