Hank Hyena

Moonies rally against “free sex”

Waving signs declaring, "One man, one wife," students take to the streets of Seoul to promote chastity.

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Young, normal people are supposed to be obsessed with sex,
right?
Horniness is a healthy libidinous urge that helps promote the
joyful
reproduction of our species, correct? Naked World applauds the
instinctive
appetite for erotic intercourse that emerges in our adolescence,
but there
are apparently inhibited youth who disagree with this position.
In Seoul, South Korea, on Feb. 11, hundreds of humans in their
early 20s rallied inexplicably against “free sex,” according to
AP Worldstream.

The demonstration was co-sponsored and primarily attended by
the “National
Headquarters To Practice True Family Values,” a group
affiliated with the
Rev. Sun Myung Moon’s Unification Church. The “ target="new" href=
"http://www.purelove.org/">Pure Love Alliance,” a Moonie
splinter
group of students who promote and celebrate virginity, also
helped organize the anti-orgasmic gathering. The celibate
crowd of 500
commenced the event by raising their right hands to vow an oath
of chastity
until marriage, before parading downtown for five city blocks.
Leaflets
promoting their fingers-off philosophy were distributed by the
eager for abstinence marchers who waved puritanical placards
proclaiming, “Free Sex: No,” “One man, one wife” and
“Extramarital affair, you are a witch.”

The rally climaxed in a plaza with the prudish participants from
Korea, Japan, Europe, the United States and Latin America
dancing to folk music and waving balloons. Vehement virgins
interviewed by AP Worldstream expressed their enmity for
American movies, magazines and pop culture because of their
defiling influence on innocent souls. “In Korea, like other
countries in the East, a lot of Westernization
is going on promoting free sex,” lamented Bow
Jones, 21, of New York.

One of the 79 Bulgarians in attendance, Diana van
der Stok, 26, echoed the consensus complaint that young people
were overly interested in sex. “It can be very satisfying in the
beginning,” she conceded, “but then it can result in a serious
heartache.”

The Pure Love Alliance is planning its fourth international tour
to promote its “Pure Love Pledge” in the United States and
Europe. The not-too-exciting excursion will kick off in Chicago
on July 22 and meander off to both coasts, with a hot
continental rendezvous scheduled in our nation’s capital on
August 6. Naked World is brazenly hoping for a plane
ticket to cover the ecstatic event.

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