Hank Hyena
Moonies rally against “free sex”
Waving signs declaring, "One man, one wife," students take to the streets of Seoul to promote chastity.
Young, normal people are supposed to be obsessed with sex,
right?
Horniness is a healthy libidinous urge that helps promote the
joyful
reproduction of our species, correct? Naked World applauds the
instinctive
appetite for erotic intercourse that emerges in our adolescence,
but there
are apparently inhibited youth who disagree with this position.
In Seoul, South Korea, on Feb. 11, hundreds of humans in their
early 20s rallied inexplicably against “free sex,” according to
AP Worldstream.
The demonstration was co-sponsored and primarily attended by
the “National
Headquarters To Practice True Family Values,” a group
affiliated with the
Rev. Sun Myung Moon’s Unification Church. The “
target="new" href=
"http://www.purelove.org/">Pure Love Alliance,” a Moonie
splinter
group of students who promote and celebrate virginity, also
helped organize the anti-orgasmic gathering. The celibate
crowd of 500
commenced the event by raising their right hands to vow an oath
of chastity
until marriage, before parading downtown for five city blocks.
Leaflets
promoting their fingers-off philosophy were distributed by the
eager for abstinence marchers who waved puritanical placards
proclaiming, “Free Sex: No,” “One man, one wife” and
“Extramarital affair, you are a witch.”
The rally climaxed in a plaza with the prudish participants from
Korea, Japan, Europe, the United States and Latin America
dancing to folk music and waving balloons. Vehement virgins
interviewed by AP Worldstream expressed their enmity for
American movies, magazines and pop culture because of their
defiling influence on innocent souls. “In Korea, like other
countries in the East, a lot of Westernization
is going on promoting free sex,” lamented Bow
Jones, 21, of New York.
One of the 79 Bulgarians in attendance, Diana van
der Stok, 26, echoed the consensus complaint that young people
were overly interested in sex. “It can be very satisfying in the
beginning,” she conceded, “but then it can result in a serious
heartache.”
The Pure Love Alliance is planning its fourth international tour
to promote its “Pure Love Pledge” in the United States and
Europe. The not-too-exciting excursion will kick off in Chicago
on July 22 and meander off to both coasts, with a hot
continental rendezvous scheduled in our nation’s capital on
August 6. Naked World is brazenly hoping for a plane
ticket to cover the ecstatic event.
Carnal goo
New products now being tested promise to alleviate female sexual dysfunction.
Imagine a gel that women layer on their pudenda that magically swells the area with lustful desire. Blood engorges the labia, the clitoris stiffens excitedly and lubrication (the historic task of foreplay) is swiftly unleashed by the moistening cream. A tiny dollop rubbed in softly and — shazam! — the female tingles, itching with passion.
Such a thing exists. Many over-the-counter sex creams that speed up women’s “libida” are already available, and two biopharmaceutical companies are aching to get their new love lotions approved by the Food and Drug Administration. Their medical and financial ambition is to garner the products massive Viagra-esque popularity with women.
Continue Reading CloseSexy penises
The circumcision decision could affect a baby's future sex life.
“He’ll never get a blow job!” pregnant Abigail fretted, “if we don’t circumcise him.”
“Fellatio,” her husband Kent conceded, “is man’s best friend. But why won’t my son get sucked if he’s whole?”
The Berkeley, Calif., baby shower had disintegrated into yet another debate about circumcision. Every well-wisher on the festive patio knew that neo-natal Zachary already owned 15 stuffed animals, nine Dr. Seuss books and enough green overalls to costume an elf army, but the parents — like so many others — hadn’t determined yet if the tot would be sporting a foreskin.
Continue Reading CloseThe quest for sweet semen
I learned how to transform funky spunk into delicious joy juice -- but ultimately decided not to.
“You’ve got funky-tasting spunk,” Samantha tells her bitter paramour on the Aug. 6 “Sex and the City” episode, as she refuses to fellate his foully spurting member. “Giving head [to you] is like a trip to the rotten-egg buffet.”
I winced watching this, because I am consumed with greedy but guilty desire when it comes to the issue of squirting inside the mouth and swallowing. I adore oral acceptance of my penile offering, but I’m cravenly apologetic asking for it, because I’m sure the texture and flavor are repulsive on my lover’s palate. Fear of Samanthas also inhibits me: My crotch loves a tongue-lashing but my ego doesn’t.
Continue Reading ClosePenis gourds: The rebel uniform
Indonesia's government sees the garb worn by Dani tribesmen as backward and an act of defiance.
Indonesia is a polyglot nation of 13,000 islands, 300 ethnic groups and 365 languages that has always been ruled by the heavy-handed, populous Javanese. East Timor’s recent wrenching escape from the iron grip of
Jakarta is only the most visible boil in this archipelago that festers with religious, economic and cultural strife. The next bloodbath could break out in the province of Irian Jaya, the western half of New Guinea, where recent settlers have zero in common with the Stone Age indigenous inhabitants.
Is there a connection between AIDS and circumcision?
Researchers claim decade-old evidence has been ignored.
Male circumcision could help diminish the HIV/AIDS pandemic in developing countries, but health professionals are reluctant to publicize this fact, according to an editorial in the Lancet by Daniel Halperin and Robert Bailey. The authors cite a study, published a decade ago, of 422 Kenyan men who habitually visited prostitutes. The research showed that the uncircumcised men had an 8.2 times greater risk of infection. Of 38 additional investigations, 27 from eight different countries found a similar association between uncut men and infection.
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