Academia
Chains of love
Always fall for losers? According to some evolutionary psychiatrists, the brain has little control over choices of the heart.
“Love is a bodily process,” declare Thomas Lewis and his collaborators, and no, they’re not talking about sex. The three psychiatrists (Fari Amini and Richard Lannon are the others) are making the case for “A General Theory of Love,” which is, simply stated: Stop thinking so much. Our romance with logic and reason, they contend, has obscured the fact that underneath our cerebral conversation and witty banter, we’re still primitive creatures, hungry for the touch of another’s skin and the sound of another’s heartbeat. Bodies carry on their own love affairs, and the intellect doesn’t have much to do with this visceral experience.
Some aspects of this “revolutionary” thesis are already familiar. Freud also located love and its discontents in the body: All those female patients with their odd physical quirks, due always, it turned out, to some kink or twist in love’s free expression. But for Freud, the involvement of the body was the symptom, not the cure. That was achieved by nudging the neurosis out of the corporeal and into the abstract, where it could be looked at in the light. Lewis et al., meanwhile, move in the opposite direction: They want to return love to the body, show that it’s made from flesh, blood and bone.
Central to their argument is the theory of the “triune brain,” which holds that our minds are made up of three parts, each an artifact of a particular era in our evolutionary history. There’s the reptilian brain, which keeps our hearts beating and our lungs filling with air. There’s the limbic brain, peculiar to mammals, which regulates our relationships with other warm-blooded creatures. And there’s the neocortex, in humans the largest of the trio, which allows us to speak, reason and make up theories like this one.
It’s the middle, limbic, layer that runs our love lives, the authors assert, and it gets the whole body into the act: heartbeat, temperature, blood pressure, the flow of neurotransmitters, all are righted and steadied by the presence of someone we’re close to. And love alters not only these fleeting rhythms, but also the very structure of the brain. Every time we think, say or do something, we beat a path through neural thickets that makes it a little easier to go that way again. In love, especially, we tend to follow the tracks we’ve made before, and we look for others who inhabit familiar territory. To try to love someone whose mental highways and byways don’t intersect with our own — who sulks when we would argue, who shouts when we would cry — is to enter an emotional wilderness.
Love makes its mark on us early. In greenest childhood, the brain is busy pruning the lush overgrowth of synapses with which we’re born. Though this process is familiar to every ambitious parent (lay down some French verb tenses before it’s too late!), it’s less often applied to the emotional brain. But the same thing happens here: If a baby doesn’t encounter kindness and compassion in her first years of life, she’ll be no more conversant in its ways than any other latecomer struggling to master a foreign tongue.
Memory, too, becomes a physical part of us. There’s the explicit kind, which records in vivid but fast-fading detail the casual criticism your lover lobbed at you last night. And there’s implicit memory, which extracts from those details a general principle — people who love often hurt you — and squirrels it away for future reference. In childhood, especially, our implicit memories are engaged in identifying “rules” about how relationships work, and these unconscious rules are the ones we live by as adults.
In all these ways, the authors tell us, love permeates and saturates the body. A pleasing thought, until you consider what it means for those who have absorbed less-than-ideal notions about relationships and romance. They’re stuck, it would seem, since the limbic brain is utterly impervious to reason or analysis. There’s only one solution, say Thomas, Amini and Lannon: therapy.
Surprise, surprise. All three are practicing psychiatrists, and though they never acknowledge their self-interest in the perpetuation of therapy, it’s apparent enough. Helping patients learn how to have healthy relationships “takes vast vistas of time — three, five years, sometimes more,” they note sanguinely. It doesn’t much matter what words are said during these scores of sessions, they imply; what’s important is that a mysterious process takes place, something they call “revising limbic attractors.” What has until now been a vigorous and well-supported argument here softens into mush. “If patient and therapist are to proceed together down a curative path,” the authors intone, “they must allow limbic regulation and its companion moon, dependence, to make their revolutionary magic.” One can almost hear, thumping in the background, the drumbeats from one of Robert Bly’s wooded retreats.
To their credit, Thomas and the others recognize that forces larger than individual experience shape the way we love. But their discussion of cultural impediments to love is also oddly flawed, a random, eccentric collection of diatribes against phenomena as varied as corporate loyalty and the war on drugs. It includes, among other oddities, a five-page rant against children sleeping apart from their parents and a hysterical denunciation of HMOs that likens them to cannibalistic alligators.
The authors endlessly exhort us to spend more time with our spouses and children. That’s fine; most of us would like to do just that. But how to handle the intense pressures pushing us in the opposite direction? They offer only smug platitudes, assuring us that if we would “forgo exalted titles, glamorous friends, exotic vacations, washboard abs, designer everything,” we might “just get a chance at a decent life.”
Most troubling of all is their unspoken political agenda, one that might have been guessed from their enthusiastic endorsement by anti-feminist Danielle Crittenden. Thomas and his co-authors inveigh passionately against day care, and though they occasionally suggest that a “parent” ought to stay home with children, mostly they just say “mother” (and that gender-neutral parent always turns out, a few sentences later, to be a “she”). Quivering with indignation, they declare, “In its baldest tally of values, our culture automatically equates a dedication to full-time parenting with the absence of ambition. But in what human activity could there possibly be more?” Try professor of psychiatry at the University of California-San Francisco, a title held by all three men in addition to demanding schedules of writing and private practice. That’s not to discount their point, but to suggest that they pay too little heed to the complexity of women’s (and men’s) choices.
They conclude with an apocalyptic vision of America’s future. “Just as the dinosaur body was built to live within a range of temperature, so the limbic brain chains mammals to a certain emotional climate,” the authors maintain. “The giant reptiles vanished when the skies darkened and temperatures fell. Our downfall is equally assured if we push our living conditions beyond the limits our emotional heritage decrees.” But are those limits really so rigid? Human beings have thrived precisely because they are so intelligently flexible, able to adapt to “emotional climates” other than the sunny suburban skies over 1950s Levittown.
If their grim conception of what lies ahead is unconvincing, so, ultimately, is their idea of what grown-up relationships ought to look like. The authors would have us surrender to the swampy, symbiotic ways of the limbic brain, and ignore the edgy intrusions of the insistently verbal neocortex. But how do we get to know each other, after all, except through talk? New lovers can’t spill their secrets fast enough, and more familiar ones find that their running conversation, years or decades long, becomes the sum of what they share. Anyone who has loved another adult knows the primal, almost infantile comfort that a partner’s touch can provide. But they probably also know the pleasures of prickly individualism, of two personalities held just far enough apart to see each other whole — body and mind.
Majoring in Potterology
Are books like J.K. Rowling's popular series and Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" fit subjects for serious scholarship?
(Credit: Shutterstock/Salon) Last week in Scotland, 60 scholars gathered over two days for the U.K.’s first scholarly conference on the Harry Potter series. The Guardian newspaper quoted John Mullan, a professor of English at University College London, questioning the wisdom of organizing such an event. Concluding that the host college, the University of St. Andrews, was primarily after “publicity,” Mullan suggested the attendees would be better off forgetting kids’ books and cultivating their gravitas. “They should be reading Milton and ‘Tristram Shandy,’” he told the Guardian. “That’s what they’re paid to do.”
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
We had all the time in the world
My sabbatical offered a quiet and calm I'd always wanted. Then I discovered what a challenge that could be
(Credit: Hofhauser via Shutterstock) One of the enviable perks of the academic life is the funded year off that comes every seven years, and my husband and I were miraculously scheduled for sabbatical at the same time. The year fell during what was technically the second year of our “empty nest,” but it was the first time we’d be without children and day jobs. Unlike our colleagues, who head to dusty provincial church archives to research the something-something in medieval Spain, we were free to go wherever. Filled with ideas for almost every medium — play, essay, screenplay, pilot, humor pieces — I dreamed of untold productivity and an endless summer at my in-laws’ lake house in New Hampshire. I would finally have the time and quiet I’d been hungering for after 19 years of teaching and raising children.
Continue Reading CloseWendy MacLeod's plays have been produced Off-Broadway at Playwrights Horizons and at The Goodman and Steppenwolf Theaters in Chicago. Her play "The House of Yes" was made into a Miramax film. Her prose has appeared in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The International Herald Tribune, The Washington Post, The Rumpus, The Awl, NPR’s All Things Considered and POETRY magazine. She is the James E. Michael Playwright-in-Residence at Kenyon College. Her new play "Women in Jep" will premiere in July at the Arden Theater in Philadelphia. More Wendy MacLeod.
MacArthur Foundation reveals 2011 “genius grants”
Recipients of surprise $500,000 fellowships include Chicago architect, founder of New York City children's choir
NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 18: Francisco Nunez, winner of the MacArthur Fellowship was photographed on September 18, 2011 in New York, NY. (Photo by Chris Lane/Getty Images for Home Front)(Credit: Christopher Lane) A Chicago skyscraper architect, a New York City children’s choir founder and a North Carolina scientist who studies how to prevent sports-related concussions are among the latest 22 recipients of the no-strings-attached MacArthur Foundation “genius grants.”
The $500,000 fellowships for 2011 were announced Tuesday by the Chicago-based John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation. Recipients largely don’t know they’re in contention for the annual awards, and often learn they’re winners with an out-of-the-blue phone call informing them they’ll receive the money over the next five years.
Continue Reading CloseWhen Jonathan Franzen came to town
I wanted to be the perfect host for the Great American Novelist. Instead I saw how strange literary celebrity is
Jonathan Franzen For the dinner in honor of the Great American Novelist the guest list is made up months in advance. Nobody asks whether the visiting writer wants a dinner. Nobody considers the possibility that giving a lecture on a full stomach and after a glass or two of wine might be difficult. The dinner is not about what the writer wants; it’s about what we want. And we want to meet the writer. Are we highbrow sycophants competing for the chance to say forever after that we had dinner with the Great American Novelist? Or are we faithful readers grateful to hear more from a writer we admire? When Jonathan Franzen came to Kenyon College, I was hoping we’d be the latter.
Continue Reading CloseWendy MacLeod's plays have been produced Off-Broadway at Playwrights Horizons and at The Goodman and Steppenwolf Theaters in Chicago. Her play "The House of Yes" was made into a Miramax film. Her prose has appeared in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The International Herald Tribune, The Washington Post, The Rumpus, The Awl, NPR’s All Things Considered and POETRY magazine. She is the James E. Michael Playwright-in-Residence at Kenyon College. Her new play "Women in Jep" will premiere in July at the Arden Theater in Philadelphia. More Wendy MacLeod.
Is it time to kill the liberal arts degree?
I was a floundering humanities graduate too, but in a brutal job market, maybe we need to rethink what we teach
Every year or two, my husband, an academic advisor at a prestigious Midwestern university, gets a call from a student’s parent. Mr. or Mrs. So-and-so’s son is a sophomore now and still insistent on majoring in film studies, anthropology, Southeast Asian comparative literature or, god forbid … English. These dalliances in the humanities were fine and good when little Johnny was a freshman, but isn’t it time now that he wake up and start thinking seriously about what, one or two or three years down the line, he’s actually going to do?
Continue Reading CloseKim Brooks is a graduate of the Iowa Writers' Workshop. Her fiction has appeared in Glimmer Train, One Story, Epoch, and other journals. She lives in Chicago and has just finished a novel. You can follow her on Twitter @KA_Brooks. More Kim Brooks.
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