Television
Blue Glow
Salon's TV picks for
Monday, March 13, 2000
Series
Freaks and Geeks (8 p.m., NBC) returns to the NBC lineup for what may very well be its last stand. This amazing, yet low-rated, high school comedy has its loyal supporters, but, alas, it’s the people with the Nielsen boxes that count. So let me direct this plea to the boxed among you: Do a good deed. Leave the TV on NBC from 8 to 9. You don’t even have to be in the room. Good karma will find you. Amen. Ally McBeal (9 p.m., Fox) reruns the episode where a dying boy wants to sue God. It’s notable because the boy is played by Oscar nominee Haley Joel Osment (“The Sixth Sense”). On a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond (9 p.m., CBS), Ray sees himself in a whiny, annoying cousin. Lily’s late father has left a surprise for her on Once and Again (10 p.m., ABC).
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Specials
Satan’s School for Girls (8 p.m., ABC) is a TV movie remake of a 1973 TV movie about devil-worship at a girls’ academy. Kate Jackson and Shannen Doherty star. Trust me, nothing scary happens until after 9. (See “Freaks and Geeks,” above.) The four-part series The Most (9 p.m. EST/10 PST, History Channel) looks at extreme achievements and events in recent history, beginning with “Astounding Structures,” a look at the world’s tallest, grandest, longest and weirdest buildings and bridges. The documentary Paradise Lost 2: Revelations (10 p.m., HBO) revisits the true story of three child murders that took place in the suburban Arkansas development of Robin Hood Hills. The case was first explored in Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky’s controversial, Emmy-winning 1996 documentary “Paradise Lost,” which raised questions about whether the teenagers convicted of the murders were guilty. In the sequel, Berlinger and Sinofsky offer new evidence that the real killer may still be at large.
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Sports
Basketball:
Celtics at Pistons (8 p.m., TBS)
Hockey:
Stars at Rangers (7:30 p.m., ESPN)
Flyers at Coyotes (10 p.m., ESPN2)
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Talk
Rosie O’Donnell (syndicated) Performance from Broadway’s “The Bomb-itty of Errors”
David Letterman (CBS) Sophia Loren, the Mavericks (rerun)
Jay Leno (NBC) Elton John, Angie Harmon
Politically Incorrect (ABC) Kim Coles, Scott Weiland
Conan O’Brien (NBC) Hilary Swank, Everything but the Girl (rerun)
Joyce Millman is a writer living in the Bay Area. More Joyce Millman.
Ernest Hemingway made silly
HBO's unintentionally hilarious "Hemingway & Gellhorn" gets everything disastrously wrong
Nicole Kidman and Clive Owen in "Hemingway & Gellhorn" Here’s something you should consider doing before watching HBO’s inadvertent comedy “Hemingway & Gellhorn,” a disastrous two-and-a-half-hour CliffsNotes on the passionate, dysfunctional love affair between Ernest Hemingway (Clive Owen) and his third wife, the war correspondent Martha Gellhorn (Nicole Kidman), which airs Monday night. Find some Hemingway — take it off the shelf, download it to a Kindle, load a page of “The Sun Also Rises” onto your computer via Google books — and leave it within arm’s reach. You are going to want to read from it at fairly regular intervals to remind yourself that though he may have been a drunk, a brute and a womanizer, Ernest Hemingway was not a complete and total idiot. And then you can also use it to shield your eyes from the movie’s myriad crimes against sepia, its extensive use of what appear to be Instagram photo effects, the hot pink blood, Metallica’s Lars Ulrich in a beret, and the scene toward the end of the film in which Kidman’s face is superimposed over real footage of emaciated bodies at Auschwitz and Dachau.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
“American Idol”: Riveting despite itself
We all knew Phillip Phillips would win. Yes, the judges are nuts. So why did I feel real emotion anyway?
The final episode of any season of “American Idol” is always a smiling show of force, a confetti-laden massacre of time. After a nearly 40-episode season, along comes the gargantuan finale, an enormous spectacle that contains exactly one minute of real content — when the winners are announced — and two-plus hours of filler. Last night’s episode was nominally about who would be declared the winner of the 11thseason of “Idol” — Phillip Phillips, the humorously named yet handsome guitarist with a twang in his voice and shirts cut to display exactly the appropriate sliver of chest hair, or the huge-voiced, personality-less 16-year old Jessica Sanchez. But sleepily good-looking white guys (and Scotty McCreery) have won the last four seasons of “Idol,” and Phillips was pretty much a lock before the night even began. And so it is a commendation to the near-military professionalism of “Idol” that somehow, for the last half-hour or so, I was riveted to the screen.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
More sex and disasters, please
TV season finales used to be about crazy couplings and exciting explosions. Where did the fun go?
Gabriel Mann and Emily VanCamp in "Revenge" There are a few times of year when network television can typically be relied upon to be as interesting as cable: The fall, when the networks vomit out dozens of new programs; February, when the networks cough up a dozen or so more; and May, when all the series that have survived the year try to end in spectacular fashion. During this last period, season-finale time, couples couple, get married and have babies; characters quit, get fired and die; disasters occur; buildings explode; guns blaze; hatches are discovered and protagonists are left dangling off cliffs, both actual and metaphorical. It’s the TV equivalent of blockbuster season, and like blockbuster season, it can and should be fun. Though in recent years cable shows have been responsible for a disproportionate number of the “Holy crap, did that just happen?!” finales (hello, Gus Fring and his brand-new face!), network shows are usually good for at least some insanity, some drama, some transcendent event that will get people talking around the storied watercooler. Not this year. Nope, this year, season finale season has been a bust.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
As Kristen Wiig departs “SNL,” what’s next for women?
"Saturday Night Live" says goodbye to a star -- and leaves late night without a queen
Mick Jagger and Kristen Wiig during the season finale of "Saturday Night Live" What, you didn’t get to dance with Mick Jagger, hug Jon Hamm and be serenaded by Arcade Fire the last time you left a job? I guess you’re not Kristen Wiig.
After seven years on “SNL,” Wiig said goodbye on Saturday night’s season finale that will go down as one of the sweetest, most choked-up moments on the show since Steve Martin said goodbye to Gilda Radner on the day of her death almost exactly 23 years earlier.
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Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.
What’s “Community” without Dan Harmon?
Less ambitious shows might survive losing a creator. But firing the prickly showrunner bodes poorly for next season
Dan Harmon (Credit: AP/Matt Sayles) A recent episode of NBC’s “Community” floated the possibility — debunked by episode’s end — that the seven main characters had not spent the previous three years navigating life, each other and paintball fights at Greendale Community College, but instead, had only been imagining them. In the episode, the recently expelled Greendale Seven found themselves in a group therapy session with a nefarious shrink, keen to keep them away from their college using any psychological means necessary. The therapist temporarily convinced them they had spent the previous years in a mental institution and that everything they remembered happening at school, except their friendship, had been a collective fantasy, a “shared psychosis” dreamed up in the asylum.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
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