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J.A. Getzlaff

Wednesday, Jun 7, 2000 7:00 PM UTC2000-06-07T19:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Black magic woman?

A court sentences a United Arab Emirates woman to four months in jail for casting a spell.

In the United Arab Emirates, a teacher and former housewife is spending four months in jail for putting a bad mojo on her former husband and his sister, according to a recent Reuters report.

The woman, angry with her ex-spouse for divorcing her, went to the country next door, Oman, where she hired a magician to conjure up a nasty spell for her former beloved and his sibling.

Apparently, the spell worked. At least psychologically. The man and his sister soon came down with a number of undiagnosed illnesses, which they attributed to the ex-wife’s black magic. Believing they were possessed by demons, they sought retribution in court — and won. The ex-wife was promptly whisked off to jail.

Recently, however, she was granted an appeal from a court in Sharjah, which informed the Gulf News that the “physical and psychological ailments” of the man and his sibling had no correlation with the ex-wife’s visit to the magician.

The newspaper also said that it is common for Arab women to visit magicians in times of need — as in “I need that Mercedes” or “I need you to come down with a rare and unsightly skin disease.” Hey, maybe they’ve got something there.

Friday, Jun 9, 2000 7:02 PM UTC2000-06-09T19:02:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Wave rage

Some Aussie surfers are attacking tourist "kooks" for stealing their breaks.

When traveling in the USA, the land of the automobile, one must be wary of road rage. Down Under, in the land of surfing, one must be careful of wave rage. According to a recent BBC report, several of Australia’s most popular surfing breaks have become battlegrounds between locals and tourists. And the locals are winning.

Here’s the scoop: Young travelers, usually male, show up, take one look at those long, beautiful breaks and, before you can say “Don’t forget your rash guard,” they’re in the water, paddling to catch the wave of their dreams.

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Thursday, Jun 8, 2000 7:00 PM UTC2000-06-08T19:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Kenyan schoolchildren take over town

Outraged by a classmate's death, hundreds go on a "drunken rampage."

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It all started with a pencil. On Monday, a 9-year-old student of the James Gichuru School in Dandora, a suburb of Nairobi, Kenya, dropped his pencil on the road near his school. When he bent down to pick it up, the speeding driver of a matatu — a public minibus — hit and killed the boy.

The child’s classmates, incensed by their friend’s death and the lack of speed bumps in the area, banded together with kids from other area schools and went on a “drunken rampage,” according to a Reuters report.

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Tuesday, Jun 6, 2000 7:00 PM UTC2000-06-06T19:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Artichoke power!

Spanish villages plan to burn giant veggies for electricity.

In two years, the northern Spanish towns of Villabilla de Burgos and Alcala de Gurrea will be running on artichokes. No kidding!

According to a Reuters report, the towns plan to burn giant, 10-foot-high artichokes at their twin power stations to convert the thorny vegetables to electricity.

Ten-foot-high artichokes? Yup. Spanish farmers, with a little financial help from European Union subsidies and the towns’ electricity generator, have been raising genetically modified “monster vegetables” with 23-foot-long roots. These larger-than-life artichokes may be unfit for human consumption, but once burned, they will provide the power to supply Villabilla de Burgos’ and Alcala de Gurrea’s 60,000 residents with electricity.

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Monday, Jun 5, 2000 7:02 PM UTC2000-06-05T19:02:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Mugged by a serpent?

Thieves in New Delhi, India, use snakes to hold up victims.

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That money belt tucked under your shirt isn’t going to do much good if you happen to be held up by a certain type of thief in India’s capital.

According to a BBC report, a group of New Delhi muggers have taken up an ingenious new weapon — snakes. Yes, snakes.

The scheme works like this: A criminal approaches an unsuspecting citizen and places a python around her neck. The python begins to squeeze, and voil` — the victim gives up her money in return for breath and life.

In another popular ruse, a man is approached by a “snake charmer” who threatens him with a hissing asp: Give up the jewelry or risk a poisonous snake bite. Guess which wins.

Many of these robberies have occurred in the light of day, prompting Delhi police to warn the public to “stay clear of snake charmers and people carrying serpents.”

Aye, aye.

Friday, Jun 2, 2000 7:00 PM UTC2000-06-02T19:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Vatican makes French school remove condom machine

Officials claim a dispenser "legitimized behavior which was not acceptable."

A suburban Roman Catholic high school, located outside of Paris, is on the Vatican’s shit list. According to a Reuters report, the private school, after “discussions with students,” installed a condom dispenser. Head teacher Martine Ouerette told the news service that her school’s pupils, young men and women who range in age from 15 to 18, advocated having the controversial machine because they wanted to show that they were responsible adults.

The report did not say if the “priservatifs” flew out of the machine like so many Mars bars, or if they languished inside the dispenser like stale trail mix. No matter, though — the offending prophylactics are all gone now.

After concerned parents notified the Vatican, Roman Catholic officials demanded that the dispenser be taken down, saying that it “took all the sense out of a Catholic education, took responsibility away from students and teachers alike, and legitimized behavior which was not acceptable.”

Ah, yes — but what about l’amour?

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