U.S. Military

A heartbreaking decision

Gay officers must choose between personal happiness and the careers they've spent years building. Second of two parts.

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A heartbreaking decision

Miss Hide & Seek whisks onto the stage gracefully, a stunning blond vision in a flowing black gown. She could easily pass for a woman. Her music blasts on; she spins out, tumbles through a series of cartwheels in 3-inch spike heels and barrels straight into the dressing room wall. She picks herself up, straightens her wig and repeats the maneuver, finding her way to the very same obstacle at the opposite end of the stage. It’s one crash after another, repeated again in her next performance, but she’s truly not playing it for laughs.

Army captain Brett grumbles through the show along with his pack, a mix of military officers and civilians. He enjoys a good drag show, but nobody on this stage is ever going to challenge RuPaul. For a man born in Manila, the Philippines, raised in Seattle and stationed on three continents since joining the Army, Colorado Springs can feel a bit like Mayberry sometimes. But it isn’t the unintentional comedy that bothers them — Ginger’s miniature-football breasts popping out of her lime-green Saran Wrap tube top actually is the highlight of the show — it’s the constant repetition of the same tired routines from the same dozen drag queens, nearly every Friday and Saturday night in the only gay bar in town.

The last diva waves goodbye after last call, just before 2 a.m. The lights go down, the house music goes up and the T-shirts come off. All week they’ve been waiting for this moment, and nobody’s holding back now. Brett sidles up behind a trim young Hispanic, wraps his enormous arms around the thick, sweaty torso, arching the spine back to lower the mouth toward his lips.

And then the strangest thing happens. Straight kids pour in — hundreds of them, small-town girls and boys lined up across the parking lot and around the corner, hyped up for the hottest after-hours, underage club for 70 miles in any direction. No one appears disconcerted. Pretty soon Brett and his buddies are surrounded by swarms of young, tattooed straight couples, writhing unabashedly around bare-chested soldiers grinding in tight little gay-boy clusters.

The scene plays out every Friday and Saturday, with a handful of GIs almost always there. One wrong soldier strolling in with the straight kids could make Brett forget his painful decision to remain in the combat arms. In March he spotted a sergeant from Fort Carson prowling the bar. He kept his distance from his date all night: no close dancing, no holding hands, definitely no making out. But the sergeant was back the next week and several more times, and it has really started to piss Brett off.

“Five weeks he’s been showing up there, and he won’t make a frigging move on anyone,” he says. “I’m not moving till he does.” And months later, toward the end of May, three Air Force sergeants from Marine captain Alex’s unit showed up for after hours.

The after-hours mixed club raises the same puzzling questions as the Thursday Night Club, but ratchets up the stakes several notches. With so many opportunities available for anonymous gay sex, why would the men possibly risk this?

“Personal happiness,” Alex explains. “Optimism for meeting somebody that I can’t bear to be more than 2 feet away from. Finding a soul mate.” Sex is the easy part. Ironically, Brett, Alex and Army captain Drake feel free to revel in all the raunchy gay sex they please. They can find it online, they can find it in Denver, they can quickly stalk Hide & Seek and drag home a trick in a manner of minutes — it really doesn’t take long in a gay bar if sex is all you’re after.

Initially, sex was all they were after. They were perfectly happy with their military lifestyles and had no desire to hang out with a bunch of homos. Except for those urges, increasingly insistent urges, driving bolder and starker fantasies, which they finally had to acknowledge. All three captains put off the urges well into their late 20s. Each one finally sneaked off to a gay bar, touched a man, kissed a man, slept with a man — and eventually returned for another. They were quick, targeted missions — get in, get out, grab your prey and don’t get caught — the standard modus operandi of adult-onset homosexuality.

But once they satisfied those cravings, a whole new set of urges sprang to the surface. The captains have to struggle with the usual social challenges of adulthood — finding a satisfying relationship, developing a close, supportive circle of friends, being all that they can be on the job — from deep inside a closet. This requires a level of secrecy and deception that makes happiness in love, friendship and work virtually impossible. And, cruelly, it also makes promotion through the ranks virtually impossible.

Marine captain Alex’s romantic feelings for men surfaced very quickly. The thoughtful, lean intellectual never touched a man until 1997, but within weeks he broke off a relationship with a woman to pursue the first love of his life. He played it very safe, driving all the way up from San Diego to West Hollywood, Calif., just to have drinks or go dancing. “He was the first person outside my family to say ‘I love you,’” Alex says. But he had nearly completed his assignment, and he found himself shipped out to Colorado before the boyfriend was ready to commit.

Alex attempted the same long-distance tactic in Colorado Springs, essentially setting up a 70-mile, gay-free perimeter around the city. “I completely separated my life,” he says. “Everything I did here was straight-oriented, and I’d go to Denver and it was gay. My friends here at work think I have a completely separate life in Denver.”

His first year fit the classic “slut phase” commonly experienced by gay men just coming out to themselves. “I was a hound dog,” he says. “I was just a predator. I would readily do it again, but there’s no emotional or spiritual satisfaction. It’s purely physical and I’d like more out of it.” He began looking for more, but the distance was too great a barrier. “I wasn’t finding Denver people interested in dating someone living in the Springs,” he says. He discovered a casual weekly dinner group in Boulder that he enjoyed immensely. But though he made the 200-mile round trip frequently, there was no apparent enthusiasm for commuter friendships. Early last year, his frustration drove him to a decision to make his first trip to a gay bar, dropping the gay perimeter. He ventured into Hide & Seek, stopped avoiding locals in the gay-sex chat room and eventually even initiated a Thursday Night Club based on the Boulder model.

Oddly enough, the real breakthrough came in the chat room. He met Brett there one night, hunting for sex. Brett was characteristically cautious. “He had lied to me about who he was and where he worked, and I had been honest,” Alex says of the time they met. “He had a plausible denial or some con game going to avoid detection. He was very suspicious about people and was concerned there was some criminal investigative authority out looking for people.” Alex wasn’t fooled. GIs have their own military version of “gaydar” — the stance, the walk, the bearing and, of course, the haircut — and they rarely have trouble picking one another out of a crowd.

The encounter quickly developed into a tight friendship that dramatically changed both their lives. Brett has developed into a hub of the local gay social scene, and Drake has also entered the social circle through Brett’s continuing online adventures. Drake was scoping out the Springs while still stationed at Fort Bragg last summer, and Brett then served as Drake’s entree into the community when he arrived, acting very much like a commander does for new arrivals in his unit.

Military life is inherently lonely, regardless of sexuality. Brett has relocated six times in nine years, interspersed with 20 extended field trainings and five combat or peacekeeping deployments, from Kuwait to central Europe. Traditionally, soldiers respond by bonding tightly within their units, developing a profound esprit de corps vital to the success of an army. “We tend to be very close-knit,” Brett says. “It’s totally your social circle. We’re a lot like tight immigrant groups or some religious orders. You have an immediate extended family when you arrive.”

But gays often pull away from such circles to guard their secret. “The policy imposes severe isolation by prohibiting them from forming friendships with their straight friends,” says Michelle Benecke, executive director of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network. “A service member plays Russian roulette with their career every time they have a conversation with a friend that straight people take for granted. ‘Hey, what are you doing this weekend? Where do you go to church?’ You can’t say MCC [Metropolitan Community Church, a federation of gay Christian congregations].”

Alex never grasped the full measure of his loneliness until he met Brett. He still speaks wistfully about the early days. “We hung out all the time together, because it was such a relief to find somebody else,” he says. “We talked about military pasts and boyfriend pasts, and optimistic futures. And it was normal, it was nice, it was like having a wingman around.” They introduced each other to entirely new circles of friends — Brett’s in the Springs, Alex’s in Denver — and instilled a mutual confidence in each other that spurred them fully into the gay social scene.

“That was kind of [Brett's] way of getting out,” Alex says. “He was a Net hound. He predominantly did stuff online and didn’t go out. He was very paranoid. And I think he’s eased up quite a bit in the year and a half I’ve known him. He’s not looking over his shoulder all the time. He’s not quite as concerned about being out or being seen out or doing some things that might suggest that he’s gay.”

Less paranoid, but still careful. A dinner party broke up early one night, and I rode to Hide & Seek with Brett, following Drake’s Pathfinder. Drake pulled into the lot and Brett smacked his palm against the steering wheel. “Damn! He pulls right up to the club! And he’s got that freaking vanity plate, screaming out that he’s airborne!” Brett drove around the corner and parked his truck on a dark side street.

They’re all highly active in the local gay scene now. Brett still cruises the chat rooms nearly every day, using a separate account, withholding descriptions until he’s comfortable and sending only headless photos. But that’s fearless compared with some of the soldiers he meets there: Many are still afraid to venture out in public or into Hide & Seek. Brett can’t imagine crawling back into a closet that cramped.

Ironically, the captains have begun to develop a form of the very gay ghettos Drake and Alex disdain so much. They have all reached the conclusion that they’re unlikely to find their soul mate in bed the morning after a night cruising for anonymous sex. Romantic relationships appear near the top of their priority lists, but two other themes keep recurring as they discuss their progression from predator-sluts to gay social butterflies: fulfillment of the camaraderie that drew them to military life and an emerging sense of their own identity.

“I was trying to learn what I was, and what characteristics of men I liked,” Alex says. “It’s not like growing up Hispanic and having a grandmother who teaches you about who you are and where you’ve come from. There is no Hispanic grandmother to teach you about gay culture; each one of us has to learn it for ourselves.

“Some of it has to do with how gay men deal with each other,” he says. “It’s different from the military. I know how men deal with each other in the military.”

Alex has learned a great deal about what it means to be a gay man, but considerably less about being a gay Marine. “I’m really looking forward to the day I meet another Marine in my situation,” he says. “I want to see how [Marines] have adapted to it, how successful they are, if they’re thinking about getting out or staying in, if they agree with the policy or not. How do they maneuver through the obstacles and the lies?

“I feel lonely,” he says. “It doesn’t have to do with the gay thing; it has to do with the Marine thing. How does that change being a Marine for them? Can they contain both ideas in one philosophy and one approach to living?”

Say they do find a boyfriend: then what? The captains have seen several gay peers struggle with relationships but very few success stories.

“Relationships are already difficult in the military,” SLDN’s Benecke says. “Even married heterosexuals who enjoy the full benefit of all the military support services — in recognition that deployments and military life can be so stressful for a relationship — have difficulty making it. Add to that the need to hide your relationship every hour of every day while you’re at work — it makes it extraordinarily difficult to have a healthy relationship over time.”

As hard as it is for a soldier to juggle two separate lives, the strain can be much greater for his partner, who can experience only half of his mate’s life. The captains foresee having to exclude future boyfriends from military social functions — such as poker nights and pool games — having to be careful not to walk the dog together too often or share a cart at the grocery store. “I [will be] making him go back into the closet as well,” Brett says. “He might get tired of it: ‘I don’t have to deal with this!’”

All three captains agree that their boyfriends will have to keep a separate apartment, to which they’ll be relegated from time to time. They’ll have to maintain their guard as strictly as the captains do. One false move in answering the phone when the soldier isn’t home could raise difficult questions back at the base. “Who was that guy that answered your phone? What was he doing in your house when you weren’t there?”

“Talk about isolation!” Benecke says. “The relationship has to take place in a vacuum.”

The isolation intensifies when the soldier leaves for weeks at a time for field training and climaxes during months of deployment in a combat zone overseas. Brett recalls the emotional scenes as the men in his unit left their wives for an unknown destination in the Persian Gulf War.

“I had these grown men crying!” he said. “They never envisioned themselves ever going to war.” While heterosexual wives and husbands have spouses’ clubs to support them, gay partners are on their own. Members of Brett’s platoon faced several Scud missile attacks during their months in the desert, and the panic back home sometimes rose to hysterical proportions. His buddies’ wives were looked after with care packages, visits from the family support group and occasional videoconferences with the soldiers in the field. He wonders how a boyfriend of his would have handled it all alone.

“It’s the worry,” Benecke says. “Every military spouse worries, and the worry [for gays] is exaggerated because they can’t be plugged into the support channels that exist for straight people. Nor are they usually listed on any of the official forms that the military would use to contact the next of kin.” Peacekeeping deployments vary widely in the danger they pose, but six months away from home can strain a relationship regardless of any physical threat. During Brett’s deployments, soldiers were given free “morale calls” to lift spirits during the mission, but also to maintain shaky marriages for the long haul. The calls were made on Army lines, which can be monitored, so he couldn’t have risked calling a boyfriend, he says. And public phones weren’t available in several of the war zones in which he has been deployed. Military e-mail is often available, but it’s also open to Army surveillance.

“The access is limited and conducted in public,” Benecke says. “Everyone knows that you’re not married, so who the heck are you calling [to say 'I love you']?”

A particularly depressing moment for gays in a serious relationship tends to be the arrival home after deployment or training. “All the wives are out there screaming, ‘Oh, honey!’ and the kids are running up to them as they get off the planes or the buses,” Brett says. “And you’re like, ‘Well, I have to see mine at home.’” It may seem like a minor matter to a civilian, but gay service members bring it up repeatedly and emotionally. “It’s a big deal when you’ve been away for a long time, or you’ve been to war and come back,” Brett says. “No one’s here to welcome me!”

But if the loneliness and deception are particularly acute when these gay officers are overseas, it’s with them stateside, too. After all, they spend most of their time with straight service members, and even as they’ve begun to find happiness in the gay social networks they’ve developed and to seek boyfriends, they can’t afford to undermine their straight fronts. Brett, Drake and Alex balance their gay and straight worlds differently — Brett has become an isolationist, Drake’s a juggler, Alex is somewhere in between — but all three are having a hard time feeling comfortable with the emotional trade-offs of their choices.

Drake wasn’t at Hide & Seek the night I first watched the straight kids pour in. He was out with his buddies from the post. He’s constantly juggling the two groups — maintaining two separate social worlds, like a bigamist with one wife resigned to the arrangement. It’s gays one night, military buds the next, some nights ducking out early from the straight night at the pool hall to hit last call at Hide & Seek.

Brett doesn’t have any buddies at Fort Carson. He tried juggling for three years in Italy, but couldn’t stand the constant lying or the threats of exposure every time a buddy asked a routine question about what he’d been up to. With no buddies, there are fewer questions. So he gave up juggling when he transferred to Fort Carson and implemented isolationism, the second strategy popular among gays in the military. He made a conscious decision before his arrival to distance himself from his work mates and spurn any potential friendships.

Alex represents a somewhat murky middle ground between the other two strategies. He began a switch to isolationism a year ago, after having already developed several close relationships at Peterson Air Force Base. He loosened those ties by convincing his work friends that he found Colorado Springs stifling, and shifted all his free time to Denver, routinely spending three to five nights a week up there.

But the constant questions of his juggling strategy still dog him — “What you been up to? What did you do this weekend?” — requiring an elaborate fictional life. “I have to be careful,” Alex says. “I have to be guarded when I come back from a weekend and start talking about where I’ve been or what I’ve done.”

He has spent enough time in Denver’s straight clubs to swap them with the gay bars; dates and tricks are converted to feminine counterparts. “I try to keep it as close to the truth as possible, because if I have to retell the story, I’m not going to stumble over things,” he says. “If some guy has a broad chest, she’s got a rack. A guy named Clay becomes Claire. Everything else pretty much stays the same.”

Eventually Alex came to miss bonding with his straight buddies outside of work, so he reverted to a mild juggling strategy this spring. “You can’t be an isolationist everywhere you go,” he says. “It’s stifling, oppressive; you’ve completely compartmentalized yourself.” He’s also trying to prepare for a very different situation at his next assignment. He’s moving on at the end of April and doesn’t foresee the same freedom he has enjoyed for the past two years.

Drake faces the most constant questions, as he’s fully engaged with his work buddies, splitting his social life nearly 50-50 between the two worlds. But he thought he was safe in Denver, until a disturbing incident the last weekend of February, just a few days after our combative lunch interview in Brett’s kitchen.

A tough-looking guy accosted him on the dance floor at the popular gay dance club Tracks 2000. “Who the fuck are you?” the guy yelled. “I know you, and I know you’re in the Army, too!” That was the end of his career, Drake figured; there’d be no Career Field Designation form to worry about in his future. He recognized the face but couldn’t place it until the guy cracked up.

Drake was only mildly relieved to recognize Jason, his best friend from their lieutenant days in the mid-’90s, giving him a hard time. “It scared the shit out of me,” he says. “Things that involve morality — or someone’s perception of morality — you just don’t know until it’s tested.” Jason had left the Army and had come to Tracks with his girlfriend; Drake was dancing with a date. “And the dude had a hand on the back of my neck.” “Are you here for this?” Jason asked.

“And I’m thinking, ‘Oh, my God! He knows! He knows!’” Drake says. “Well, I guess so,” he answered. “You caught me.”

Same with them, Jason said: great music, great dancing. And then he stepped back a foot — literally and figuratively — and took another look at the situation. “No fucking way!” he yelled. “Are you guys … partners?” And then he was laughing again, hugging Drake. “Don’t worry, don’t worry,” Jason said. And then he took another step back. “You have got to get out of the Army!” he said. “And make yourself happy!”

Brett occasionally betrays misgivings about the all-gay, all-the-time social world he has constructed for himself, but he’s not about to return to juggling. He has doubts about how long a hefty gay social calendar can be successfully juggled. SLDN’s Benecke concurs. “Straight friends are not stupid,” she says. “A concerned straight friend is going to notice that the gay service member is cutting them off at a certain point, and will want to know why. The safer path is to be an isolationist, obviously — but that has its costs as well.”

Like command. Combat command requires total immersion in the lives of your soldiers, Brett says. “You have to spend every waking minute [with your unit]. You’re a mentor, you’re a leader; you’ve got to spend your time with the troops and their families. You give up your life to be a [combat] commander. I really believe that.”

Juggling would be difficult if Brett became a combat commander, but isolationism is of course out of the question. He’d be unlikely to ever receive another combat command if he aroused suspicion by pursuing a full- or even half-gay life.

Drake and Alex have plenty of time to tinker with their strategies. Majors never command, so they’ve each got five to eight years of staff time before they make battalion commander. Unfortunately, Brett’s Career Field Designation form was due by the end of May. He had to decide whether he could beat all the odds and stomach a return to juggling — with a much heavier emphasis on the straight side than the three are enduring now. But if he chose the combat arms and failed to make colonel — whether because of suspicion or confirmation of his gay identity — he’d be forced into early retirement.

But a self-imposed exile to the support services could accommodate a decent amount of juggling, maybe even a mild form of isolationism. “I’m not taking my dental staff into war and having them say, ‘Fight!’” Brett says, imagining a hypothetical operational support role. “I am the commander of the 24th Dental Group! You’re in charge of accountants, or intelligence agents who sit behind a desk and gather intelligence. That [combat] cohesiveness doesn’t exist in those administrative jobs,” he says, so being gay wouldn’t detract so much from his leadership.

Perhaps more important, suspicion of his being gay might not disqualify him from attaining the positions necessary for advancement. “With fighting troops, you’re supposed to exude masculinity and machismo and all that,” he says. “To know that you’re a homo will detract from that. I think that’s one of the fears of the higher-ups. Support commanders are not the ‘Follow me!’ kind of guys. They can get away with [appearing gay] because they’re administrative commanders.”

He could get away with it, but what’s the point? He dreamed of sweeping through the Philippines like Gen. Douglas MacArthur, not bustling around a New Jersey accounting office with a stack of insurance forms.

Alex will never face a Career Field Designation form. The Marines are a specialized service more heavily organized around the infantry. But he has a more immediate dilemma ahead. Alex relocated during the last week of April to a short, temporary assignment. Then he’s off to a duty station, the absolute reverse of the freedom he has enjoyed here: tight quarters, tiny community, with everyone knowing everyone else’s business. “Any [homosexual] contact with anyone is unthinkable,” he says.

So how does he plan to behave, how does he expect to cope? He echoes the themes Brett and Drake keep repeating about their futures: “I don’t know. I don’t live in a hypothetical world, so I don’t know what I’ll do. It’s irrelevant now. Military training says we don’t worry about what we can’t change.”

Drake happily seconds that sentiment. After years of feeling terrified of exposure, he faced one of the worst possible scenarios at Tracks this February, but the would-be disaster proved a turning point in his personal development.

Jason was so supportive that Drake has come out to one straight friend after another since February. “I’ve got six straight friends that routinely go to hockey matches and baseball games and stuff and I’m like their …” He pauses, searches for a way to describe it. “I’m like their queer buddy.”

Since that incident, Drake has spent nearly every weekend with Jason and his girlfriend, and has developed a whole new sense of identity. “They’re the first straight friends that I’ve ever been out to,” he says. “Being with them and being honest with myself has really helped me come to terms with who I am and accept the fact that maybe I am capable of being in love and maybe I’m just adult enough to make it work. It’s a goal. I never had a goal before that involved my love life.”

In April, these friends inspired him to pursue a dormant long-distance romance that had sizzled briefly after a trip to the West Coast last Fourth of July. He has made several trips back this spring, fallen head over heels and lined up his next duty station for the man’s hometown. “It’s the first time it’s ever happened to me,” he says. “And it’s really funny too, because it’s all I think about. It’s pathetic.”

Just before Memorial Day, Drake casually mentions in a final round of follow-up interviews that he has gradually let go of the general’s-star dream. “I would love to make general, but I will never be married and there have only been two nonmarried modern generals,” he says. “I don’t think general is a possibility, but I do think I’ll be a colonel.” He says it so nonchalantly, it’s hard to believe he’s the same blustery guy on the verge of belting me for suggesting the danger over lunch at Brett’s last February.

He lets out a good belly laugh at being reminded of how heated our discussion grew. “I think being acknowledged and accepted has given me pause,” he says. It “has kind of mellowed me out a little bit, to become more accepting of myself and less of a ‘Fuck them all, I’ve got to prove something.’ I will have proved something to myself every time I get promoted and every time I get to a point where I didn’t think I was going to be.”

He has even begun to let go of the idea of “the profession of arms,” though he says that’s strictly based on a profound attraction to a new specialty he began experimenting with last year, not because of his private life. “I could be sort of leaning toward this specialty, but my heart is still in the combat arms,” he says. He says he has “a lot of soul-searching to do” before his own Career Field Designation form is issued.

Suddenly, the man dead certain of every significant goal appears lightheartedly open to serendipity. “I remember when we first started talking, [I was saying,] ‘Hell no! I may be at a crossroads, but by God, my turn indicator is on and I know where I’m going!’ Now I’ve sort of got my hazards on. I could go either way. I have no idea,” Drake says. And he seems absolutely content with the unknown. “Who knows, they may somehow change the gay thing and I’ll be the Army’s first gay general,” he laughs. “I have time on my side right now.”

But in all his reassessments, one position remains absolute. He dismisses Jason’s advice to leave the Army out of hand. “I can’t imagine another way of life,” he says. “It gives me a total sense of purpose. It is why I am.”

Brett can easily imagine civilian life. The military’s esprit de corps is important, but it’s hardly his priority. It’s the profession, not the organization, he’s dying to hold onto. And it’s still possible — all he has to do is marry a mail-order bride, steal away for anonymous sex when she can’t satisfy him and kiss off all the friends who understand his predicament.

The choice is clear: He can let go of any chance at a soul mate, a life partner, or else let go of his lifelong dream. And he doesn’t have Drake’s luxury of another year or two of soul-searching. May 31 was the form-completion deadline, and in the end he made his decision a few weeks early.

“What happened was, I was sitting around one lazy Saturday afternoon, and the stupid CD-ROM was sitting on my desk staring at me,” he said. “I’m like, ‘Fuck, I’ve got to do this! I might as well knock it out.’” He popped in the CD, logged onto the secure Web site and froze up at the keyboard. “I sat there, stared at it for a while, and then I finally started filling it out,” he says. “When it came to actually sending it off — to this is my final answer — at that point, I was like, ‘God, I hope I am doing the right thing. And I hope I’m going to be happy with the decision that I’ve made.’ And that was it.”

He didn’t call his dad or his mentor, Col. Hagen; he didn’t tell Drake or Alex or anyone else. He went to the gym and pumped up his arms. “Just normal business,” he says. Monday morning, he walked into the office and told his commander. That was the first time he actually said it out loud. “Anytime you’re thinking about something, but you don’t finally put it on paper, or something where it can be read by everybody and understood by everybody, that’s when it really hits you,” Brett says. “It’s sort of like coming out, when you vocalize it, and you say, ‘I am gay.’ It’s like that big final step.”

We went clubbing in Denver the next Friday night, started with a leisurely chat over dinner, and he was his usual bubbly self. He didn’t mention it until the next afternoon, when I happened to ask him about it over coffee. How did he finally make the decision? I asked.

The sham-marriage possibility was the first to go. “I sort of eliminated that option because it boils down to being honest,” he says. “I don’t think I could do that. It would be different if I did it before I knew [I was gay], and then you discover it, but it’s a totally different story, knowing.” And after months of agony, the final debate took only seconds. “My realistic side totally took over,” he says. “I came to this very clear realization, like, Who am I kidding? I cannot pursue that [combat] side. It is not realistic.”

Brett will never be MacArthur, but at least he can remain in the Army for the time being. “My profession is changing,” he says. “The ‘want’ part of me was really gunning for [combat].” Instead, he sees himself transitioning from soldier to bureaucrat. “That’s a big change.” He called Col. Hagen a few days later to tell him about his decision and tried to convince his mentor that he was just playing it safe. “Is it worth it to risk the next 10 years trying to pursue [the combat] goal and have nothing to show for it?” he asked. “I have good opportunities to still have a successful career on the support side.” That analysis did play a role in his decision, but it certainly wasn’t the decisive factor.

Col. Hagen just couldn’t make it all add up. “He goes, ‘Well, that makes sense,’” Brett says. “‘But I just don’t understand why you would want to do that. If you’re going to make the Army your career, wouldn’t you want to give yourself the best opportunities of being a general?’ And I go, ‘Yeah,’ and I’m thinking, ‘I’ll never be married. I’m not going to get married just for the sake of my career.’ You need to. You’ve got to have a spouse.”

I ask him the painful question. “So you gave up your profession as a soldier to be gay?”

His head drops. “I guess. I guess you could look at it that way.” He trails off, then perks up with a laugh. “But I’m still a soldier, because I’m still defending my country, I’m still in a uniform.”

He laughs some more, then grows more reflective. “I still think it’s honorable. But [it was] not my original intent. It was my original intent to be a soldier, to stay a soldier, but, hey, something changed in my life.” And he notes that this can happen to people who aren’t gay, too. “It may be that, hey, you have a family, and you’re more devoted to your family so you want to get out of that [combat] role, or you’re going to get out of the military, period.

“Lots of things. People go through changes in their lives. As they mature, value systems change. At one point your military career was everything, but now you realize it’s your family. And for me, now, it’s like, yeah, at one point, the military was everything, but now I’m a little concerned about my life and my personal well-being and my personal happiness. And that’s more important to me than being a general. And that’s the bottom line.”

Dave Cullen is a Denver writer working on a memoir, "In a Boy's Dream."

Don’t ask, don’t tell 2.0

Conservatives in Congress are pushing for new ways to keep discriminating against gay and lesbian soldiers

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Don't ask, don't tell 2.0 (Credit: AP/David Lewis)

People who thought the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” was the final word on discrimination against gay and lesbian soldiers were mistaken. As the House of Representatives debates the National Defense Authorization Act this week, Republicans will push for two amendments to permit the military to discriminate against gay and lesbian service members, using “religious freedom” as a cover.

One amendment, offered by Mississippi Republican Steven Palazzo, would prohibit the use of military property to “officiate, solemnize, or perform a marriage or marriage-like ceremony, involving anything other than the union of one man with one woman,” even on bases in states in which same-sex marriage is legal. Rep. Todd Akin’s, R-Mo., amendment would require the military to “accommodate the conscience and sincerely held moral principles and religious beliefs of the members of the Armed Forces concerning the appropriate and inappropriate expression of human sexuality” and would prohibit “adverse personnel actions” against them.

The amendments are another step in a campaign waged by congressional Republicans, religious right activists and their allies in a new organization, the Chaplain Alliance for Religious Liberty, to protect military chaplains who discriminate against gay and lesbian service members. This campaign — infused with overheated rhetoric about repression and persecution of Christians — has emerged as a key piece of the religious right’s strategy of portraying the Obama administration and its allies as hostile to religion.

House Republicans have sought to portray anti-gay military chaplains as in need of protection to freely express their belief that homosexuality is a sin. Akin’s effort to protect the “conscience” rights of chaplains and religious service members “is trying to solve a problem that does not exist,” Aubrey Sarvis, executive director of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, which fought for DADT repeal, said in a statement. Sarvis added that there are already adequate protections for chaplains’ and other service members’ consciences, and no one is being punished for their personal religious beliefs. Palazzo’s amendment conflicts with Defense Department policy requiring neutral use of facilities, according to SDLN.

Last year, similar amendments in the House version of the NDAA were stripped out in conference committee. But House Republicans have persisted in their push for “religious freedom” against the rights of gay and lesbian service members to be free of discrimination, harassment and stigmatization. It’s a fight, in Akin’s words, against “[t]his liberal agenda” that “has infiltrated our military, where service members and chaplains are facing recrimination for their sincerely held moral and religious beliefs.” Akin claimed that raising “moral or religious concerns” about same sex marriage or the DADT repeal “have become potentially career-ending” for some chaplains and charged that Obama’s support for same-sex marriage “will only add fuel to this fire.”

President Obama’s new position on marriage equality, the anti-gay activists claim, is yet more evidence that the government seeks to repress their religious speech and practices and eventually drive them out of the military.

“In part this was triggered by repeal of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’” said Ron Crews, a retired military chaplain and executive director of the Chaplain Alliance for Religious Liberty. But he, too, tied his group’s activism to the broader claim that Obama is hostile to religious freedom.

“There’s just concern right now about this administration’s seeming lack of understanding of religious liberty issues, and this is just one symptom of that,” Crews told me. He cited the administration’s contraception coverage policy as another example. Since senior Defense Department officials are political appointees, he added, the legislative efforts are an attempt to “counterbalance” administration policy.

The Chaplain Alliance is made up of retired chaplains who are now “endorsing agents” for active military chaplains serving as representatives of their religious group or denomination. The Alliance is entirely Christian and represents 2,500 active chaplains, said Crews.

The military, said Crews, “has become another laboratory for social engineering” as the DADT repeal “validated behavior in the military that a good number of faith groups acknowledge as sinful behavior and so the government has put its stamp of approval on behavior that faith groups find sinful and harmful, actually, to the individual and to the broader society.”

To advocates for the rights of non-theists and non-Christians to be free from evangelism in the military, though, the military chaplains’ complaints ring hollow. “Chaplains are senior officers with their commanders’ ear, unfettered access to service members, and the right to preach their beliefs from the pulpit,” said Jason Torpy, president of the Military Association of Atheists and Freethinkers, which opposes the amendments and has worked to end discrimination against non-theists in the military. The MAAF has documented and advocated against aggressive evangelizing in the military, including command promotion of prayer, disparagement of non-believers, religious counseling and “spiritual fitness” programs (which promote Christianity as an essential part of military service), evangelical concerts and baptism of troops.

“These amendments are intended to give chaplains the additional power to force their beliefs on others by belittling and ridiculing fellow service members,” Torpy added. “When did the honorable concept of free exercise of religion give way to the free infliction of religion?”

“We think the language they have put forth would allow people the license to bully, and then blame it on their religion requires them to do this,” said Edwina Rogers, executive director of the Secular Coalition for America, which also opposes the amendments.

The Chaplain Alliance claims, however, that chaplains are the ones at risk of being bullied. In a letter to the House Armed Services Committee supporting a similar, stand-alone bill, the Military Religious Freedom Protection Act, the Chaplain Alliance ominously warned of a “hostility” to the chaplaincy that could cause them to lose their endorsements “because of their inability to preach, teach, or share with their fellow servants the full counsel of God,” leading to a “constitutional crisis” because “the military cannot function without the chaplaincy, much less a partial chaplaincy.”

But when I asked Crews about retaliation, he said, “we have not had any chaplains reprimanded as yet for anything they’ve said in the pulpit,” and admitted there are protections for chaplains speaking at a worship service. But, he added, “we’re not just concerned with what happens inside the walls of the chapel,” but with “the overall ministry of a chaplain.”

Crews pointed to the Strong Bonds program, which sponsors military retreats to help service members “strengthen” their marriages under the stress of multiple deployments. “The question becomes will chaplains be required to take same-sex soldiers on those retreats if the chaplain upholds the view of the definition of marriage from a biblical perspective that marriage is between one man and one woman. We’re just waiting right now for an incident to occur. This is one of the unknowns.”

Crews’ worry that chaplains will be forced, against their religious beliefs, to provide marriage counseling to same-sex couples underscores how the religious right has disregarded the Establishment Clause as it complains of religious persecution. Strong Bonds, which uses Christian materials, has long been a target of criticism from the Secular Coalition, the MAAF, and other advocates of church-state separation, for using federal money to lecture service members with sectarian religious advice.

Several years ago, Laurel Williams, an Army major who attended a Strong Bonds retreat in Orlando, Fla., in 2008, showed me an array of evangelistic materials she received there. One item was a book by Gary Chapman, described as the “leading biblical marriage counselor in the U.S.,” whose phrase “love your partner like Jesus loved the church was repeated over and over throughout the weekend seminar,” Williams told me. One book used in the program promised its readers that “you can be equipped to develop an affair with the one and only lover who can satisfy all your innermost desires: Jesus Christ.”

Torpy, of the military atheist group, obtained a copy of a strategy memorandum sent by an Akins aide to House staff and several religious right leaders, which shows Republicans decided to offer two separate amendments because it “gives us the strongest hand going into conference with the Senate.”

But Rogers said she had “high hopes” that the Senate would not adopt the amendments, even if they are passed by the House, and that they would once again be removed in conference. “To roll the clock back and say, now you can discriminate based on what you believe,” said Rogers, “sounds like a serious problem.” But discriminating based on their religion is exactly what the “religious freedom” crusaders want to achieve, and it doesn’t look like they’re going to give up any time soon.

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Sarah Posner is the senior editor of Religion Dispatches, where she writes about politics. She is also the author of God's Profits: Faith, Fraud, and the Republican Crusade for Values Voters" (PoliPoint Press, 2008).

America’s real Hunger Games

Young people are already being sacrificed at the whims of the 1%. Just look at Iraq and Afghanistan

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America's real Hunger GamesU.S. Army soldiers respond after a suicide attack on the US..-led provincial reconstruction team (PRT) compound in the Behsood district of Jalalabad, east of Kabul Afghanistan, on Sunday, April 15, 15 2012. (Credit: AP Phot/Rahmat Gul)
This piece originally appeared on TomDispatch.

When I was growing up, I ate books for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and since I was constantly running out of reading material, I read everyone else’s — which for a girl with older brothers meant science fiction. The books were supposed to be about the future, but they always turned out to be very much about this very moment.

Some of them — Robert Heinlein’s “Stranger in a Strange Land” — were comically of their time: that novel’s vision of the good life seemed to owe an awful lot to the Playboy Mansion in its prime, only with telepathy and being nice added in. Frank Herbert’s “Dune” had similarly sixties social mores, but its vision of an intergalactic world of disciplined desert jihadis and a great game for the substance that made all long-distance transit possible is even more relevant now.  Think: drug cartels meet the oil industry in the deep desert.

We now live in a world that is wilder than a lot of science fiction from my youth. My phone is 58 times faster than IBM’s fastest mainframe computer in 1964 (calculates my older brother Steve) and more powerful than the computers on the Apollo spaceship we landed on the moon in 1969 (adds my nephew Jason). Though we never got the promised jetpacks and the Martians were a bust, we do live in a time when genetic engineers use jellyfish genes to make mammals glow in the dark and nerds in southern Nevada kill people in Pakistan and Afghanistan with unmanned drones.  Anyone who time-traveled from the sixties would be astonished by our age, for its wonders and its horrors and its profound social changes. But science fiction is about the present more than the future, and we do have a new science fiction trilogy that’s perfect for this very moment.

Sacrificing the Young in the Arenas of Capital

“The Hunger Games,” Suzanne Collins’s bestselling young-adult novel and top-grossing blockbuster movie, is all about this very moment in so many ways. For those of you hiding out deep in the woods, it’s set in a dystopian future North America, a continent divided into downtrodden, fearful districts ruled by a decadent, luxurious oligarchy in the Capitol. Supposedly to punish the districts for an uprising 74 years ago, but really to provide Roman-style blood and circuses to intimidate and distract, the Capitol requires each district to provide two adolescent Tributes, drawn by lottery each year, to compete in the gladiatorial Hunger Games broadcast across the nation.

That these 24 youths battle each other to the death with one lone victor allowed to survive makes it like — and yet not exactly like — high school, that concentration camp for angst and competition into which we force our young. After all, even such real-life situations can be fatal: witness the gay Iowa teen who took his life only a few weeks ago after being outed and taunted by his peers, not to speak of the epidemic of other suicides by queer teens that Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” website, film and books aspire to reduce.

But really, in this moment, the cruelty of teens to teens is far from the most atrocious thing in the land. “The Hunger Games” reminds us of that.  Its Capitol is, of course, the land of the 1 percent, a sort of amalgamation of Fashion Week, Versailles and the KGB/CIA. Collins’s timely trilogy makes it clear that the 1 percent, having created a system of deeply embedded cruelty, should go, something highlighted by the surly defiance of heroine Katniss Everdeen — Annie Oakley, Tank Girl and Robin Hood all rolled into one – who refuses to be disposed of.

Now, in our world, gladiatorial entertainment and the disposability of the young are mostly separate things (except in football, boxing, hockey and other contact sports that regularly result in brain damage and sometimes even in death). But while the Capitol is portrayed as brutal for annually sacrificing 23 teenagers from the Districts, what about our own Capitol in the District of Columbia? It has a war or two on, if you hadn’t noticed.

In Iraq, 4,486 mostly young Americans died.  If you want to count Iraqis (which you should indeed want to do), the deaths of babies, children, grandmothers, young men and others total more than 106,000 by the most conservative count, hundreds of thousands by others. Even the lowest numbers represent enough kill to fill nearly 5,000 years of Hunger Games.

Then, of course, there are thousands more Americans who were so grievously wounded they might have died in previous conflicts, but are now surviving with severe brain damage, multiple missing limbs, or other profound mutilations. And don’t forget the trauma and mental illness that mostly goes unacknowledged and untreated or the far more devastating Iraqi version of the same. And never mind Afghanistan, with its own grim numbers and horrific consequences.

Our wartime carnage has been on a grand scale, but it hasn’t been on television in any meaningful way; it’s generally been semi-hidden by most of the American media and the government, which censored images of returning coffins, corpses, civilian casualties and anything else uncomfortable (though in our science-fiction era when every phone is potentially a video camera, the leakage has still been colossal). Most of us did a good job of being distracted by other things — including reality TV, of course.  The U.S. Ambassador and military commander in Afghanistan were furious not that our soldiers struck jokey poses with severed limbs, but that the Los Angeles Times dared to publish them last month. And those whistleblowers who took the effort to reveal the little men behind the throne are facing severe punishment.  Witness one Hunger-Games-style hero, Bradley Manning, the slight young soldier turned alleged leaker, long held in inhumane conditions and now facing a potential life sentence.

The Return of Debt Peonage

In “The Hunger Games,” kids in poor families take out extra chances in their District lottery — that is, extra chances to die — in return for extra food rations; in ours, poor kids enlist in the military to feed their families and maybe escape economic doom. Many are seduced by military recruiters who stalk them in high school with promises as slippery as those the slave trade uses to recruit poor young women for sex work abroad.

And then there’s another form of debt peonage that is far more widespread in our strange and ever-changing land: student loans. The young are constantly told that only a college education can give them a decent future. Then they’re told that, to pay for it, they need to go into debt — usually into five figures, sometimes well into six. And these debts are, in turn, governed by special laws that don’t allow you to declare bankruptcy — no matter what.  In other words, they are guaranteed to follow you all your life.

One of my close friends wept when her husband began to earn enough money to pay off her $45,000 loan, structured so that it looked like she would continue to pay interest on it for the rest of her life; not so dissimilar, that is, from the debts sharecroppers and workers in company towns used to incur.

In other words, we’re creating a new generation of debt peonage. And she’s not the worst case by far. Early in the Occupy Wall Street moment, she told me, someone arrived at Zuccotti Park in downtown Manhattan with markers and cardboard on which participants were to write their debt.  What shocked her was how many of the occupiers in their early twenties were already carrying huge debt burdens.

According to the website for Occupy Student Debt, 36,000,000 Americans have student debts.  These have increased more than fivefold since 1999, creating a debt load that’s approaching a trillion dollars, with students borrowing $96 billion more every year to pay for their educations. Two-thirds of college students find themselves in this trap nowadays. As commentator Malcolm Harris put it in N + 1 magazine:

Since 1978, the price of tuition at U.S. colleges has increased over 900 percent, 650 points above inflation. To put that number in perspective, housing prices, the bubble that nearly burst the U.S. economy, then the global one, increased only fifty points above the Consumer Price Index during those years. But… wages for college-educated workers outside of the inflated finance industry have stagnated or diminished. Unemployment has hit recent graduates especially hard, nearly doubling in the post-2007 recession. The result is that the most indebted generation in history is without the dependable jobs it needs to escape debt.

About a third are already in default. You can only hope that this bubble will burst in a wildcat strike against student debt, and if we’re lucky, a move to force tuition lower and have a debt jubilee.

The rest of us, the 99 percent, need to remember that, when it comes to public education, the crisis has everything to do with slashed tax rates — to the wealthy and corporations in particular — over the last 30 years. We went into bondage so that they might be free. Getting an education to make your way out of poverty and maybe expand your mind is becoming another way of being trapped forever in poverty. For too many, there’s no way out of the hunger labyrinth.

The Labyrinths of Poverty

Which brings us to the hungriest in our 2012 real-life version of the Hunger Games: the poor. The wealthiest and most powerful nation the world has ever seen is full of hungry people. You know it, and you know why. In this vast, bountiful, food-producing, food-wasting nation, it’s a crisis of distribution, also known as economic inequality, described at last with clarity and force by the Occupy movement.

One of the sad and moving spectacles of camps like Occupy Oakland last year was the way they became de facto soup kitchens as the homeless and hungry came out of the shadows for the chance at a decent meal. Some of the camps had really dedicated chefs who cooked superbly.  They also had rudimentary medical clinics where the poor received the healthcare they couldn’t get anywhere else.

We are in a new era of desperation, when lots of people who were getting by these last several decades aren’t anymore. There are no jobs, or the jobs available pay so abysmally that workers can barely survive on them.

Of course, we do have one arena in which meals are guaranteed, and the population there keeps growing. Six million Americans live there, and it often does get gladiatorial inside. It’s called prison, and we have the highest percentage of prisoners per population in the world, higher than in the U.S.SR gulags under Stalin. Half of them are there for drug offenses, 80 percent of those for simple possession.

Which, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, hasn’t stopped the flow of drugs meant to numb the pain we’re so good at creating here.  We should create a measure for Gross National Suffering (GNS) before we even think about the Gross National Happiness they measure in Bhutan.

And once our prisoners get out, they’re a stigmatized caste, uniquely ill-suited to survival in this economy — speaking of hunger, debt, poverty, being branded for life and hopelessness. Like universities, prisons are profitable industries, though not for the human beings who are the raw material they process.  In this age, both systems seem increasingly like so many factories.

In the Shadow of 900 Tornados

But if you want to think about all the ways we’re dooming the young, there’s one that puts the others in the shade, a form of destruction that includes not just American youth, or human youth, but all species everywhere, from coral reefs to caribou. That’s climate change, of course.

Our failure to do anything adequate about it has rocketed us into the science-fiction world Bill McKibben so eloquently warned us about in his 2010 book “Eaarth.” His argument is that we’ve so altered the planet we live on that we might as well have landed on a new one (with an extra “a” in its name), more turbulent and far less hospitable than the beautiful Holocene one we trashed.

There were 160 tornados reported on March 2nd of this year. Remember that, in April of 2011, 900 tornadoes were ripping up interior United States, and this April was similarly volatile.  Remember the unprecedented wildfires, the catastrophic floods, the heat waves, the bizarrely hot North American January and other oddities? That’s science fiction of the scariest sort, and we’re in it. Or on it, on the crazy new planet we’ve made ourselves. Here in the U.S.A sector of Eaarth in the year 2012, 15,000 high-temperature records were broken in March alone, and summer is yet to come. A town in north-central Texas hit 111 degrees — in April! What turbulent planet is this?

One grain of good news: a lot of us, even in this country, finally seem to be of aware of the strangeness of the planet we’re now on. As the New York Times reported, a new survey “shows that a large majority of Americans believe that this year’s unusually warm winter, last year’s blistering summer, and some other weather disasters were probably made worse by global warming. And by a 2-to-1 margin, the public says the weather has been getting worse, rather than better, in recent years.”

If you want to talk about hunger, talk about the unprecedented flooding that’s turned Pakistan from one of the world’s breadbaskets into a net food-importing nation, with dire consequences for the agricultural poor. Talk about China’s many impending ecological disasters, its degraded soil, contaminated air and water, its many systems ready to collapse. There’s more disruption of food production to come, a lot more, and lots more hunger, too.

Around this point in science fiction books and even history books, a revolution seems necessary. The good news I have for you this May Day is that it’s underway.

Revolution 2012

2011 was the year of strange weather, but it was also the year of global uprisings, and they’re far from over. They erupted in Russia, Israel, Spain, Greece, Britain, much of the Arab-speaking world, parts of Africa and Chile, among other spots in Latin America (some of which got their revolutions underway earlier in the millennium). Uprisings have blossomed even in what the rest of the hungry world sees as the elite Capitol, the United States and much of the English-speaking world, from London to New Zealand.

Remember that revolution doesn’t look much like revolution used to. That might be the most retrograde aspect of the very violent “Hunger Games” trilogy, the way in which the author’s imagination travels along conventional or old-fashioned lines. There, violence is truly the arbitrator of power, along with cunning, whether in the ways the teenagers survive in the gladiatorial arena or the Capitol, or how both sides operate in conflicts between the Districts and the Capitol. In our own world, the state is very good at violence, whether in its wars overseas or in pepper-spraying and clubbing young demonstrators. You’ll notice, however, that neither the Iraqis, nor the Afghanis, nor the Occupiers were subjugated by these means.

Violence is not power, as Jonathan Schell makes strikingly clear in “The Unconquerable World,” it’s what the state uses when we are not otherwise under control. In addition, when we speak of “nonviolence” as an alternative to violence, we can’t help but underestimate our own power.  That word, unfortunately, sounds like it’s describing an absence, a polite refraining from action, when what’s at stake — as demonstrators around the world proved last year — is a force to be reckoned with; so call it “people power” instead.

When we come together as civil society to exercise this power, regimes tremble and history is made. Not instantly and not exactly according to plan, but who ever expected that?

Still, many regimes have been toppled by this power, and the capacity to do so is ours in the present.  As Erica Chenoweth and Maria Stephan point out in their recent “Why Civil Resistance Works: The Strategic Logic of Nonviolent Conflict“, since 1900 people-power campaigns have been successful in achieving regime change more than twice as often as violent campaigns.

It’s May Day, a worldwide General Strike has been called, and last week tiny Occupy Norman (Oklahoma) announced that it “had won a major battle”: their city is moving all its money out of Bank of America into a local bank. Last fall’s Move Your Money campaign included city money from the outset and quiet victories like this could begin to reshape our economic landscape. Activism in the streets is so intimidating that next month’s G8 Summit scheduled for Chicago will hole up at Camp David instead.

Meanwhile last week, both the Wells Fargo and General Electric shareholders’ meetings were under siege from Occupy activists.  The Wells Fargo meeting and protests took place in San Francisco, and afterward an arrested friend of mine posted this on Facebook: “I forgot to mention that Max gave me the Hunger Games salute in jail today. It was awesome.”

In this way do fiction and reality meld in misery and triumph as, this very day, janitors in California go out on strike and even Golden Gate Bridge workers will be protesting. May Day actions are planned across the globe.

Still alive and kicking, Occupy is chipping away in a thousand places at the status quo. 350.org, the little organization that defeated the Keystone XL Pipeline (so far), is holding a global Climate Impacts Day on May 5th and plans to take on the petroleum industry in its next round of actions.

Of course, this is only a beginning, and the banking and oil companies, the 1 percent, and the prison and education rackets are more than capable of pushing back.  So we need one more tool in our arsenal, and that’s a picture of what we want, of what a better world looks like. McKibben’s “Eaarth” and “Deep Economy” offer such a picture, as does William Morris’s “News from Nowhere,” even 120-odd years later, but we won’t get that from “The Hunger Games,” which, for all its thrilling, subversive and surly delights, is all dystopia all the way home. We may still get it, however, on our stranger-than-fiction planet.

May Day is a day of liberation — a day to be seized and celebrated, a day to remember who was shot down on it and who fought for it.  It’s a day to join those who fought and fight for liberation, to imagine what its most delicious and profound possibilities might look like.

So skip work, flip a bird at the Capitol, commit your deepest love and solidarity to the young whose lives are being gambled away, feed the hungry, take a long look at how beautiful our planet still is, find your way into solidarity and people power, and dream big about other futures. Resistance is one of your obligations, but it’s also a pleasure and a way of stealing back hope.

To stay on top of important articles like these, sign up to receive the latest updates from TomDispatch.com here.

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Rebecca Solnit grew up in California public libraries and is thrilled to be revisiting them all over the state as part of the Cal Humanities California Reads project, which is now featuring five books, including her A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities That Arise in Disaster.

Conservatives mad at liberal media, Obama over Afghanistan photos

Confused right-wing responses to a grisly scandal

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Conservatives mad at liberal media, Obama over Afghanistan photosU.S. Army soldiers from 4-73 Cavalry Regiment, 82nd Airborne Division walk during a mission in Zhary district of Kandahar province, southern Afghanistan April 17, 2012(Credit: REUTERS/Baz Ratner)

The L.A. Times Wednesday published photos of American troops in Afghanistan posing and grinning with the body parts of dead Afghan insurgents. There are 18 photos in all of soldiers posing with human remains, all from 2010, and the Times published two of them. The newspaper received the photos from a soldier in the unit depicted, who, according to Times editors, sought to publicize “dysfunction in discipline and a breakdown in leadership that compromised the safety of the troops.”

The L.A. Times informed the Pentagon of its story and waited 72 hours before publishing. The Army, notably, had not launched a criminal investigation into the troops responsible for the photos until the Times contacted them. The Obama administration and the Pentagon have both condemned the soldiers responsible for the pictures, but also expressed disappointment in the Times for publishing them. Wired’s Spencer Ackerman refers to the photos as “yet another unforced error” for U.S. forces in Afghanistan. It’s a depressing and disturbing story, from a long and miserable war.

It’s also an opportunity, obviously, for various nuts to write asinine and offensive things.

Ralph Peters, a retired Army lieutenant colonel currently employed by the right-wing media as a cartoonish satire of bloodthirsty jingoist militarism, declared on Fox that he was furious not with the soldiers who created the disturbing photos, but with a military leadership that refused to “stand up” for our troops by not investigating them for crimes they commit. He also, naturally, blamed the liberal media:

“The real scandal is that the L.A. Times, desperate to survive, creates a scandal, publishes those pictures over the Pentagon’s objections. The real scandal is that the establishment media leaps on another chance to trash our troops. The worst of the scandal is that our leaders, in and out of uniform, rush to condemn our troops – no explanation, no context.”

“I suggest the White House spokesman Jay Carney join the military and see what it’s like himself before he condemns our troops,” Peters continued. “I’m especially appalled that those in uniform, General [John R.] Allen, our commander in Afghanistan, just jumped to trash our troops.”

(Peters, by the way, never actually saw combat during his years in the Army. That obviously doesn’t disqualify him from commenting on matters of war, but it ought to disqualify him from commenting that only people with armed forces experience can comment on matters of war.)

The “real scandal,” as ever, is not the actual scandalous thing. It’s some other thing, related to Obama’s secret radicalism or fetish for apologizing for America’s greatness, or the liberal media’s apparent hatred of our fighting boys in uniform.

At the National Review’s the Corner today, David French reports that the real scandal is not that these soldiers desecrated bodies, nor even necessarily that the L.A. Times published the photos, but that the L.A. Times didn’t publish some other thing, four years ago, that would’ve proved that Barack Obama is a Muslim, or just a guy who likes Muslims a little too much.

Let’s just reprint the whole thing because it’s a classic of the genre:

If there’s one thing that’s utterly predictable during the course of our war, it’s that major journalistic outlets will publish stories that shame our troops or place them at greater risk — but only after very public (and comically insincere) hand-wringing. I wonder … if any Afghan soldiers turn their weapons on their American allies as a reprisal, will the Times editors at least send flowers to the families of the fallen? Perhaps a card? “We’re sincerely sorry that our journalistic ‘ethics’ led to the death of your husband/wife/son/daughter, but there was a vital need to cast our war effort in a negative light. After all, the New York Times leads us in Pulitzers at the moment, and nothing says ‘Pulitzer’ like exposing two-years-old wrongdoing by privates.”

Did the soldier who sent the photos to the L.A. Times do so in order to help that struggling newspaper win a Pulitzer, do you think? Or did he do so because he is some sort of self-hating troop who wants troops like himself to be killed?

But if you’re one of those courageous and fearless “let’s tell the raw truth, and let the chips fall where they may” types, and you’re tempted to respect the L.A. Times for its journalistic integrity, let me remind you of a time when the newspaper showed restraint: When it decided — in the midst of a hotly contested presidential campaign — not to publish a videotape of Barack Obama praising former PLO spokesman Rashid Khalidi at a 2003 dinner. After all, that’s just a future president discussing one of the world’s most hot-button geopolitical issues (with a bonus appearance by applauding domestic terrorists). Move along. Nothing to see there.

The reason French knows about this shocking tape of Barack Obama praising a well-respected Columbia professor is because the L.A. Times reported on it, in great detail, repeatedly, in 2008. It didn’t release the video because its source gave them the video on the condition that they not release it. I assume the soldier who sent these Afghanistan photos did so on something like the opposite condition.

Finally, the sad lost children of Breitbart belatedly weighed in with this Big Peace post making an argument that I can’t quite follow. It is something like “the media and John McCain were mean to Donald Rumsfeld after Abu Ghraib which totally wasn’t even a big deal and it wasn’t Rumsfeld’s fault so it it will be hypocrisy if they don’t blame Obama for this thing.”

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

The army’s new photo scandal

Photos released by the LA Times show American troops posing with the corpses of Afghan suicide bombers

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The army's new photo scandalIn a cropped version of a photo released by the LA Times, a soldier from the Army's 82nd Airborne Division with the body of an Afghan insurgent killed while trying to plant a roadside bomb (Credit: Los Angeles Times)
This article originally appeared on GlobalPost.

The Los Angeles Times released photos on Wednesday showing American troops posing with the mangled corpses of Afghan suicide bombers, leading the Pentagon to issue a strongly worded statement condemning the actions in the pictures, which were taken in 2010.

Global PostThe photos were provided to the newspaper by a soldier distressed about the actions of his division. He sent 18 photos saying they pointed “to a breakdown in leadership and discipline that he believed compromised the safety of the troops,” the newspaper wrote. The Army requested the newspaper withhold the images.

In a statement, the Pentagon said, “The secretary is also disappointed that despite our request not to publish these photographs, the Los Angeles Times went ahead. The danger is that this material could be used by the enemy to incite violence against U.S. and Afghan service members in Afghanistan.” The Pentagon promised to take all measures necessary to protect troops from a public backlash.

“These images by no means represent the values or professionalism of the vast majority of U.S. troops serving in Afghanistan today,” Pentagon spokesman George Little said.

The LA Times quoted its editor, Davan Maharaj, as saying, “After careful consideration, we decided that publishing a small but representative selection of the photos would fulfill our obligation to readers to report vigorously and impartially on all aspects of the American mission in Afghanistan, including the allegation that the images reflect a breakdown in unit discipline that was endangering U.S. troops.”

The U.S. military is still reeling from the January release of a video showing Marines urinating on Afghan corpses, and riots in February following the news that troops burned copies of the Quran, Islam’s holy book. Those riots killed 30 Afghans and six Americans. In March, Army sergeant Robert Bales went on a shooting rampage and killed 17 Afghan civilians, including 9 children. Bales has been charged with 17 counts of premeditated murder, according to the Associated Press.

CNN reported that the paper told the Pentagon about the pictures in March, which resulted in a criminal investigation.

George Wright, an Army spokesman, said, “such actions fall short of what we expect of our uniformed service members in deployed areas,” according to the LA Times.

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Tim Fitzsimons is a freelance print, photo and radio journalist based in Washington, D.C.

Afghanistan syndrome

Today's endless war has overtaken Vietnam in our collective consciousness as America's great military nightmare

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Afghanistan syndromeWounded U.S. soldiers lie on the ground at the scene of a suicide attack in Maimanah, the capital of Faryab province north of Kabul, Afghanistan on Wednesday, April 4, 2012 (Credit: AP Photo/Gul Buddin Elham)
This piece originally appeared on TomDispatch.

Take off your hat. Taps is playing. Almost four decades late, the Vietnam War and its post-war spawn, the Vietnam Syndrome, are finally heading for their American grave.  It may qualify as the longest attempted burial in history.  Last words — both eulogies and curses — have been offered too many times to mention, and yet no American administration found the silver bullet that would put that war away for keeps.

Richard Nixon tried to get rid of it while it was still going on by “Vietnamizing” it.  Seven years after it ended, Ronald Reagan tried to praise it into the dustbin of history, hailing it as “a noble cause.” Instead, it morphed from a defeat in the imperium into a “syndrome,” an unhealthy aversion to war-making believed to afflict the American people to their core.

A decade later, after the U.S. military smashed Saddam Hussein’s army in Kuwait in the First Gulf War, George H.W. Bush exulted that the country had finally “kicked the Vietnam Syndrome once and for all.” As it turned out, despite the organization of massive “victory parades” at home to prove that this hadn’t been Vietnam redux, that war kicked back.  Another decade passed and there were H.W.’s son W. and his advisors planning the invasion of Iraq through a haze of Vietnam-constrained obsessions.

W.’s top officials and the Pentagon would actually organize the public relations aspect of that invasion and the occupation that followed as a Vietnam opposite’s game — no “body counts” to turn off the public, plenty of embedded reporters so that journalists couldn’t roam free and (as in Vietnam) harm the war effort, and so on. The one thing they weren’t going to do was lose another war the way Vietnam had been lost. Yet they managed once again to bog the U.S. military down in disaster on the Eurasian mainland, could barely manage to win a heart or a mind, and even began issuing body counts of the enemy dead.

“We don’t do body counts,” General Tommy Franks, Afghan War commander, had insisted in 2001, and as late as November 2006, the president was still expressing his irritation about Iraq to a group of conservative news columnists this way: “We don’t get to say that — a thousand of the enemy killed or whatever the number was. It’s happening. You just don’t know it.”  The problem, he explained, was: “We have made a conscious effort not to be a body count team” (à la Vietnam). And then, of course, those body counts began appearing.

Somehow, over the endless years, no matter what any American president tried, The War — that war — and its doppelganger of a syndrome, a symbol of defeat so deep and puzzling Americans could never bear to fully take it in, refused to depart town. They were the ghosts on the battlements of American life, representing — despite the application of firepower of a historic nature — a defeat by a small Asian peasant land so unexpected that it simply couldn’t be shaken, nor its “lessons” learned.

National Security Advisor Henry Kissinger was typical at the time in dismissing North Vietnam in disgust as “a little fourth rate power,” just as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Admiral Thomas Moorer would term it “a third-rate country with a population of less than two counties in one of the 50 states of the United States.” All of which made its victory, in some sense, beyond comprehension.

A Titleholder for Pure, Long-Term Futility

That was then. This is now and, though the frustration must seem familiar, Washington has gotten itself into a situation on the Eurasian mainland so vexing and perplexing that Vietnam has finally been left in the dust. In fact, if you hadn’t noticed — and weirdly enough no one has — that former war finally seems to have all but vanished.

If you care to pick a moment when it first headed for the exits, when we all should have registered something new in American consciousness, it would undoubtedly have been mid-2010 when the media decided that the Afghan War, then 8½ years old, had superseded Vietnam as “the longest war” in U.S. history. Today, that claim has become commonplace, even though it remains historically dubious (which may be why it’s significant).

Afghanistan is, in fact, only longer than Vietnam if you decide to date the start of the American war there to 1964, when Congress passed the Tonkin Gulf Resolution (in place of an actual declaration of war), or 1965, when American “combat troops” first arrived in South Vietnam. By then, however, there were already 16,000 armed American “advisors” there, Green Berets fighting there, American helicopters flying there. It would be far more reasonable to date America’s war in Vietnam to 1961, the year of its first official battlefield casualty and the moment when the Kennedy administration sent in 3,000 military advisors to join the 900 already there from the Eisenhower years. (The date of the first American death on the Vietnam Wall, however, is 1956, and the first American military man to die in Vietnam — an American lieutenant colonel mistaken by Vietnamese guerrillas for a French officer — was killed in Saigon in 1945.)

Of course, massive U.S. support for the French version of the Vietnam War in the early 1950s could drive that date back further.  Similarly, if you wanted to add in America’s first Afghan War, the CIA-financed anti-Soviet war of the mujahideen from 1980 to 1989, you might once again have a “longest war” competition.

The essential problem in dating wars these days is that we no longer declare them, so they just tend to creep up on us.  In addition, because undeclared war has melded into something like permanent war on the American scene, we might well be setting records every day on the Eurasian mainland — if, for instance, you care to include the First Gulf War and the continued military actions against Saddam Hussein’s Iraq which, after 2001, blended into the Bush administration’s Global War on Terror, its invasion of Afghanistan, and then, of course, Iraq (again).

For those who want a definitive “longest,” however, the latest news is promising.  Obama administration negotiations with Afghan President Hamid Karzai’s government are reportedly close to complete. The two sides are expected to arrive at a “strategic partnership” agreement leaving U.S. forces (trainers, advisors, special operations troops and undoubtedly scads of private contractors) ensconced on bases in Afghanistan well beyond 2014.  If such official desire becomes reality, then the Vietnam record might indeed be at an end.

What’s important, however, isn’t which war holds the record, but that media urge in 2010 to anoint Afghanistan the titleholder for pure long-term futility.  In retrospect, that represented a changing-of-the-guard moment.

Now, skip ahead almost two years and consider what’s missing in action today.  After all, dealing with the Afghan War in Vietnam-analogy terms right now would be like lining up ducks at a shooting gallery.  Just take a run through the essential Vietnam War checklist: there’s “quagmire” (check!); dropping the idea of winning “hearts and minds” (check!); the fact that we’ve entered the “Afghanization” phase of the war, with endless rosy prognostications about, followed by grim reports on, the training of the Afghan army to replace U.S. combat troops (check!).

There are those sagging public opinion polls about the war, dropping steadily into late-Vietnam territory (check!); the continued insistence of American military officials that “progress” is being made in the face of disaster and disintegration (not quite “light at the end of the tunnel” territory, but nonetheless a check! for sure).

There are those bomb-able, or in our era drone-able, “sanctuaries” across the border (check!); American massacre stories, most recently a one-man version of My Lai (check!); a prickly leader who irritates his American counterparts and is seen as an obstacle to success (check!), and so on — and on and on.

While the Afghan War has always had its many non-Vietnam aspects — geographical, historical, geopolitical and in terms of casualties — anyone could have had a Vietnam field day with the present situation.  At almost any previous moment in the last decades, many undoubtedly would have, and yet what’s striking is that this time around no one has.  Unlike any administration since the Nixon years, nobody in Obama’s crowd now seems to have Vietnam obsessively on the brain.

What was taken as the last significant reference to the war from a major official came from Bush holdover Secretary of Defense Robert Gates.  In February 2011, four months before he left the Pentagon, Gates gave a “farewell” address at West Point in which he told the cadets, “[I]n my opinion, any future defense secretary who advises the president to again send a big American land army into Asia or into the Middle East or Africa should ‘have his head examined,’ as General MacArthur so delicately put it.”  This, press reports incorrectly claimed, was that general’s Vietnam advice for President Kennedy in 1961.  (The statement Gates quoted, however, was made in 1950 after the North Koreans invaded South Korea.)

A Vietnam Analogy Memorial

Since then, Washington generally seems to have dropped Vietnam through the memory hole.  Well-connected pundits seldom mention its example any more.  Critics have generally stopped using it to anathematize the ongoing war in Afghanistan.  In a wasteland of growing disasters, that war now seems to have gained full recognition as a quagmire in its own right. No help needed.

And yet I did find one recent exception to the general rule.  Let me offer it here as my own memorial to the Vietnam analogy. Recently in a news briefing, U.S. war commander in Afghanistan General John Allen tried to offer context for a phenomenon that seems close to unique in modern history. (You might have to go back to the Sepoy Rebellion in British India of the nineteenth century to find its like.)  Afghan “allies” in police or army uniforms have been continually blasting away American and NATO soldiers they live and work with — something now common enough to have its own military term: “green on blue” violence.  In doing so, Allen made a passing comment that might be thought of as the last Vietnam War analogy of our era.  “I think it is a characteristic of counterinsurgencies that we’ve experienced before,” he said.  “We experienced these in Iraq.  We experienced them in Vietnam… It is a characteristic of this kind of warfare.”

How appropriate that, almost 40 years later, the general, who was still attending the U.S. Naval Academy when Vietnam ended, evidently remembers that war about as accurately as he might recall the War of 1812.  In fact, Vietnamese allies did not regularly, or even rarely, turn their guns on their American allies.  In the far more “fratricidal” acts of that era, what might then have been termed “khaki on khaki” violence, the “Afghans” of the moment were American troops who reasonably regularly committed acts of violence — called “fragging” for the fragmentation grenades of the period — against their own officers.  (“Word of the deaths of officers will bring cheers at troop movies or in bivouacs of certain units,” wrote Marine historian Col. Robert Heinl, Jr., in 1971.  “In one such division… fraggings during 1971 have been authoritatively estimated to be running about one a week.”)

Still, credit must be given.  Increasingly poorly remembered, Vietnam is now one for the ages.  After so many years, Afghanistan has finally emerged as a quagmire beholden to no other war.  What an achievement!  Our moment, Afghanistan included, has proven so extreme, so disastrous, that it’s finally put the unquiet ghost of Vietnam in its grave.  And here’s the miracle: it has all happened without anyone in Washington grasping the essence of that now-ancient defeat, or understanding a thing.

The “lessons of Vietnam,” fruitlessly discussed for five decades, taught Washington so little that it remains trapped in a hopeless war on the Eurasian mainland, continues to pursue a military-first policy globally that might even surprise American leaders of the Vietnam era, has turned the planet into a “free fire zone,” and considers military power its major asset, a first not a last resort, and the Pentagon the appropriate place to burn its national treasure.

After Vietnam, the U.S. at least took a few years to lick its wounds.  Now, it just ramps up the latest military flavor of the month — at the moment, special operations forces and drones — elsewhere.

Call it not the fog, but the smog of war.

And in case you haven’t noticed, the vans are already on the block.  The Afghan Syndrome is moving into the neighborhood and the welcome wagons are out.

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Tom Engelhardt, co-founder of the American Empire Project, runs the Nation Institute's TomDispatch.com. His latest book, "The United States of Fear" (Haymarket Books), has just been published.

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