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British actress Olivia Williams with sabre fish.
As you slowly emerge from your election-week coma, you’re starting to wonder if you’ve missed any good celebrity dish. Guess what? You have. Here’s what:
Jerry Seinfeld and his wife, first-husband-dumper Jessica Sklar, had their baby on Tuesday. But don’t worry, you don’t have to fly in for the bris: It’s a girl. “Both mother and baby are doing great,” Seinfeld’s publicist, Elisabeth Clark, told the press after little Sascha Seinfeld made her entrance. Sorry, Mr. Philbin, despite your stated wishes, they did not name her Regis …
But Kathie Lee Gifford did name her dog that. “He’s a pound dog with mange and fungus and all kinds of things,” Gifford told the Toronto Sun this week. “Regis the dog is afraid of his water dish. You know, he’s the biggest wimp in the world. That they have in common.” She may sound bitter, but Gifford says that while she’s baffled by ABC television’s decision to ban her from “Live!” (“It just makes no sense to me,” she confesses), she’s not hurt by it. “Hurt? Please,” she told the paper. “As long as my thighs are thin, I don’t care how thick my skin is.” And you thought her priorities were in the wrong order.
And speaking of priorities and new babies. Madonna’s people may still be denying that she and boyfriend Guy Ritchie plan to wed on an upcoming trip to Scotland, but it seems she has finally managed to commit to a London home. According to the U.K. Sun, the Material Mama has plunked down a cool $9.9 mil for a manse in Notting Hill.
No such commitment seems imminent from Claudia Schiffer, however. The German supermodel has reportedly dumped her fianci, British art dealer Tim Jeffries, and has turned her attention to the party scene. “I feel secure and I want to live with the new, confident me,” she tells the British magazine Tatler. “I don’t want to plan ahead. I enjoy living by the day. I don’t feel the overriding need to be married.” Well, clearly. In case you were wondering, however, Schiffer says she has no plans to make other drastic changes, like, say cutting her mane of hair. “I cut my hair very short when I was 15 and the boy I was madly in love with dumped me,” she explains. What was that about living as the new, secure, confident her again?
Also in Splitsville, Harrison Ford and his wife of 17 years, screenwriter Melissa Mathison. But rumors that the Indiana Jones star ran straight into the scrawny arms of Jack Nicholson’s ex Lara Flynn Boyle are completely untrue, say Ford’s people. His separation from Mathison “had nothing to do with” a recent National Enquirer story linking Ford and Boyle, Ford’s agent, Patricia McQueeney, told the press. “They separated before that.” And Boyle, who some say is back together with Nicholson after all and who was recently said to have had a serious flirtation with Bruce Willis, calls the rumor linking her with Ford “pure poppycock.” Got that?
Not poppycock: Garth Brooks’ split with his wife, Sandy. On Tuesday, the country superstar filed for divorce in Tennessee, seeking to end his 14-year marriage due to “irreconcilable differences.” The documents were filed under Brooks’ birth name, Troyal G. Brooks. Let the Lara Flynn Boyle rumors begin.
Flood of rumors? No, it’s an actual flood that’s dogging Kate Winslet. The island home she and her husband, Jim Threapleton, are sharing with their new baby daughter, Mia, is reportedly in danger of a rush of water from the flooded River Thames, which has burst its banks. However, the couple told the U.K. Mirror that they planned to stack up the sandbags, stay in the house and hope for the best. What’s a few feet of water in the basement if you’ve lived through the Titanic?
Also sinking fast: Dr. Laura’s TV show. The ratings-challenged talk show has now been bumped into late-night slots by CBS affiliates in seven major cities: Philadelphia, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco, Dallas and Austin. Go take on the night?
More bumping? Reports are circulating that Gwyneth Paltrow is in talks to take over from Elizabeth Hurley as the new face of Estée Lauder. Rumor has it the makeup company is less than thrilled with Hurley’s recent PR troubles, including that whole Screen Actor’s Guild scab thing and her possible affair with married actor Denis Leary. Plus, at 35, Hurley’s a little longer in the tooth than 28-year-old Paltrow. Hey, it’s a rough world out there. I just write about it.
“Basic Instinct 2″ news: Paul Verhoeven’s out of the director’s chair. David Cronenberg’s in. And Sharon Stone will again snatch up the ice pick. But Michael Douglas ain’t coming back for more. Variety reports that Cronenberg is in “advanced negotiations” to helm the sequel after Verhoeven dropped out. According to the London Daily Mail, Verhoeven deemed the story “sick” and hurled the script across the room after reading the opening scenes, which involve Stone, a Porsche, a crash and an uncompromising position. Sounds an awful lot like something “Crash” Cronenberg’s done before, don’t it?
And while we’re on the subject of milking it, the producers of “Silence of the Lambs” and the upcoming “Hannibal” are already planning a prequel based on Thomas Harris’ 1981 novel “Red Dragon.” Yes, it was already made into a film, “Manhunter,” in 1986, but this one will be … um … different. “Red Dragon is about the crime Hannibal Lecter committed and the way he was arrested,” producer Dino De Laurentiis told the Hollywood Reporter. “The audience would like to know, once and forever, why, where and by whom Hannibal Lecter was arrested. This new version has parts of the book never seen before.” Anthony Hopkins is said to be interested in reprising his role yet again. Some people never get enough Chianti and fava beans.
And in case this week’s steady diet of nutritious political coverage has made you hungry for a spicy quote about celebrity body parts, I bring you Ms. Cheryl Ladd, the former Charlie’s Angel, on why she’s stepping back into the spotlight in the Broadway production of “Annie Get Your Gun.” “I wanted to be seen as someone that had other qualities besides my hooters,” Ladd says in the upcoming issue of Us Weekly. “Hooters are nice. Nice hooters are nice; people think I have nice hooters. I like that! Don’t get me wrong. But I don’t want to be an object.”
So there you have it. Good to get back to the important things, isn’t it?
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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.
British actress Olivia Williams with sabre fish.
Gillian Anderson, aka Scully, with a conger eel.
British actor Nickolas Grace with a red mullet.
French actress Aure Atika with a parrotfish.
French-Portuguese actress Barbara Cabrita with a herring.
French actress Caroline Ducey with a barracuda.
French actor Emmanuel de Brantes with a barramundi.
British DJ Godlie with a redfish.
French/American actor Jean-Marc Barr with a mako shark.
BBC star Jeany Spark with a seabass.
Opera singer Joanna Bergin with a mackerel.
Japanese fashion designer Kenzo Takada with a bonito.
French actress Mélanie Bernier with a European eel.
British actor and director Serge Hazanavicius with a thicklip grey mullet.
French jazz guitarist Thomas Dutronc with a dusky grouper.