Doggie style

In Zambia, some men's thoughts turn lightly to ... Fido.

Topics: Sex, Noble Beasts, Love and Sex,

Travelers planning a trip to Zambia should take note: Leave your dog at home. For some unknown reason, the nation is seeing a bizarre increase in reported cases of bestiality. A man in Livingstone, Zambia, was recently found with his pants down, having sex with a dog in the early morning. A worker at a learning institution was discovered to be carnally involved with a pig. And a current in flagrante delicto situation finds a 25-year-old man enjoying the coital pleasures of a dog in a toilet of Lusaka’s Misisi Compound.

“It is hard to come to grips with this phenomenon because women in Zambia outnumber men by almost 3 to 1,” a Lusaka psychiatrist told the Panafrican News Agency. “You do not need to go far and you will find a woman.”

The 25-year-old didn’t find a woman. He found a dog. The animal’s owner, Mr. Banda, spent several nights hearing his dog making peculiar noises from the toilet. And then one night he awoke at 1:30 a.m. to the sounds, and was convinced the dog was in pain. He burst into his bathroom to witness the scene and turned the man in to police.

The official inquiry was difficult, because the man was both deaf and unable to speak. But he did manage to admit that yes, he had boffed Banda’s dog on several occasions. Officers charged him with bestiality, but then three days later, released him back into the world of animal temptation.

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“My dog loved this deaf person very much,” explained Banda. “Each time it saw him, it began to behave oddly towards him. He was always playing with it. I started suspecting something but it was very difficult to approach him because he could not hear and speak.”

The case has attracted attention from deaf organizations, which claim that police didn’t call in a sign language interpreter, and that the courts should treat deaf defendants with better care. But a neighbor of the accused dog-sex enthusiast had a unique perspective that summed up the situation: “Having sex with a dog on several occasions is a sign of failing to talk to girls or women.”

Jack Boulware is a writer in San Francisco and author of "San Francisco Bizarro" and "Sex American Style."

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