No sex for Destiny’s Child!

Beyonc

Topics: Celebrity, Johnny Cash, Arnold Schwarzenegger,

You think it’s easy being Destiny’s Child?

Ha! — Ha! The sultry singing trio would like you to know how wrong you are.

“We were young and sacrificed a lot,” 19-year-old lead singer Beyoncé Knowles gripes to the U.K. Telegraph. “I had to give up cheerleading, as did the others.”

“With beauty comes pain,” seconds Michelle Williams, bemoaning the sore feet that come from traipsing around in high heels and the misery of squeezing into a tight corset night after night.

And as if forgoing comfort and cheers weren’t bad enough, the band members say they’ve had to make the ultimate sacrifice: sex.

Knowles tells the Scottish Daily Record that she and her bandmates haven’t really been getting much action recently; men are too cowed by their fame to approach them, so they’ve just been sleeping with their Bibles.

The tabloid suggests that the trio’s message to interested fellers is, “Please, just come up to us and say, ‘Hello, how are you?’”

Or they could just say their name.

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Prodding the Cougar within

“I hear these records on the radio and I think, ‘What the fuck was I thinking about putting all that music on there?’”

John Mellencamp, revealing that you weren’t the only one wondering what he was thinking.

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Sober now, but not Furlong?

Remember how, a few months back, Edward Furlong was babbling about how, even though he was in Alcoholics Anonymous, he still thought it was A-OK to toss down a few cocktails now and then?

“Am I having a drink every night? No, not at all,” the “Terminator 2″ kid told Us Weekly back in December. “It can be a good, sick feeling coming into a place. Everybody knows you. You’re in front of the line. People hand you free cocktails. Lots of women are around. How can that not be a good feeling?”



Cut to … Tuesday night, when a bad, sick feeling reportedly landed Furlong, now 23, in the emergency room at Cedars Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles According to the New York Post, just hours after his pal Robert Downey Jr. was nabbed for drug use, Furlong’s friends found him outside an L.A. club, “completely out of it” and in a pool of vomit, presumably his own. Fearing he’d OD’d, they checked him into the hospital.

According to the hospital, he was released early Wednesday morning.

Is it too much to hope that this time the poor kid’ll terminate the tippling totally?

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He’s just drawn that way

“I’m not a bad person.”

– “Survivor” mastermind Mark Burnett clearing up a common misconception.

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Juicy bits

Speaking of “Terminator” stars with P.R. problems, the National Enquirer is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger had a long extramarital affair with a woman he met when she was only 16. Arnold’s people deny it, as does the woman reported to have been his longtime lover. The New York Post, however, suggests that advance word of the supermarket tab’s allegations may have been what chased him out of the race for governor of California once and for all. The cause and effect thing sounds a little dubious to me. But who knows? Maybe this’ll mean Arnie the aspiring politician won’t be back …

Loca who’s performing at the Miss Universe pageant: Ricky Martin. The admitted bonbon shaker will sing his latest single, “Loaded,” on the televised show, which is being held in Puerto Rico. And thanks to Miss France, for at least this one brief, shining moment, no one will be focused on Ricky’s sexuality.

Walk the line? Johnny Cash contends that Urban Outfitters stepped way over the line by selling T-shirts with Cash’s name and likeness on them without his permission. So, Launch.com reports, the man in black and his longtime photographer, Jim Marshall, are suing the chain for copyright infringement, false designation of origin, and misappropriation of right and publicity. They’d like the store to stop making the shirts and cough up profits, attorneys’ fees and punitive damages. And they probably wouldn’t mind seeing ‘em step into a burning ring of fire, either.

Shush! Marcel Marceau has something to say. “I am not a man of talk,” the 78-year-old French mime announced at a ceremony in which he was named U.N. goodwill ambassador for the World Assembly on Aging. But nevertheless, Marceau will speak out on behalf of the elderly in his new role. Because sometimes, I guess, the elderly feel like they’ve been put in a box that gets smaller and smaller and smaller.

Says who?

And now, the prize in the bottom of your metaphorical Crackerjack box, a quiz …

Test your celebrity quotient (CQ) by matching the celebrity with the quote.

1) “We want to be remembered for something. We want to be a part of something that’s greater than ourselves, certainly. So I’m happy with that early work.”
a) Meryl Streep on her work in ’80s films like “Silkwood” and “Sophie’s Choice.”
b) Anthony Michael Hall on his work in ’80s movies like “Sixteen Candles” and “The Breakfast Club.”
c) Susan Sarandon on her work in the ’80s bringing food to hungry mothers and children in Nicaragua.

2) “I can’t see it as a curse anymore. It’s so prevalent in my life. It’s just like living with a birthmark or something. I mean you just don’t think about it.”
a) Colin Firth on being typecast as “Mr. Darcy” in the British miniseries “Pride and Prejudice.”
b) Hugh Grant on being typecast as the “nice guy,” despite his inner pervy-ness.
c) Renée Zellweger on her widely blabbed-about 38C “Bridget Jones” knockers.

3) “I do miss sex.”
a) Tom Cruise on life without Nicole.
b) Angelina Jolie on having to run to the corner store without Billy Bob.
c) Anna Nicole Smith on life without her dead husband’s money.

4)Puffy, I love you. I miss you. You will always be in my heart.”
a) J.Lo. on her famous ex-squeeze.
b) P. Diddy on his former nickname.
c) Janet Jackson on her dead pet pooch.

5) “I may be the only mother in America who knows exactly what their child is up to all the time.”
a) Barbara Bush on her son the president.
b) Steven Spielberg’s mother, Leah Adler, on her son the entertainment powerhouse.
c) Colby Donaldson’s mother, Gay, on her son the “Survivor” contestant.

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

Answers:

1) b. That sound you hear is millions of former high-school geeks cheering. (Source: AP)

2) a. Funny, that’s just the sort of thing Darcy might say! (Source: AP)

3) c. Hard to believe she had much more when her ancient hubby was alive. (Source: U.K. Mirror)

4) c. If you answered either of the other two, you were barking up the wrong tree. (Source: Jackson’s “All for You” liner notes)

5) a. The question is, does he know? (Source: U.S. News & World Report)

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