Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm a Courtney Love canoodler.
In the days before Ben Affleck's admission into the snazzy Promises rehab center in Malibu for treatment for alcoholism, the actor was apparently already in an admitting sort of mood.
During the taping of the first episode of Oxygen's new show "Man Talk," which airs Monday, Affleck confessed to host Carrie Fisher that he once made out with Love at Fisher's own home.
The sucking of face took place, Affleck said, at a Fisher-hosted wild party that "resembled a celebrity petting zoo." Tom Hanks and Robin Williams, among other A-listers, were there, but Affleck apparently only had lips for Love.
Consequently, he said, he "did canoodle with her."
And if that wasn't a cry for help, I don't know what is. (Help me, Carrie Fisher -- you're my only hope ...)
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Even Ben had a Chewy
"Basically Chewy is a teddy bear. I think that the reason that Chewy is so popular is that everybody -- I don't care who you are or what age you are or what sex you are -- had a teddy bear of some sort at some stage."
-- Peter Mayhew, who played Chewbacca in the "Star Wars" movies, on the nature of the beast's cuddly appeal, on JAM Showbiz.
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And while we're talking "Star Wars" ...
Who needs Lightsabres? Mark Hamill is using the force of the soundbite against Ewan McGregor.
The original "Star Wars" star says his Galaxy successor (or predecessor, depending on how you look at it) shouldn't lambaste the title of Episode 2 until he knows more about it. McGregor, for those of you who don't recall, reacted the day George Lucas revealed that the movie would be called "The Attack of the Clones" by telling the press he thought the name was "terrible, terrible, terrible."
But Hamill thinks it's McGregor's rush to judgment that's terrible.
"It surprises me that people would have a reaction one way or the other if they haven't seen it," he told the Toronto Sun. "I mean, how do you know if it's a bad title if there are actual replicates of some kind aggressively battling each other, then maybe that is a good title."
And besides, Hamill points out, the title hardly matters.
"Let's face it," he says, "if they call it 'The Dog's Breakfast,' we're all going to go."
Actually, I think 'The Dog's Breakfast' is kind of catchy.
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Who's above the fictional law
"Tony Soprano is not above the law -- he's a fictional character."
-- Thomas Yannucci, a lawyer for HBO, responding in court to the American Italian Defense Association's allegations that "The Sopranos" is defamatory and offensive to Italian-Americans and that "Tony Soprano is not above the law in any courtroom."
No "Baywatch" babies for him
If it's been eating you up these past few months that you don't know the precise reason that Pamela Anderson and Swedish model Marcus Schenkenberg went their separate ways, breathe easy. Schenkenberg has seen fit to set your mind at ease.
Sweetly, Schenkenberg blames Anderson's children. (What a guy!) And Tommy Lee, too, with whom Anderson is apparently in regular contact.
"There were two children as well as the former husband," he told the German magazine Gala. "I mean, I love children and would like to have some of my own -- but of my own."
And not, apparently, with someone who'd been around the block quite so many times. "Pamela wanted to have children with me but I was not so sure," Schenkenberg shared. "It was a difficult situation, her boys have absolute priority with her. I would like to start afresh with someone and then have my own children."
Have his own children? Now that I'd like to see.
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Ellen who?
"Anne's days as a lesbian have been purged from her memory. She has spent most of August running around with copies of bridal magazines, seating plans and photos of wedding cakes. Anne's wedding is a celebration of her re-entry into the world of heterosexuality."
-- A friend of Anne Heche, who's set to marry cameraman Coley Laffoon on Saturday, on the actress' wholly hetero ways, in the U.K. Mirror.
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A good excuse to eat in
Frightening thought for the day: a restaurant designed by Damien Hirst.
The bad-boy British artist -- known for turning entire animals preserved in formaldehyde into works of art -- apparently has his heart set on turning a seafood pub in a seaside U.K. town called Ilfracombe into a seafood eatery of his very own.
According to the BBC, Hirst, who lives near the seaside village, has already submitted his plans to the local authorities for approval and is anxiously waiting for the chance to move ahead.
"I love Ilfracombe and because I live here it makes sense to open a restaurant," he said.
Formaldehyde-pickled fish fins, anyone?
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