Now that’s Lo

Lopez demanded huge trailer, fancy furnishings at 9/11 charity event; Backstreet's McClean cured of drink, modesty; "Seinfeld" sanitized for new America.

Topics: Celebrity, Seinfeld, Jennifer Lopez,

Someone really needs to explain the concept of charity to Jennifer Lopez. The whole selfless-giving thing seems to have escaped her.

Witness the rider, posted on the Smoking Gun, spelling out the singer’s requirements for participating in the charity remake of Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On” just a few weeks after the terrorist attacks of 9/11. The proceeds from the single, which also included input from Bono and Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst, will be donated to victims of the attacks and to the Global AIDS Alliance, but that didn’t prevent Lopez from making a few costly demands.

Though J.Lo was at the studio for only 90 minutes, her people insisted on a few “important details” to “ensure a more comfortable stay for the artist and her entourage.” Such as? A 45-foot trailer “with triple slide outs and 2 entry doors” (though she’d settle for a 40-footer in a pinch) and equipped with a CD player (“NO EXCEPTIONS”), a TV/VCR, a “hair sink and make-up station” and an assortment of CDs, including the work of artists like Macy Gray, D’Angelo, Toni Braxton and Destiny’s Child.

Her dressing room, she said, had to be a “white room” containing “white flowers, white tables / and or tablecloths, white drapes, white candles, white couches” and a “large comfortable chair for hair & makeup” (color not specified). In addition to those white flowers (lilies and roses), J.Lo’s people also suggest “yellow roses with red trim.”

The singer also requested a full panoply of fruits and desserts including “mango, green seedless grapes, pineapple, cantaloupe, papaya, honeydew melon, watermelon, chocolate chip cookies, apple pie (à la mode), brownies, vanilla ice cream” and beverages including apricot, mango, peach and pear guava juices. None of these tasty treats, the Smoking Gun reports, were even touched by the star and her entourage during their brief stay.

Really, J.Lo, what’s goin’ on?

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Just a cocky optimist

“I’ve got a great job and a great life. I feel great, and I look great — not to sound conceited, but I think I look pretty damn good.”

– Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean on his new post-rehab outlook, in USA Today.

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These are tough times for all of us

The sorts of nightmares that cause Jill Hennessy to wake up screaming may not sound very scary to you and me. In them, she’s haunted and tormented by … sugary confections.

“I see a table with a platter of cookies,” the star of NBC’s “Crossing Jordan” tells the upcoming issue of Self, having been asked to describe a recurring dream. “I either end up eating all of them and literally start to feel sick, or I try to get to the table but I don’t make it. Either I get all the cookies and get sick or I never get any.”

Blame Calista Flockhart.

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They didn’t look mahvelous

Speaking of weird, food-related fears … Billy Crystal is ready to reminisce about a few of his own.

When he was a kid, Crystal said in a recent interview to promote the film “Monsters, Inc.,” in which he and John Goodman play monsters, he was just a little afraid of the dark.

“I was the kid who had the light bulb in the hallway and the door [ajar] to just give me enough light so, if the demon was coming, I would be able to see it,” he tells the Toronto Sun.

But it wasn’t conventional demons he feared.

“The thing I was most scared of was relatives leaving something in my closet,” he tells the paper. “And they were pretty scary. We used to call them the herring-breath monsters.”

And I’m guessing in little Billy’s imagination those fierce creatures were packed in there like sardines.

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Now that’s scary

“You know how Lisa Marie looks exactly like Elvis? Well. Ella is like Mini-John. She is my Mini-Me.”

John Travolta on his 1-year-old daughter, Ella Bleu, in the Calgary Sun.

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The fear about nothing?

In what might be one of the strangest effects of the events of 9/11, the “Seinfeld” episode in which George’s fiancé dies after licking toxic wedding invitation envelopes has been pulled from syndication.

“Since September 11, [we] have been very sensitive to content in all programming we distribute,” a rep for Columbia Tri-Star Television Distribution told TV Guide Online. “On our original schedule, ‘The Invitations’ was to have aired [on] October 22. However, we replaced that episode with another one.”

Not that there’s anything wrong with that …

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

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