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Bobby Brown poses as a schoolmarm, Val Kilmer as a prude. Plus, J.Lo gets dissed on TV.

Topics: Celebrity, Jennifer Lopez,

Talk about blowing it on national TV.

Fox News anchor Shepard Smith had something fairly egglike on his face last week when he launched into what should have been a straightforward item about tension between Jennifer Lopez and her old Bronx neighbors.

“J.Lo’s new song ‘Jenny From the Block’ is all about Lopez’s roots, about how she’s still a neighborhood gal at heart,” Shepherd declared innocently enough, before veering horribly off his teleprompted script. “But folks from that street in New York, the Bronx section, sound more likely to give her a curb job than a blow job!”

Oops!

Smith was quick to attempt a correction — “Or a bl-bl-block party!” — but it was too late. The damage was done, and the poor fellow knew it.

When the cameras switched back to Smith from a clip of Lopez shimmying in song, the anchor had a mighty rueful look on his face.

“Sorry about that slip-up there,” he said gravely. “I have no idea how that happened, but it won’t happen again.”

Forgive and forget, J.Blow?

(You can download the segment in Windows Media Player format and watch the oral misfire for yourself here.)

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From the “Do as I say …” files

“Stay away from drugs, don’t drink and drive, don’t do anything you’re not supposed to do, go to school and eat your vegetables.”

Bobby Brown dispensing advice to the public at his appearance in criminal court to face charges of driving under the influence, speeding, failing to maintain a lane and having no proof of insurance, among other charges, according to the Associated Press.

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Let the games begin

If cluelessness were an Olympic sport, Robin Williams might well qualify to compete.

“I was very involved in the effort to get the Olympics to come to San Francisco. I helped in the presentation. Essentially we just emphasized our weather and temperature as our main asset,” Williams told celebrity researcher Baird Jones at the premiere party for “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” the other night. “Then after we lost to New York I discovered that it was just a preliminary round. I thought that was the final vote, and the winner got the games!”



Now, Williams doesn’t really get what all the fuss was about.

“Everyone was running around like crazy, and for what?” he asks. “Now New York has to go pimp against Paris and Moscow and a dozen other cities for like two years. And it turns out that if Vancouver gets the Winter Olympics, no one had a chance anyway because the Olympics won’t come to the same continent twice so soon.”

But that might just be sour grapes.

“I thought it was San Francisco against New York for the final vote,” he repeats. “What a letdown!”

And no, for once, I don’t think he’s joking …

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Not XXXciting in the least …

“That doesn’t interest me. I don’t find it entertaining.”

Val Kilmer on his refusal to watch any of the porn movies of the late John Holmes, whom he is playing in the porn star’s biopic, “Wonderland,” to “Entertainment Tonight.”

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Juicy bits

Sex and the city across the Atlantic? “Sex and the City” costar Kim Cattrall says British audiences are more inclined to enjoy the HBO show than American audiences. “The British have been more up for it than the Americans were, particularly with respect to nudity in the show,” the Liverpool-born actress tells London’s Sunday Express magazine. “In Europe there are adverts that show the breasts, so people are less frightened of that aspect of the show. Americans can withstand incredible violence on TV shows — which, as I come from England and Canada, I find difficult to stomach — but they are more puritanical when it comes to nudity on screen.” So I guess that “boob tube” thing is something of a misnomer.

It’s a long way from “Dawson’s Creek” to the clink, but that’s where Joshua Jackson, who plays Pacey on the WB show, apparently ended up on Saturday night. According to AP, Jackson was arrested in Raleigh, N.C., for assaulting a security guard at a Carolina Hurricanes/Pittsburgh Penguins hockey game. By Sunday, he was free on bail, but not before police clocked his blood alcohol content at 0.14 percent. Maybe he just wanted some ice for his drink?

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Miss something? Read yesterday’s Nothing Personal.

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