George W. Bush
George W. Bush, the doubleplusgood doublespeaker!
In his interview on "Meet the Press," the president proved he has mastered the Orwellian art of duckspeak.
George W. Bush’s unplugged performance with Tim Russert on Sunday offered hope for even the dumbest of men: You too can become president of the United States.
Yet Bush’s apparent inanity conceals his immense talent as a political speaker. If one applies the principles of duckspeak to Bush’s performance, he is a doubleplusgood doublethinker. Duckspeak, of course, is the language celebrated in George Orwell’s “1984.” Characterized by mindless invocation and the repetition of slogans, it was the highest form of speech in Orwell’s nightmare demolition of the English language, Newspeak. Orwell wrote:
“Newspeak vocabulary was tiny, and new ways of reducing it were constantly being devised. Newspeak, indeed, differed from most all other languages in that its vocabulary grew smaller instead of larger every year. Each reduction was a gain, since the smaller the area of choice, the smaller the temptation to take thought. Ultimately it was hoped to make articulate speech issue from the larynx without involving the higher brain centres at all. This aim was frankly admitted in the Newspeak word duckspeak, meaning ‘to quack like a duck’.”
Loud honking sounds emanated from Bush as soon as the interview started and were most clearly heard after Russert pointed out the numerous times that Cheney, Powell, Rumsfeld and the president himself said there was “no doubt” that Saddam had WMD. “I don’t want to get into word contests,” Bush told Russert. Translated from the duckspeak: Words mean nothing.
As a public service, we take the time here to translate the most relevant portions of the president’s statements to Russert into duckspeak. Where quacks are noted in the translated text (as in “quack quack quack”), they signify portions of the president’s sentences that are mostly or entirely meaningless — connectors, pronouns and verbs that offer the vague appearance of logic behind Bush’s catchphrases and patriotic pap, the “mass of lies, evasion, folly” that Orwell elsewhere described as a “soft snow” covering up the facts. The catchphrases, representing the more cognitively developed portion of Bush’s remarks, have been left intact.
Tim Russert: On Friday, you announced a committee, commission, to look into intelligence failures regarding the Iraq War and our entire intelligence community. You have been reluctant to do that for some time. Why?
President Bush: Quack quack quack winning the war against the terrorists. Quack quack war against terrorists quack war quack hide in caves quack quack quack shadowy networks quack rogue nations. Quack good intelligence system. We need really good intelligence quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack fighting this war on terror.
[Russert, noting that the Iraq intelligence commission will not report until March 2005] Shouldn’t the American people have the benefit of the commission before the election?
Quack gave it time quack didn’t want it to be hurried quack strategic look quack big picture quack war on terror quack dangerous world quack dangerous world quack war president quack war on my mind quack I see dangers.
The night you took the country to war, March 17th, you said this: “Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Iraq regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised … How do you respond to critics who say that you brought the nation to war under false pretenses?
Quack weapons quack war against terror quack we were attacked quack every threat quack every threat quack every potential harm to America quack war on terror quack weapons quack suicide bombers quack funding terrorist groups quack dangerous man quack stockpiles of weapons quack capacity to produce weapons quack weapons quack capacity to make weapons quack Saddam Hussein quack dangerous with weapons quack Saddam Hussein quack dangerous with the ability to make weapons quack dangerous man quack dangerous quack a madman quack imminent quack imminent quack new kind of war quack no doubt in my mind quack Saddam Hussein quack danger to America.
In what way?
Quack have a weapon, make a weapon quack he had weapons quack he had weapons quack make a weapon quack weapon quack shadowy terrorist network quack Oval Office quack terrorists with airplanes quack harm America quack worst nightmare scenario quack terrorist networks quack deadly weapons quack strike us quack president of the United States’ most solemn responsibility quack country secure quack Saddam Hussein quack Saddam Hussein quack madman.
Now looking back, in your mind, is it worth the loss of 530 American lives and 3,000 injuries and woundings simply to remove Saddam Hussein, even though there were no weapons of mass destruction?
Quack life is precious quack sacrifice for this country quack our praise quack.
But —
Let me finish quack explain quack parents of those who lost their lives quack Saddam Hussein quack dangerous quack a madman quack a dangerous man quack make weapons quack soldiers who have fallen quack war against these terrorists quack great harm to America quack these young ones quack sacrifice quack free Iraq quack change the world quack historic times quack free Iraq quack children in our own country quack safer world quack hatred and violence quack enemy quack recruit its killers quack America quack responsibility quack responsibility quack responsibility quack responsibility quack freedom quack barbaric people quack Saddam Hussein quack mass graves quack responsibility.
Using Bush’s playbook
"Karl Rove politics" aren't quite dead: Obama's strategy in 2012 will mirror W's in 2004
George W. Bush and Barack Obama (Credit: Reuters/Larry Downing) Barack Obama’s presidency was born from nothing so much as his repudiation of George W. Bush’s administration — its policies and politics, its style and tone. One of Obama’s most effective 2008 stump speech refrains was his promise to end the era of “Scooter Libby justice, ‘Brownie’ incompetence and Karl Rove politics.”
But the political dynamics for winning a second presidential term often differ markedly from winning the first. So don’t be surprised by many eerie parallels between Obama’s 2012 reelection bid and Bush’s 2004 campaign. The president may not rely upon “Karl Rove politics” in the strictest sense, and nobody would confuse David Axelrod with Rove. But Obama’s reelection route and rhetoric may bear more than a few Rovian hallmarks.
Continue Reading CloseThe Bushies are back
Missed the neocons? Don't worry: Mitt Romney's getting the band together again
(Credit: Reuters/Win McNamee) There was good reason for Republicans to cry foul over the Obama campaign’s advertisement highlighting the president’s killing of Osama bin Laden; the GOP has lost its decades-long edge on national security. According to a Washington Post poll, “By a margin of more than 2 to 1, Americans say the president’s handling of terrorism is a major reason to support rather than oppose his bid for reelection.”
Continue Reading CloseJordan Michael Smith writes about U.S. foreign policy for Salon. He has written for the New York Times, Boston Globe and Washington Post. More Jordan Michael Smith.
Bush aide blasts torture
Philip Zelikow tried to warn Bush on interrogations. Now he's penned an authoritative article on how he was ignored
(Credit: Reuters/Jim Young) The Bush administration hasn’t heard the last from Philip Zelikow. After the rediscovery last week of his long lost 2006 anti-torture memo, Zelikow, a former State Department official, has written arguably the most damning article yet about U.S. government’s interrogation policies from 2001 to 2009. The article, called “Codes of Conduct for a Twilight War,” will be released in a forthcoming issue of the Houston Law Journal, and was obtained exclusively by Salon. Says Zelikow in an email: “I’m not aware of other accounts that combine historical, policy and legal approaches to” the subject of the Bush administration’s interrogation methods.
Continue Reading CloseJordan Michael Smith writes about U.S. foreign policy for Salon. He has written for the New York Times, Boston Globe and Washington Post. More Jordan Michael Smith.
Thomas Kinkade, the George W. Bush of art
The rise and fall of Thomas Kinkade, the Painter of Light™ in a decade of bad faith
News of Thomas Kinkade’s death arrived on the same day I received in the mail a vintage teacup on which I had spent a ridiculous amount of money. It has a cottage painted on it. Kinkade, whose work has long exerted a morbid fascination for me (to the concern of all my friends), specialized in cottages. So some part of me understands the appeal, I guess, but, damn: Those paintings make my corneas hurt. And yet, I could barely stop looking at them.
Kinkade was only 54, and his family told the media that he died of “natural causes.” This comes after years of reports of drunken public misbehavior: cursing at people who tried to save him from falling off bar stools, heckling Siegfried & Roy, grabbing a woman’s breasts at a publicity event and, most memorably, urinating on a Winnie the Pooh statue at the Disneyland Hotel while proclaiming, “This one’s for you, Walt!” There were DUI arrests. Also, his manufacturing company declared bankruptcy two years ago, and former franchisees of the once-ubiquitous Thomas Kinkade Signature Galleries won settlements against him for fraud.
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Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
The memo Bush tried to destroy
A document advising the Bush administration against torture has resurfaced, despite his best efforts to hide it
George W. Bush in 2006 (Credit: AP/Ron Edmonds) In February of 2006, Philip Zelikow, counselor to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, authored a memo opposing the Bush administration’s torture practices (though he employed the infamous obfuscation of “enhanced interrogation techniques”). The White House tried to collect and destroy all copies of the memo, but one survived in the State Department’s bowels and was declassified yesterday in response to a Freedom of Information Act request by the National Security Archive.
Continue Reading CloseJordan Michael Smith writes about U.S. foreign policy for Salon. He has written for the New York Times, Boston Globe and Washington Post. More Jordan Michael Smith.
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