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Rebecca Traister
Monday, Oct 4, 2004 5:39 PM UTC2004-10-04T17:39:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Girlfriends are the new husbands

Women no longer become adults within the context of marriage -- we grow up with our friends. So what happens when they leave us?

Girlfriends are the new husbands

A move, a new job, the beginning or end of a relationship: These are among the traumas — up there with birth and death — that we’re told are sure to send shockwaves through our systems. My friend Sara is about to face a daunting combination of them; she’s quit her magazine job, packed up her beloved apartment, and on Saturday will leave New York, her home of six years, to move in with her boyfriend in Boston.

But my experience doesn’t get much ink in either the self-help or greeting card aisles at Barnes & Noble. My best friend is moving away.

The power of female friendship is widely dramatized and almost as frequently fetishized in fiction. From Marianne and Elinor Dashwood to Nicole Holofcener movies to recent ads for Ortho Tri-Cyclen birth control pills to a certain high-heeled HBO series, yarns about women’s abiding affection for one another — especially in tart contrast to their relationships with men — have been knit into yards and yards of narrative melodrama. But as mating patterns change, and many women put off marriage until their 30s, we gain a decade of independence; a decade that might once have been dedicated to bonding with husbands and children, but is now often unfettered by men or the limitations of family. We may be single, but rarely do we spend those years without a coterie of girlfriends. We may not be growing up within the context of our marriages anymore, but we are not alone. Women become each other’s de facto spouses: We practice habits of sharing and intimacy; we urge each other to be stronger and sharper, to get better jobs, and to accept no less than just and healthy relationships.

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Sunday, Feb 12, 2012 2:33 AM UTC2012-02-12T02:33:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Didn’t she almost have it all?

Whitney Houston died Saturday at 48. As Salon wrote six years ago, it's a tragedy too many people saw coming

Whitney Houston

Singer Whitney Houston performs in concert at Wembley Stadium in London on May 5, 1988  (Credit: Reuters)

Editor's note: In 2006, Rebecca Traister tried to understand how one of the most popular and successful singers of all time fell into a tragic cycle of addiction. Houston died Saturday at 48, making this story even sadder. To remember Houston in happier times, check out our video tribute.

Two weeks ago, a story by Los Angeles celebrity journalist Nick Papps began, “It’s hard to believe that the drugged, dazed woman staring out from [an accompanying] picture was once one of the most popular singers in the world … But today that woman, Whitney Houston, 42, is just another crack head.”

The dim assessment came in response to tabloids that on March 29 printed photos of what is supposedly Houston’s Atlanta bathroom, littered with crack pipes, cocaine-coated spoons, cigarette butts, Budweiser cans and garbage. The photos were taken, and sold to the magazines, by Houston’s sister-in-law, who provided an accompanying tale of the singer’s cracked-out habits, from hallucinating violent demons, to biting and hitting herself, putting her hand through walls, and locking herself away to smoke rock cocaine and pleasure herself with an apparently prodigious collection of vibrators. Speaking about the mess on Fox’s “The O’Reilly Factor,” Billboard executive editor Tamara Conniff said, “I think that she was a really well-manicured diva star and she just turned a little ghetto.”

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Saturday, Feb 4, 2012 12:00 AM UTC2012-02-04T00:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Susan G. Komen’s priceless gift

A radical decision woke the country up to an alarming rightward drift, and gave new life to women’s health advocacy

Members of Planned Parenthood, NARAL Pro-Choice America and more than 20 other organizations hold a "Stand Up for Women's Health" rally in Washington

Members of Planned Parenthood, NARAL Pro-Choice America and more than 20 other organizations hold a "Stand Up for Women's Health" rally in Washington  (Credit: Joshua Roberts / Reuters)

The startling intensity that we saw this week in response to Susan G. Komen for the Cure’s decision to pull its grants from Planned Parenthood — an intensity that prompted the Komen foundation to reverse its decision today — may be the best thing that’s happened to the conversation about reproductive rights in this country for decades. It certainly should be.

Practically since Roe v. Wade was decided in 1973, reproductive rights activists have been left to play stilted defense against ideological opponents who grabbed the language of morality, life, love and family as their own, always deploying it with reference to the fetus. The rhetoric around reproductive rights, which has more recently begun to creep into arguments over contraception, has become suffocating in its emotional self-righteousness, but too muscular, too ubiquitous to effectively combat.

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Rebecca Traister

Rebecca Traister writes for Salon. She is the author of "Big Girls Don't Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women" (Free Press). Follow @rtraister on TwitterMore Rebecca Traister

Joan Walsh

Joan Walsh is Salon's editor at large.  More Joan Walsh

Thursday, Dec 8, 2011 9:58 PM UTC2011-12-08T21:58:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Obama’s woman problem

The president shamefully uses his daughters to justify limiting the healthcare options of America's young women

obama knows best

 (Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster/Salon)

When will Barack Obama learn how to talk thoughtfully about women, women’s health and women’s rights?

Apparently, not today.

On Wednesday, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius unexpectedly overruled the Food and Drug Administration’s recommendation that emergency contraception be sold on drugstore shelves and made available without a prescription to women under the age of 17. The move came as a surprise blow to healthcare and women’s rights activists, the kinds of people regularly counted as supporters of the Obama administration.

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Rebecca Traister

Rebecca Traister writes for Salon. She is the author of "Big Girls Don't Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women" (Free Press). Follow @rtraister on TwitterMore Rebecca Traister

Tuesday, Sep 27, 2011 4:01 PM UTC2011-09-27T16:01:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Early signs of a “Bridesmaids” bump

A veteran producer sees not just success for Kristen Wiig's blockbuster, but signs of a lasting legacy

Kristin Wiig in "Bridesmaids" and Viola Davis in "The Help"

Kristin Wiig in "Bridesmaids" and Viola Davis in "The Help"

Last week, the summer’s surprise blockbuster, “Bridesmaids,” was released on DVD, after a spectacular run both in the United States and abroad. The fortunes of the film, which starred a brace of funny women and dealt equally in fart jokes and friendship, were regarded as crucial to the future of women in entertainment.

Hollywood, perpetually on the verge of never making another movie for anyone but teenage boys, was in need of a slap in the face, reminding it that women buy tickets, fill theaters, tell friends they loved it — and know men who are occasionally eager to see the opposite sex portrayed compellingly on celluloid. “Bridesmaids” delivered a wallop, bringing in more than $280 million worldwide, and drawing an audience reported to be a third male, and largely over 30.

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Rebecca Traister

Rebecca Traister writes for Salon. She is the author of "Big Girls Don't Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women" (Free Press). Follow @rtraister on TwitterMore Rebecca Traister

Thursday, May 12, 2011 4:17 PM UTC2011-05-12T16:17:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Seeing “Bridesmaids” is a social responsibility

How the fate of female-driven movies came to rest upon the success of "SNL" star Kristen Wiig's new comedy

How seeing

It’s a strange day when our social movements coalesce around a movie comedy that appears, from its trailer, to hinge largely on an explosive farting scene, but Hollywood’s warped gender politics seem to make each day stranger than the last.

This week, with a viral enthusiasm usually applied to marches on Washington, grass-roots presidential campaigns or saving Planned Parenthood from House Republicans, women (and men) who believe in a future that includes movies for and about women have turned the comedy “Bridesmaids” — written by “Saturday Night Live’s” Kristen Wiig and her collaborator Annie Mumolo, and starring a passel of funny women — into a cause. “Bridesmaids” activists want to send a bracing message to a business that has become increasingly oppressive for the women who work within it as well as for those who consume its product. That message must be delivered in the form of box office receipts, which means that for a certain set, seeing “Bridesmaids” this weekend — and encouraging others to do the same — is more than a trip to the theater; it’s a social responsibility.

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Rebecca Traister

Rebecca Traister writes for Salon. She is the author of "Big Girls Don't Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women" (Free Press). Follow @rtraister on TwitterMore Rebecca Traister

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