Gay Marriage
A dispatch from the culture war
Gay Arkansans protest Gov. Mike Huckabee's hetero-only "Celebration of Marriage."
Holding on to her husband’s arm, a middle-aged woman in a white wedding veil and sparkly makeup beamed as she walked past a cluster of protesters outside the Alltel Arena in Little Rock, Ark. The couple joined thousands of others, all streaming into the stadium for a Valentine’s Day “Celebration of Marriage” hosted by Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and his wife, Janet. Those who weren’t welcome at the governor’s celebration — gay couples like Robert Loyd and John Schenck, together for 30 years and recently wed in Toronto — took the event as a personal rebuke. After all, just a few months ago, Arkansas voted overwhelmingly to ban both gay marriage and domestic partnerships — all in the name of preserving the institution of marriage.
“I can’t marry my Valentine,” said one sign. “Get a new Valentine,” one woman, a celebrant, shouted as she walked in.
The Huckabees had invited every God-fearing heterosexual in the state to watch them upgrade their union into a “covenant marriage,” a type of marriage that’s very difficult to get out of. Covenant marriages are one of the right’s attempts to shore up traditional matrimony, something that appears especially embattled in Bible Belt states like Arkansas, where divorce rates are soaring.
The sad state of marriage in Arkansas, which has America’s third-highest divorce rate, led Huckabee, a former Baptist minister, to declare a “marital emergency” in 2000 and pledge to halve the number of divorces in a decade. As part of that effort, he pushed for the state’s covenant marriage law, which essentially forecloses the option of no-fault divorce for participating couples. “Only when there has been a complete and total breach of the marital covenant commitment may a party seek a declaration that the marriage is no longer legally recognized,” the 2001 law says. Such a breach can include physical abuse, imprisonment or “habitual drunkenness for one year.”
People aren’t exactly flocking to covenant marriages. Two other states, Louisiana and Arizona, also have such laws, but only a tiny percentage of couples are participating. Huckabee hopes to change that. Before his Valentine’s Day rally, the governor toured the state with the co-host of the event, Dennis Rainey, head of the Arkansas-based ministry FamilyLife, a division of the Campus Crusade for Christ. Together, they encouraged pastors to refuse to perform noncovenant marriages in their churches. The churches, in turn, organized fleets of buses to take their congregants to Alltel for a kind of religious revival as scripted by Hallmark.
There’s a contradiction at the heart of the marriage movement. In their zeal to “protect” marriage from gay people and divorce, religious right activists have fetishized it, promoting it as a source of boundless bliss that would make the authors of bodice-rippers blush even as they bemoan a society where people are too easily swayed by marriage’s disappointments. “On the one hand they have this romanticized view of marriage, true love and putting the partner above everything, but another theme in this whole marriage movement is that you shouldn’t expect so much from marriage, you should suck it up, stay together for the sake of the kids and recognize that marriage is a moral duty,” says Stephanie Coontz, author of the forthcoming “Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage.”
“Your eyes must light up when your spouse enters the room,” proclaimed Rabbi Daniel Lapin, who, in a gesture toward ecumenicism, was invited to give the opening speech at Huckabee’s event. A close ally of the religious right, Lapin is a gray-bearded man with a British accent who seems to be striving to become the real-life Rabbi Bengelsdorf from Philip Roth’s “The Plot Against America.” Lapin said that marriage is needed to turn the “raw rock of male sexuality and aggression” into a beautiful work of art.
The highlight of the night was the Huckabees’ conversion of their marriage and restatement of their vows, including Janet’s pledge to “submit” to Mike. When they were done, they invited the audience to repeat their promises. Thousands of wives stood up and vowed to submit to thousands of husbands, and then thousands of people kissed and cheered.
There was only one interruption. During Huckabee’s speech, a group of young activists unfurled banners saying “Queer Rights Now.” As security guards moved in to hustle them out, two young men embraced. They stayed put as the rest of their group moved into the aisles, looking a little scared as they clung to each other as people jeered them and called for their arrest.
It was the most romantic thing I saw all night.
Michelle Goldberg is a frequent contributor to Salon and the author of "Kingdom Coming: The Rise of Christian Nationalism" (WW Norton). More Michelle Goldberg.
Democrats’ gay marriage excuse
Are Democratic politicians, like Andrew Cuomo, using social issues to distract from the economic status quo?
Andrew Cuomo (Credit: Reuters/Hans Pennink) Headlines transmit information in its rawest form — and the best of headlines crystallize indelible truths. Such was the case this week when the New York Daily News blared this simple but iconic headline: “Cuomo: Minimum Wage Harder to Get Than Gay Marriage.”
The story quoted New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) claiming that the effort to raise wages for the poorest of his constituents represents a “broader and deeper” divide than the recent successful fight to legalize same-sex matrimony in the Empire State. Though the piece quickly dissolved into the ether, it should have received more attention because it is an important Rosetta Stone — one that translates this era’s inscrutable political rhetoric into a clear admission that money trumps everything else.
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David Sirota is a best-selling author of the new book "Back to Our Future: How the 1980s Explain the World We Live In Now." He hosts the morning show on AM760 in Colorado. E-mail him at ds@davidsirota.com, follow him on Twitter @davidsirota or visit his website at www.davidsirota.com. More David Sirota.
When leaders actually lead
Some Obama backers insisted the president could do nothing on his own to advance gay marriage. Boy, were they wrong
U.S. President Barack Obama speaks at a campaign fund raising event in Denver, Colorado May 23, 2012. (Credit: Reuters/Kevin Lamarque) I count myself as a supporter of President Obama who reserves the right to criticize him when I disagree. And I disagreed with his reluctance to come out in support of gay marriage for a long time. I’m also on record wishing he’d taken a stronger public stance behind several big progressive priorities — a larger stimulus, tougher Wall Street reform, a public option for health insurance, a big jobs bill – whether or not he had the congressional support to make it happen.
Continue Reading CloseJoan Walsh is Salon's editor at large. More Joan Walsh.
Marvel Comics plans wedding for gay hero Northstar
Out since 1992, the openly gay superhero will walk down the aisle in late June
This comic book cover image released by Marvel shows "Astonishing X-Men," No 51. Marvel Comics said Tuesday, May 22, 2012 that the Canadian character named Jean-Paul Beaubier, right, will marry his beau, Kyle Jinadu, in this edition due out June 20. (AP Photo/Marvel Comics)(Credit: AP) PHILADELPHIA (AP) — Wedding bells will ring this summer for Marvel Comics’ first openly gay hero, super speedster Northstar.
The New York-based publisher said Tuesday that Canadian character Jean-Paul Beaubier will marry his beau, Kyle Jinadu, in the pages of “Astonishing X-Men” No. 51. That’s due out June 20.
Northstar revealed he was gay in the pages of “Alpha Flight” No. 106 in 1992. He was one of Marvel’s first characters to do so.
Since then, numerous comic book heroes and villains have been identified as gay, lesbian or transgender.
Marjorie Liu is writing the series. She says the decision to have the pair marry was fitting, noting that the relationship between Kyle and Northstar has grown in recent years.
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Manny Pacquiao loses his crown
The boxer's anti-gay remarks lead us to take an unprecedented step: We're revoking his Salon Sexiest Man title
Steve Carell and Manny Pacquiao (Credit: AP) We’re all relieved around here that Manny Pacquiao is not really some Leviticus-quoting loon who says that gays “must be put to death” – even if that may have something to do with the fact that he admits “I haven’t read the Book of Leviticus yet.”
But it’s nonetheless disappointing that a man we at Salon bestowed our highest honor to just six months ago has proven himself so terribly unenlightened. In an interview for Examiner.com last week, one of our 2011 Sexiest Men declared of marriage, “It should not be of the same sex so as to adulterate the altar of matrimony, like in the days of Sodom and Gomorrah of Old.” Oh dear. Winning lots of fights? Sexy. Getting elected to the Filipino Congress? Sexy. “Donating millions to improve living conditions in his poverty-stricken nation”? Super hot. Not being down with civil rights? Bzzzzzzt!
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Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.
Jonathan Rauch: “We are a sideshow no longer”
At his first same-sex marriage since Obama's big announcement, a longtime advocate reflects on a decades-long fight
(Credit: Chris Howey via Shutterstock) It’s a beautiful spring day in Washington, D.C., around 5 p.m. I am arriving at the august Peterson Institute for International Economics. Today, however, the place is not a think tank but a chapel, and the important words to be uttered are not “trade-weighted exchange rates” but “I do.”
My old friend Joe Gagnon is getting married today to Paul Adamczak, his longtime partner. How I hate that word “partner”! As if Joe and Paul were members of the same law firm. Within the hour, I am pleased to realize, they will be partners no longer. Under District of Columbia law, they will be husbands.
Continue Reading CloseJonathan Rauch is a guest scholar at the Brookings Institution and author of "Gay Marriage: Why It Is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America." More Jonathan Rauch.
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