Books
The author’s daughter
Most parents try to shield their children from adult thoughts and desires. But for children of novelists, whose desires are available for public viewing, there's no protection.
The notion of parents mortifying their children is nothing new. Everyone is familiar with the horrors of, say, one’s mother doing the hokeypokey in public, or one’s father wearing an orange windbreaker and whistling “A Whiter Shade of Pale” while on carpool duty. But the children of writers are given a mortification all their own. It reaches beyond the hokeypokey and deep into regions unfamiliar to the children of management consultants and travel agents.
In its most common form, the embarrassment occurs when a writer is simply doing his or her job: describing the world in an unflinching, candid manner, and casually borrowing recognizable bits and pieces from real life. Occasionally, a writer borrows much more than that. This was the case with A.A. Milne, who used his son Christopher Robin as a character without asking. The child grew up and was left to languish in bitterness, loathing the father who left him frozen in a kind of twisted, eternal moppethood. It seems clear that writers who use their children to advance their own work are guilty of some kind of unsavory pimping, and that those children — those trapped-in-amber, beloved figures from picture books and novels — have a right to feel furious.
But what of the children of writers who neither borrow overtly from real life nor steal their children’s souls, but who, along the normal course of their work, write books that include something more mortifying than the image of Christopher Robin in a gender-ambiguous nightdress? What of the children of novelists who dare to write about sex?
I know something about this, having grown up as the child of a fiction writer. When my mother, Hilma Wolitzer, published her first novel, “Ending,” in 1974, it featured a scene in which a woman performs oral sex on her dying husband: “I kneeled and made a carpet of our clothing on the floor, and I led him down inside me.” After the novel came out, Brian Spiviano went roaring down the ninth-grade hall, shouting, “Read Page 180! Read Page 180!”
By 10 a.m., all the boys in my grade — boys who never read fiction, and whose reading matter consisted entirely of “Neil Armstrong: A Life” — had absorbed this sex scene and all its nuances. Their faces were hot with excitement; my own was hot with shame. At the end of the day, when my mother appeared in the white Rambler station wagon to pick me up from school, a few boys lingered near the car wolfishly, sizing her up. I was horrified. Who was this woman who felt at ease not only writing such things, but also, in all likelihood, doing them in real life? Who was this whore?
To a certain extent, my horror was a simple projection of my fantasy of someone finding and reading the quilted and deeply personal journal I kept in a drawer. The fact that my mother was delighted to let the world read over her shoulder was perplexing and even infuriating to someone like me, who still felt uneasy in her skin, and who thought it only right that everyone else should feel that way, too.
Mostly, my mother’s fiction was (and is) delicate and funny and only incidentally sexual. But my threshold of tolerance was extremely low. And it wasn’t only sex that bothered me; other things did as well. In one of her short stories, she put her protagonist, a young mother, on the side of a bathtub while washing her son’s hair, and she had her think to herself, I don’t love you, kiddo. How many times had I, when I was younger, sat in the tub with my mother above me on the ledge, pouring water over my Johnson & Johnson-scented head? Was it me she was writing about? For the first time in my life, it occurred to me to question her love. And even though I quickly decided that of course she loved me deeply — she was wonderfully attentive and caring and expressive — I never forgot this scene. It made me realize that adults could possess ambivalence and think dark thoughts. It gave me an aperture into adult life, and I was unnerved.
As an adolescent, I jokingly formed an organization called COW (Children of Writers), along with the daughters of a well-known novelist and a poet. We met once or twice over Chinese food to gently mock our parents and then, in a burst of loyal guilt at the end of the evening, to hastily praise them. In the ensuing years, membership has grown, at least in my mind. Recently it occurred to me that Molly Jong-Fast, daughter of Erica Jong, should perhaps be our chapter president (or at the very least our executive treasurer), for the wonderful, fearless “Fear of Flying” is a book that practically taunts its author’s child: “Try living with this!”
I first encountered Jong-Fast when both of us were accompanying our mothers to the Breadloaf Writer’s Conference. I was a prickly, slouching young adult, and she was a beaming red-haired little girl who was still unaware of her mother’s fame and sexual wit. I was tempted to grab her beneath the birch trees and whisper, “Call me! I’ve been through a miniature, low-level version of what you’ll be going through!” Because when your mother writes a book that includes unabashedly sexual material, it becomes an object that must be reckoned with; it becomes a part of your consciousness and, in a sense, your identity. Certainly, you react. You might become pierced and wanton. You might think the whole thing is pretty cool. You might become a Shaker and take a vow of celibacy. Or you might become a writer yourself.
Jong-Fast, who did become a writer, has a new book out, “The Sex Doctors in the Basement,” which deals in part with her famous mother. The book was praised in advance by kindred “child of” spirit Moon Unit Zappa. (What’s the matter, they couldn’t get Frieda Plath?)
When I began writing fiction, my first efforts were probably an unconscious response to my mother’s writing. It wasn’t as if I made one of my young characters sit and look at her mother across the kitchen table, thinking, “I don’t love you, kiddo,” nor did I go for a big fellatio scene. But I did realize that writing was a way to hammer out ambivalence, just as my mother had done. I discovered that I was filled with ambivalence about almost everything, including sex, which I incorporated into my writing tentatively, not unlike the way most people first begin to incorporate it into their lives.
The fact that I’ve recently written a novel that features sex front and center reflects my longtime thoughts not only about that subject, but also about shame. My novel, “The Position,” follows the lives of four grown children whose parents wrote a “Joy of Sex”-type book back in the 1970s, featuring illustrations of themselves making love. My instinctive sense is that to be a child of parents — any parents — is to be ashamed. Shame separates the generations, draws a neat line between us and them, which psychoanalysts would say is useful, even urgently necessary. Shame, along with its pale stepsister, modesty, provides an effective shield against incestuous acts.
But what children are often ashamed of about their parents is not only sex, but also the simple fact of “adultness.” When we’re young and we witness older people doing just about anything without children around — eating, laughing, dancing — we sometimes feel slightly uncomfortable, and we experience the vague impetus to break up their fun. Writers celebrate their adultness in the most public way, and their children feel a responsive uneasiness, and are powerless to do anything about it. In the arena of sex, where the state of being adult is highly concentrated, most parents keep a lock on the door when it’s appropriate, protecting children from the supposedly blinding sight of the primal scene. But the children of writers are given an open door, and it’s up to them to decide whether to peer inside.
Over the years I’ve wondered how some of my friends navigate writing about sex and not upsetting their children. “Don’t worry,” I recently overheard novelist Cathleen Schine say cheerfully to another fiction writer. “Your kids will probably never read your books. Mine don’t.” Her children view their mother’s work as about as compelling as the work of a management consultant or travel agent. They would rather not read her descriptions of sex, but they would also rather not read her descriptions of an oak leaf or a summer morning in Maine.
Curiosity can be aroused slowly, though, over long stretches of time. I feel fairly sure that there will be a day when her children casually open one of her books, then dip in with gusto, or hesitation, or anxiety, but certainly with interest. I have no idea how that will make her feel, but it’s probably more comfortable for most writers to imagine a perpetually uninterested child than one who turns a wide eye toward the complex hive of ideas and images that comprises his mother’s or father’s fiction. Most parents go to great lengths in their lives to try to temper, or modulate, or at least partially control their own authenticity in front of their children. When a child opens a parent’s book, all control is lost. Our hard-won opacity gives way to visibility, and suddenly we stand there like those Visible Woman and Visible Man anatomical models from our own childhoods, whose pumping hearts and cerebellums and delicate threading of veins are on display for all to see.
My own children have been rising up from their slumber of self-absorption and asking questions lately. “What’s your new book about?” my fourth-grader wants to know. “Sex” is the answer I would say to an interviewer, but I give my son another answer, not any less true, but one that will make both of us more comfortable. “Family,” I tell him, and for the moment — maybe the briefest of moments — he is satisfied, and so am I.
Meg Wolitzer is a novelist whose latest book, "The Position," has just been published by Scribner. More Meg Wolitzer.
“People Who Eat Darkness”: The disappearing blonde
A true crime story set in Tokyo illuminates the complicated truths behind media cliches
Joji Obara and Lucie Blackman (Credit: Estate of Lucie Jane Blackman) Lucie Blackman, 21, went out for the afternoon in 2000, phoning her roommate and best friend Louise to arrange a meeting later that night. Lucie never showed up, and within a few days she’d become one of those vanished blondes whose fates fuel headlines and hours of speculative media coverage. She was British, a former flight attendant, and she and Louise were living in Tokyo. They were also bar hostesses, a profession with a very specific meaning in Japan, difficult to explain to foreigners and not entirely clear to the Japanese themselves. Lucie both did and didn’t match the classic Missing Blonde profile, and for a while the mystery of what happened to her threatened to lapse into permanent obscurity.
Continue Reading Close
Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Corporate criminals gone wild
The maker of the documentary film "Inside Job" has a new book excoriating Wall Street -- and President Obama
A detail from the cover of "Predator Nation" “Inside Job,” Charles Ferguson’s Oscar-winning documentary film on how government, Wall Street and academia colluded to deliver us the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, made a powerful case that something was very very rotten at the heart of the American political/economic nexus. His follow-up book, “Predator Nation: Corporate Criminals, Political Corruption, and the Hijacking of America,” can be considered the legal brief that dots every “i” and crosses every “t” in his argument. A tightly argued, profusely footnoted and deeply enraged castigation of everyone involved, “Predator Nation” isn’t just a factually unchallengeable account of how Wall Street blew up the global economy. It’s a denunciation, a call for justice and a warning: After getting away with the crime of the century, Wall Street still isn’t satisfied.
Continue Reading Close
Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon. On Twitter, @koxinga21. More Andrew Leonard.
Can you identify?
Science shows that the only way around some readers' prejudices is to trick them
(Credit: Shutterstock/Salon) The news of recent research documenting how readers identify with the main characters in stories has mostly been taken as confirmation of the value of literary role models. Lisa Libby, an assistant professor at Ohio State University and co-author of a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, explained that subjects who read a short story in which the protagonist overcomes obstacles in order to vote were more likely to vote themselves several days later.
The suggestibility of readers isn’t news. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s novel of a sensitive young man destroyed by unrequited love, “The Sorrows of Young Werther,” inspired a rash of suicides by would-be Werthers in the late 1700s. Jack Kerouac has launched a thousand road trips. Still, this is part of science’s job: Running empirical tests on common knowledge — if for no other reason than because common knowledge (and common sense) is often wrong.
Continue Reading Close
Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
“The Aleppo Codex”: The bizarre history of a precious book
A reporter traces the shadowy fate of the definitive version of the Hebrew Bible
Matti Friedman An ancient and priceless book, a murky history of evasions and coverups, an underground of sinister and possibly violent dealers, a former spy who drops tantalizing hints and a wily 84-year-old millionaire who says stuff like, “The problem with this story is that it could damage your health”: Are these the ingredients for a cheesy, improbable historical thriller? Yet “The Aleppo Codex,” Matti Friedman’s account of his attempts to learn the history of one of the world’s most precious books, sports all of these assets, and it’s nonfiction. If reporting this story damaged Friedman’s health, it probably happened when he realized what he’d stumbled into and his reporter’s heart started beating in doubletime.
Continue Reading Close
Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
Augusten Burroughs: Conquer trauma by letting it go
Salon exclusive: The best-selling memoirist says past horrors haunt us because we think about them too much. Stop
Augusten Burroughs Many people continue to feel influenced and even controlled by the things that happened to them a long time ago. Sometimes, people harbor dark, traumatic memories from childhood. Or fragments of memories — incomplete scenes, uncomfortable feelings, perhaps even a sense of certainty that something specific and terrible happened to them, but little more than this.
Others experienced something traumatic in adulthood that continues to affect them day to day many years later. Maybe an assault has left a person afraid to leave their home or enter a particular neighborhood.
Continue Reading CloseAugusten Burroughs' many books include "Runnning With Scissors," "Dry," "Sellevision," "Magical Thinking" and "Possible Side Effects." His latest book is "This Is How." More Augusten Burroughs.
Page 1 of 984 in Books