Fiction
“Bangkok Tattoo” by John Burdett
In this follow-up to "Bangkok 8," Buddhist police detective Sonchai Jitpleecheep is back, exposing more corruption -- and hilarity -- in the Thai capital's red-light district.
John Burdett’s giddy, wicked, hilarious crime novels are not for the oversensitive American. Amazon.com reader reviews for “Bangkok 8,” the first installment in his series featuring Sonchai Jitpleecheep, a Buddhist police detective in the Thai capital’s red light district, whine about the book’s “anti-Western” attitude. Now, with the arrival of the eagerly awaited sequel, “Bangkok Tattoo,” even Entertainment Weekly has gotten in on the act, complaining of “stereotypes.”
To which we, the devoted admirers of Sonchai, say: Pussies! Or, to hew closer in the spirit of our long-suffering, semi-enlightened hero: Lighten up, farang. The chance to view Westerners through skeptical Asian eyes (sort of; after all, Burdett is a Brit living in Hong Kong) is one of the things that make the Bangkok 8 novels so delicious. The story lines are baroquely perverse (“a transsexual Thai — M2F — murders a black American marine with drug-crazed cobras — standard stuff in District 8″ is how Sonchai sums up the first book), but all the fizz comes from crossing the culture gap.
“Bangkok Tattoo” begins with a near-catastrophe at the Old Man’s Club, a brothel catering to Western baby boomers (Viagra tout inclus; Lou Reed on the jukebox) of which Sonchai, somewhat against his wishes, is a co-owner. The other proprietors are Nong, his mother — “not merely an exceptionally successful whore (ret.) but also a full-fledged 21st-century businesswoman of international quality” — and his boss, Police Colonel Vikorn, a puppet master who makes Machiavelli look like Forrest Gump. Their “superstar” employee, the divine Chanya, has staggered out of her hotel room, leaving a disemboweled and castrated American john behind.
It’s immediately clear to everyone that what’s required is “not an investigation per se, but that infinitely more challenging forensic task so lightly spoken of as a ‘cover-up.’” After all, it’s unthinkable that Chanya be subjected to the “crude and undiscriminating justice they have in America where, if they extradited her, they would never make allowances for her youth and beauty, the stress inherent in her profession, or the ugliness of her victim.”
But when the victim turns out to be CIA, things get complicated. Vikorn, whose “super brain” Sonchai regards with an abiding awe, plants a long black beard hair — purloined from the body of a dead terrorist — on the scene: “They’re practically blaming the weather on Al Qaeda over there,” he barks. “Just say it’s Al Qaeda and they’ll be eating out of our hands.” The real story, uncovered by Sonchai through the inevitable twists, turns and switchbacks (including a visit to the undeveloped, more Muslim south), turns out to be so bizarre the CIA wouldn’t believe it anyway.
Even a moderately alert farang reader, though, will probably be able to spot the true culprit before Sonchai does, but then ingenious mystery plots aren’t really Burdett’s speciality. The story merely provides the pretext for a tour through Sonchai’s “parallel universe,” a place where corruption is how things work, and they work very well, thank you. It’s a place where Vikorn and Nong look back fondly on the Vietnam War, when he was trading opium in Laos and she catered to the GIs who smoked it. (“An opiated man is more or less impotent — which reduced the wear and tear on a professional’s assets — and not inclined to argue about fee structure.”)
“Bangkok Tattoo” is less concerned with Sonchai’s delicate negotiations with his own faith than “Bangkok 8″ was. (He’s the only policeman in town who doesn’t take bribes, and his investigative tools include dream messages from his late partner and glimpses of suspects’ past lives.) The perils and opportunities faced by Chanya, and the absurd efforts of American intelligence to do anything more than make fools of themselves in Southeast Asia (“Imagine an overmuscled, six-foot farang with an interpreter trying to be incognito down in Hat Yai on a Friday night among our little brown people,” Vikorn groans) take center stage. Sometimes the truth hurts, but if your skin’s not too thin for it, District 8 is the place to be.
Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
50 shades of Shutterstock
Slide show: Everyone's favorite light-bondage bestseller illustrated by inexplicable stock photography SLIDE SHOW
This week, for roughly the millionth time, E.L. James’ romance-bondage trilogy “50 Shades” nabs the No. 1, 2 and 3 spots on the New York Times bestseller lists. We don’t get it either. Every page of that book, which famously began as “Twilight” fan fiction, elicits a sigh of confusion and weird secondary embarrassment. The question is: Who would read this? (The answer is: Apparently everyone.) It’s the same baffled, helpless feeling we get when we sort through stock photos on a daily basis. Stock photos – which have been the subject of recent outstanding Internet satire – are used by this site, and many others, to illustrate our flood of content. Many are plain and simple, but a good portion are flat-out mind-blowing. Why did anyone think that photo was a good idea? It only made sense to join these forces. And so, we present to you passages from the most head-scratching bestseller of our time, illustrated with the assistance of inexplicable stock photography.
Megaphone by Natalie Bakopoulos
Miracles happen, even in an Athens crippled by a garbage strike, to a young mother unsure of her ability to love
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) It’s the third week of the garbage strike and Athens has begun to smell. Bright-colored trash bags fill the curbs and alleyways, and we have learned to step over the rubbish and avoid the blocks that had become unnavigable. We know which stretches are particularly foul — a stretch along Mavili Square, or the entire top end of Monastiraki. Odos Athinas is a sea of trash, and Omonia is ghastly but we don’t go there anyway. May has gone from unseasonably cool to raging hot, and the garbage seems to be melting. In front of the museum it’s like yet another installation project. When I arrive each morning I want to wretch.
Continue Reading CloseNatalie Bakopoulos's first novel, "The Green Shore," will be published by Simon & Schuster in June 2012. Her work has appeared in Tin House, Ninth Letter, Granta Online, and The O. Henry Prize Stories 2010, and she is a contributing editor for the online journal Fiction Writers Review. More Natalie Bakopoulos.
Almost by Chris Pavone
She never thought of herself as ambitious, until motherhood and career collided in one horrifying hospital ride
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) It’s just before dawn when Isabel puts the final page down on the fat stack of paper that sits on the rumpled bedspread, next to an overflowing crystal ashtray and a crumpled soft-pack of cigarettes. She’d tried Wellbutrin and Xanax; she’d used patches and gum. In the end, the only thing that made her quit smoking was being pregnant.
But then, after everything, she couldn’t help but start up again. At first it was just a single cigarette per day, or two. Then it became a few, and within months she was back to full-throttle. Over the past couple of years, she’s tried to quit a few times, but not seriously. She anticipates — she accepts — failure. Because she doesn’t want to quit, not really. She wants instead to try, and fail.
Continue Reading CloseMemorial Day fiction: Are we there yet?
Salon exclusive: At the start of the summer fiction season, new stories from Chris Pavone and Natalie Bakopoulos
(Credit: iStockphoto/caracterdesign) “Are we there yet?”
It’s a dreaded sentence. When it’s spoken by an anxious child from the back seat, it’s enough to make stressed-out parents wish they’d never taken a family vacation in the first place. And even if it’s delivered as a sing-songy punch line, from an impatient partner or spouse on a long road trip, it’s an irritating eye-roller of a joke.
So this Memorial Day weekend — the unofficial start of the summer vacation season, and therefore the summer fiction season — we asked two novelists to reclaim the sentence in a new and adult context. For our latest fiction project, there was only one simple rule: Each story had to include the line “Are we there yet?” in a fresh and surprising way.
Continue Reading CloseDavid Daley is the senior culture editor of Salon. More David Daley.
“Frankenstein” remixed
This masterful new adaptation of Mary Shelley's classic novel may be the best interactive fiction yet
Whatever interactive fiction is (and we’re still figuring that out) it suffers from all the problems of traditional fiction and then some. The vast majority of novels and short stories aren’t much good, but when a branching fiction — along the lines of the old “Choose Your Own Adventure” children’s books — fails to engage, the first impulse is to blame the form rather than the content. Let “Frankenstein,” just released by Inkle Studios and Profile Books, serve as a reproach to that reflex. The app is a creative, subtle and sensitive adaptation of Mary Shelley’s classic novella, and it has singlehandedly renewed this critic’s hopes for interactive fiction.
Laura Miller is a senior writer for Salon. She is the author of "The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia" and has a Web site, magiciansbook.com. More Laura Miller.
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