Food
The joys of home fries and wine
Two characters from "The Achewood Cookbook" offer recipes and their opinions about fine food and drink. Bon appetit!
A Meditation on Home Fries
Thoughts & recipe by Roast Beef
I think all of us are kind of on a life-long quest for a breakfast restaurant where the home fries ain’t completely horrible. You know what I’m talkin’ about. I know cooks at breakfast restaurants ain’t usually too well trained but dang I have seen some messed-up home fries in my day.
Major Problems of Restaurant Home Fries
1. There is no commonly agreed upon definition of “home fries”
2. There is no agreed upon size for “home fry” cubes
3. Some people apparently think home fries need to be extremely gray and soft
4. No one seems to agree what should be thrown in with home fries (i.e. onion, bell pepper, garlic, etc.) or how they should be spiced
5. I have even seen home fries where the potatoes were somehow chewy. Once you make a potato chewy you are doing things so wrong that you would be better off just not touching the potato at all, and instead giving it to the customer so that he could take it home and try to make sense of it himself.
The Right Kind of Potato
Red potatoes (which are a “waxy” type of potato) can be cubed and throw directly into the pan. Russet potatoes (“starchy”) need to be soaked and rinsed a few times before they can be fried, otherwise all their starch gums up the process. I prefer the ready-to-go potato for morning cookery.
The Right Cut
The home fry potato should be cut into uniform cubes about the size of computer keyboard keys. This makes them big enough to get a crispy surface while just turning creamy soft on the inside. It also makes them easier to pick up with a fork and stick some eggs with. Much smaller and they’d be trouble to a fork.
The Right Cooking Method
The best thing you can do to a cooking home fry is leave it alone. Constantly flipping them all around just keeps them from getting that nice golden brown crust. Trusting yourself enough to leave frying food alone is a major milestone on the way to learning how to pan fry. Only undisturbed food can form a great golden crust.
Put a nonstick frying pan over medium-high heat and add enough oil to just coat the entire bottom. When a drop of water thrown into the oil sizzles, throw in your potatoes to make one even layer. Don’t stack — use multiple pans if you need more potatoes. Toss a few times in the oil and then just leave be. In a few minutes of sizzlin’ you should see some brown creepin’ up the bottom edges of the potato cubes — that’s how you know when to flip them. Let them fry several more minutes after flipping so that multiple sides get that nice golden brown. Taste a cube every now and then to see when they’re creamy inside. When they are, you’re done. Slide them onto your plate and sprinkle lightly with salt.
The Right Seasoning
If you salted the potatoes a few times during frying and then once more lightly at the end when they were removed from the pan, you don’t need a bunch of crazy seasonings. The potatoes themselves have a beautiful flavor and don’t need a bunch of miserable onion powder or celery salt. Don’t get bogus with your potatoes. I have seen a lot of breakfast restaurants try to make up for all of their other shortcomings (lousy tea, filthy bathroom with a safe in it, waiters with dreadlocks) by putting like ten spices on the home fries.
DANG
Usually home fries cook the slowest of any item in your breakfast meal. Eggs, bacon, ham, pancakes — these all cook faster. So cook off your home fries first and put them in a bowl in a low-heat oven. Put foil over ‘em if they’re gonna be in there more than a few minutes. This will keep them from drying out.
There you have it, perfect home fries every time for pennies on the restaurant dollar.
Oh yeah:
Ingredients for One Serving
1 baseball-sized red potato
Oil (olive oil preferred, vegetable oil OK)
Salt
How You Gotta Enjoy Wine
Technique by Ray Smuckles
What’s the big deal with wine?! I think in the 80s and 90s people thought it was kind of a complicated thing. You know, like how you had to have the perfect wine to go with whatever food you were eating, or you would look like some kind of clown with a problem in his mind. Man, that is ridiculous. You ain’t gotta be careful about wine. You just gotta have some. On that note, here are some tips on the basic enjoyment of wine.
Stick with bottled wine.
Basically, don’t get the stuff that comes in the box unless you’re just plannin’ on goin’ crazy for the night (gonna jump on the hood of a friend’s car that’s peelin’ out, etc).
All whites: keep in fridge. All reds: room temperature.
Beyond that there is a whole other world, but all you gotta know is this: there’s reds, and there’s whites. You always serve a white wine chilled (fridge temperature) and a red at room temperature. I don’t need to explain why this is. It is basic.
Don’t worry a bunch about matching wine to food.
“How do I match my wine with the food that I made? Can you tell me?” people ask. Ain’t no one cares if you match the wine to the food! You know how some people got perfect pitch, and always like wince and complain about whatever you play on your musical instrument, or point out how the music you listen to isn’t actually “correct”? And they only listen to classical music? They are like the people who worry about wine matching food. Everyone hates them.
You should not hate the way a wine tastes.
If you take a sip and you completely hate it because it is awful, then there is a problem with the wine. Sometimes wine interacts with the cork and tastes like a swamp. You can return that wine to the store for a full refund. If they say you’ve had too much of it, maybe go through the produce section and kind of knock some fruit down on the floor.
Sometimes decanting and breathing a wine can soften its strong original taste. What is all that mumbo jumbo? It is a way of mixing the wine with more air so that all the nasty stuff takes off into the environment. To decant and breathe a wine, simply pour it into a decanter and leave it open for a half hour or so. If you never got a decanter from anyone, just pour the wine into a big bowl and then put a turkey baster by the bowl so that people can serve themselves some perfect wine.
There are different ways to hold different wines.
You know stemware? Glasses with stems? Then I got two tips to help you not make a tacky mistake next time you are at a party. It is real basic:
Is there white wine in the glass? Hold it by the stem.
This way your hand does not heat the wine. Yes, the situation is really that delicate. And people will notice. There is nothin’ more trashy than a lady holdin’ white wine by the bowl of the glass. I immediately leave the party if there is a lady like that there.
Red wine in the glass? Hold it by the bowl.
The making of the term ‘pink slime’
A simple nickname that forever changed an entire industry
FILE - In this March 29, 2012 file photo, the beef product known as lean finely textured beef, or "pink slime," is displayed during a plant tour of Beef Products Inc. in South Sioux City, Neb., where the product is made. Gerald Zirnstein, the microbiologist who coined the term "pink slime," says it came to him in the spur of the moment as he was composing an email to a coworker at the U.S. Department of Agriculture a decade ago. Although it's been used as a filler for decades, the product became the center of controversy only after Zirnstein's vivid moniker for it was quoted in a 2009 New York Times article on the safety of meat processing methods. (AP Photo/Nati Harnik, File)(Credit: AP) NEW YORK (AP) — “Pink slime” was almost “pink paste” or “pink goo.”
The microbiologist who coined the term for lean finely textured beef ran through a few iterations in his head before pressing send on an email to a co-worker at the U.S. Department of Agriculture a decade ago. Then, the name hit him like heartburn after a juicy burger.
“It’s pink. It’s pasty. And it’s slimy looking. So I called it pink slime,” said Gerald Zirnstein, the former meat inspector at the USDA. “It resonates, doesn’t it?”
Continue Reading CloseDid slaves catch your seafood?
Thailand, a major source of fish imported to the US, depends on forced labor for its product
(Credit: Alena Brozova via Shutterstock) PREY VENG, Cambodia, and SAMUT SAKHON, Thailand — In the sun-baked flatlands of Cambodia, where dust stings the eyes and chokes the pores, there is a tiny clapboard house on cement stilts. It is home to three generations of runaway slaves.
The man of the house, Sokha, recently returned after nearly two years in captivity. His home is just as he left it: barren with a few dirty pillows passing for furniture. Slivers of daylight glow through cracks in the walls. The family’s most valuable possession, a sow, waddles and snorts beneath the elevated floorboards.
Horrors we hide
From slaughterhouses to sweatshops, modern society is constructed to let us ignore atrocities
Workers at a Seagate Wuxi factory in China (Credit: Robert Scoble / CC BY 2.0) Would Americans eat less meat, and would animals be treated more humanely, if slaughterhouses were made with glass walls and we all could see the monstrous killing apparatus at work? This is the query at the heart of Timothy Pachirat’s new book, “Every Twelve Seconds” — the title a reference to the typical slaughterhouse’s cattle-killing rate.
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David Sirota is a best-selling author of the new book "Back to Our Future: How the 1980s Explain the World We Live In Now." He hosts the morning show on AM760 in Colorado. E-mail him at ds@davidsirota.com, follow him on Twitter @davidsirota or visit his website at www.davidsirota.com. More David Sirota.
Lessons of a reluctant hunter
A transplant to Oregon teaches me about growing up in rural Mexico, killing iguanas and grilling chicken
Jazmin Rudin with her mother, Esperanza Jazmin is 27 years old and beautiful. She has the fierce, dark beauty of a Mexican Indian, but she’s tall, and when you see her move, you think Masai warrior or maybe ninja. And it’s true: She does have ninja skills. When I first met Jazmin, she’d just killed a pheasant. She was sitting on the deck talking with a friend when she spotted the bird at the edge of the yard, 20 feet away. She casually picked up a two-by-four and hurled it. The missile hit the pheasant in the head, a neat kill. Jazmin walked over and picked it up. “Dinner,” she said.
Continue Reading CloseFelisa Rogers studied history and nonfiction writing at the Evergreen State College and went on to teach writing to kids for five years. She lives in Oregon’s coast range, where she works as a freelance writer and editor. More Felisa Rogers.
Pink slime monster runs amok
The beef product processing industry is in a world of pain. Another scalp for social media?
The beef ingredient dubbed “pink slime.” (Credit: AP/Beef Products, Inc.) The battle over “pink slime” is getting messier. Blaming an “unfounded public outcry over the use of boneless lean beef trimmings” in the nation’s commercially sold ground beef supply, meat processor AFA Foods Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection on Monday. Beef Products Inc. — the South Dakota-based meat titan that invented the pink slime manufacturing process — is also reeling, idling plants in multiple states. In response, Iowa Gov. Terry Branstad, a politician who hails from a state where there is a whole lot of boneless beef extrusion going on, called for a congressional investigation into the causes of the public uproar.
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Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon. On Twitter, @koxinga21. More Andrew Leonard.
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