Television
TV Daily
Salon's guide to what to watch on Monday: Meet Brad Womack, the man they're calling the sexiest "Bachelor" ever.
Prime Pick
Photo: ABC
Naturally the matches made on ABC’s “The Bachelor” (10 p.m. EDT) rarely pan out — last year’s Bachelor Andy Baldwin and Tessa Horst called off their engagement in August — but you still might want to tune in Monday night and take a gander at the guy whom everyone’s calling the sexiest “Bachelor” ever: Austin, Texas, native Brad Womack. The girl-porn aspect of the show certainly isn’t lost on its producers, who offer up so many shots of Womack’s bare, meaty chest in the first few minutes of the show — including one absurd shot of him lathering up in the shower — that you’ll think you flipped over to the Playgirl Channel by accident. (If you doubt us, check out the less-than-subtle promos on the ABC Web site.) Meanwhile, back at the Playgirl Mansion, the ladies are getting sauced and falling all over themselves just to get a second alone with their gentle giant. As sick and wrong as almost every single aspect of this show is, you really have to hand it to ABC for managing to make it more and more ridiculous every season. Send in the clowns!
Also…
Part 6 of Ken Burns’ seven-part documentary series on WWII, “The War,” airs at 8 p.m. EDT on PBS (check local listings), and CW’s “Everybody Hates Chris” returns for its third season at 8 p.m. “Aliens in America,” a charmingly odd comedy about a Pakistani exchange student sent to live in suburban Wisconsin, premieres at 8:30 p.m. EDT on CW.
On the talk shows
Regis and KellyABC, 9 a.m. EDT |
Adrien Brody, Chris Meloni, Jarod Miller |
The ViewABC, 11 a.m. EDT |
Jason Schwartzman, Chris Matthews, Nick Kroll |
Ellen DeGeneresSyndicated, check local listings |
Queen Latifah |
Oprah WinfreySyndicated, check local listings |
TBA |
Charlie RosePBS, check local listings |
TBA |
Larry KingCNN, 9 p.m. EDT |
Suze Orman |
Jon StewartComedy Central, 11 p.m. EDT |
TBA |
Stephen ColbertComedy Central, 11:30 p.m. EDT |
Rev. Gene Robinson |
David LettermanCBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT |
Sean Penn, Barry Sonnenfeld, Ben Harper |
Jay LenoNBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT |
Emeril Lagasse, Tori Amos |
Tavis SmileyPBS, check local listings |
Panel discussion on Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas with Marc Morial, Cornel West, Farah Griffin |
Jimmy KimmelABC, 12:05 a.m. EDT |
Amy Brenneman, Tom Ruprecht, Harry Shearer (repeat) |
Conan O’BrienNBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT |
Jerry O’Connell, Ken Burns, VHS or Beta |
Craig FergusonCBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT |
Juliette Lewis, David Boreanaz |
Contributors: Megan Doll, Heather Havrilesky, Eryn Loeb, Amy Reiter
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Ernest Hemingway made silly
HBO's unintentionally hilarious "Hemingway & Gellhorn" gets everything disastrously wrong
Nicole Kidman and Clive Owen in "Hemingway & Gellhorn" Here’s something you should consider doing before watching HBO’s inadvertent comedy “Hemingway & Gellhorn,” a disastrous two-and-a-half-hour CliffsNotes on the passionate, dysfunctional love affair between Ernest Hemingway (Clive Owen) and his third wife, the war correspondent Martha Gellhorn (Nicole Kidman), which airs Monday night. Find some Hemingway — take it off the shelf, download it to a Kindle, load a page of “The Sun Also Rises” onto your computer via Google books — and leave it within arm’s reach. You are going to want to read from it at fairly regular intervals to remind yourself that though he may have been a drunk, a brute and a womanizer, Ernest Hemingway was not a complete and total idiot. And then you can also use it to shield your eyes from the movie’s myriad crimes against sepia, its extensive use of what appear to be Instagram photo effects, the hot pink blood, Metallica’s Lars Ulrich in a beret, and the scene toward the end of the film in which Kidman’s face is superimposed over real footage of emaciated bodies at Auschwitz and Dachau.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
“American Idol”: Riveting despite itself
We all knew Phillip Phillips would win. Yes, the judges are nuts. So why did I feel real emotion anyway?
The final episode of any season of “American Idol” is always a smiling show of force, a confetti-laden massacre of time. After a nearly 40-episode season, along comes the gargantuan finale, an enormous spectacle that contains exactly one minute of real content — when the winners are announced — and two-plus hours of filler. Last night’s episode was nominally about who would be declared the winner of the 11thseason of “Idol” — Phillip Phillips, the humorously named yet handsome guitarist with a twang in his voice and shirts cut to display exactly the appropriate sliver of chest hair, or the huge-voiced, personality-less 16-year old Jessica Sanchez. But sleepily good-looking white guys (and Scotty McCreery) have won the last four seasons of “Idol,” and Phillips was pretty much a lock before the night even began. And so it is a commendation to the near-military professionalism of “Idol” that somehow, for the last half-hour or so, I was riveted to the screen.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
More sex and disasters, please
TV season finales used to be about crazy couplings and exciting explosions. Where did the fun go?
Gabriel Mann and Emily VanCamp in "Revenge" There are a few times of year when network television can typically be relied upon to be as interesting as cable: The fall, when the networks vomit out dozens of new programs; February, when the networks cough up a dozen or so more; and May, when all the series that have survived the year try to end in spectacular fashion. During this last period, season-finale time, couples couple, get married and have babies; characters quit, get fired and die; disasters occur; buildings explode; guns blaze; hatches are discovered and protagonists are left dangling off cliffs, both actual and metaphorical. It’s the TV equivalent of blockbuster season, and like blockbuster season, it can and should be fun. Though in recent years cable shows have been responsible for a disproportionate number of the “Holy crap, did that just happen?!” finales (hello, Gus Fring and his brand-new face!), network shows are usually good for at least some insanity, some drama, some transcendent event that will get people talking around the storied watercooler. Not this year. Nope, this year, season finale season has been a bust.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
As Kristen Wiig departs “SNL,” what’s next for women?
"Saturday Night Live" says goodbye to a star -- and leaves late night without a queen
Mick Jagger and Kristen Wiig during the season finale of "Saturday Night Live" What, you didn’t get to dance with Mick Jagger, hug Jon Hamm and be serenaded by Arcade Fire the last time you left a job? I guess you’re not Kristen Wiig.
After seven years on “SNL,” Wiig said goodbye on Saturday night’s season finale that will go down as one of the sweetest, most choked-up moments on the show since Steve Martin said goodbye to Gilda Radner on the day of her death almost exactly 23 years earlier.
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Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.
What’s “Community” without Dan Harmon?
Less ambitious shows might survive losing a creator. But firing the prickly showrunner bodes poorly for next season
Dan Harmon (Credit: AP/Matt Sayles) A recent episode of NBC’s “Community” floated the possibility — debunked by episode’s end — that the seven main characters had not spent the previous three years navigating life, each other and paintball fights at Greendale Community College, but instead, had only been imagining them. In the episode, the recently expelled Greendale Seven found themselves in a group therapy session with a nefarious shrink, keen to keep them away from their college using any psychological means necessary. The therapist temporarily convinced them they had spent the previous years in a mental institution and that everything they remembered happening at school, except their friendship, had been a collective fantasy, a “shared psychosis” dreamed up in the asylum.
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Willa Paskin is Salon's staff TV writer. More Willa Paskin.
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