Movies
“Teeth”
This schlocky horror movie about a teenager with teeth in her vagina lacks ... bite.
In Mitchell Lichtenstein’s “Teeth,” a teenage girl discovers that she’s a living example of the vagina dentata: When she’s sexually assaulted, those choppers chomp down — they’re her body’s way of adapting to the more hostile side of mankind. The vagina dentata myth, a handy way of symbolizing male fears about the power of women, has been kicking around for centuries. “Teeth” uses the myth as a framework on which to hang assorted horror-movie conventions — this is a beast that attacks from within — and to make a few vague, watery observations about the nature of sexual politics. But the picture is unfocused and indistinct; there’s a noncommittal quality to the filmmaking. “Teeth” hinges on one strong idea but doesn’t know quite where to take it, wobbling awkwardly between going for laughs and making its semi-delineated points.
Jess Weixler plays Dawn, a sweet blonde who’s the chief spokesperson for her school’s chastity group. “We have a gift,” she tells a group of classmates who have gathered around her. The idea is that you’re not supposed to give away your purity to any old schmoe.
But when Dawn meets Tobey (Hale Appleman), a fellow chastity advocate, she finds herself dangerously drawn to him, an attraction that confuses her and eventually lands her in trouble. She also has to deal with the unwanted attentions of her stepbrother, Brad (John Hensley), who, as a toddler, lost the tip of his finger by sticking it in a place where he shouldn’t have: The experience appears to have permanently warped his mind.
“Teeth” is mildly entertaining in places — you can’t beat a bloodied, disembodied penis for grim laughs — but it’s not nearly as deep or as thought-provoking as Lichtenstein clearly intends it to be. (He was inspired to explore the vagina dentata myth after first learning about it from one of his college teachers, Camille Paglia.) The picture has a certain earnestness in its favor, but it’s dragged down by a lack of wit and energy. The chief reason to see it is Weixler’s performance: She has a dewy, dreamy look about her, as if she’d just emerged, blinking, from the center of a giant flower. She’s as surprised as anyone to learn that she’s not the soft, helpless thing she appears to be. Weixler navigates the drama of that discovery with a degree of subtlety that defies the schlocky silliness of the movie around her. It’s a pointed performance in a movie that mostly just gums its subject.
Stephanie Zacharek is a senior writer for Salon Arts & Entertainment. More Stephanie Zacharek.
Pick of the week: Haunting, gorgeous “Oslo, August 31st”
Pick of the week: "Oslo, August 31st" is a wrenching voyage of discovery in Norway's suddenly trendy capital
“Oslo, August 31st” is, as the title suggests, an evocation of one day in the Norwegian capital, as experienced by a troubled young man who’s facing the end of summer and the end of his youth. It’s a marvelously constructed personal journey, both wrenching and bittersweet, whose emotional ripple effects stay with you for days and weeks afterward. While much of international art cinema can seem overly talky or conceptually alien to American viewers, this second feature film from Norwegian director Joachim Trier is a dynamic, even breathtaking visual experience without much dialogue or any philosophical heavy lifting, following the bony, handsome, exceedingly vulnerable Anders (Anders Danielsen Lie) through coffee shops, nightclubs and bodies of water, en route to an ambiguous final destination.
Continue Reading Close“Moonrise Kingdom”: Wes Anderson’s mid-’60s love story
Bruce Willis and Ed Norton are at their best in the rapturous summer fantasy "Moonrise Kingdom"
Tilda Swinton, Bruce Willis and Edward Norton in "Moonrise Kingdom" All the details of Wes Anderson’s rapturous and hilarious mid-1960s New England summer romance “Moonrise Kingdom,” taken one at a time, are plausible. Indeed they are more than plausible; they’re perfect, from the fitted uniforms and yellow canvas tents of the troop of “Khaki Scouts” headed by cigarette-smoking Edward Norton to the achingly picturesque island home where the brood of children belonging to Bill Murray and Frances McDormand sit around listening to the Leonard Bernstein recording of “A Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra.” (I’m not going to bother questioning whether that record existed in 1965; some production intern probably spent half a day tracking down its history.)
Continue Reading CloseMovie assailant punches a kid, becomes a folk hero
A 10-year-old gets punched in the face for being too noisy at "Titanic" -- and the Internet applauds the beating
(Credit: iStockphoto/IBushuev) It’s a general rule of thumb that a grown man doesn’t get a lot of support for knocking out a 10-year-old child’s teeth. But Yong Hyun Kim has won himself a few fans lately for doing just that.
Back on April 11, the 21-year-old Washington state man settled in with his girlfriend to enjoy “Titanic” in 3D — right in front of a boy known only in police documents as KJJ. What ensued led to a night in jail and a charge of second-degree assault.
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Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.
“The Intouchables”: Racial comedy, French style
"The Intouchables" is the biggest foreign-language film of all time. Some critics say it's also racist
A still from "The Intouchables" Here’s a startling news item: “The Intouchables,” a lively if largely predictable Parisian comedy about a wealthy quadriplegic and his ne’er-do-well immigrant caretaker, has become the biggest international success in the history of French cinema. Indeed, according to some sources — and these things are notoriously difficult to measure on a global and historical scale — “The Intouchables” is now the biggest non-Anglophone film of all time, with a worldwide gross approaching $300 million.
Continue Reading CloseMale grooming: The movie
From beard contests to ball cream, Morgan Spurlock's "Mansome" goofs through modern-day male narcissism
Jack Passion in "Mansome" American men are bewildered about their place in the cosmos, or so we have been told repeatedly over the last 20 years. They don’t know whether to thread their eyebrows or wield a welding torch, and end up trying to do both at once (which is inadvisable). As comedian Adam Carolla laments in a scene from Morgan Spurlock’s documentary “Mansome,” the old-time certainties of gender identity have melted away: Women are flying fighter jets and men work at the hair salon; there are no longer “chick jobs and guy jobs.”
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