2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
I have a theory about “The Bachelor.” My theory is that, in any given season, the “bachelor” himself could be a turd — I mean a literal turd, a coil of poop in the middle of a Beverly Hills mansion — and the women on that show would still claw each other’s eyes out to get that goddamn final rose. Why didn’t the piece of poop pick me this week? I thought the piece of poop and I had a future together!
“Wow,” said a (male) friend when I told him this theory. “Is all reality television just misogynist?”
Well, no. I don’t think “Project Runway” is misogynist. I don’t think “American Idol” is misogynist (just boring). However, there is a strain of trash reality television — a stripe of shows with which I am painfully familiar — that thrives on the notion that women are, well, batshit crazy. “Rock of Love,” “Real Housewives of NYC,” “The Bad Girls Club.” I’m not proud, but I’ll admit I watch them.
This week, New York magazine asks the question many of us viewers have wondered: Are these women certifiable?
“Never in the history of television have we seen so many crazy women,” the article explains, going on to consult a psychiatrist and comparing the women’s behavior with the DSM-IV definition of “borderline personality.” It’s pretty unscientific, but crazy or not, we can suggest one quality that might describe them all — “bad judgment.”
Sarah Hepola is an editor at Salon.More Sarah Hepola.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.