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2008 Elections

Wednesday, Aug 6, 2008 10:00 AM UTC2008-08-06T10:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

It’s an amazing country

Where else could an Arizona multimillionaire attack a Chicago South Sider as an elitist and hope to make it stick?

It’s a simple, cheerful life but with occasional grim complications that one simply ignores, such as mortality or the ’70s or the demise of the downtown department store. I love my downtown store, a block from the old stone courthouse where Alvin (Creepy) Karpis of the Ma Barker gang was tried for kidnapping in 1936, near a fine old popcorn shop, just down the street from a haberdashery where the other day I got fitted for a seersucker suit and was shown how to tie a bow tie. A great mystery, like the Trinity, suddenly made clear. You don’t get this sort of instruction at a mall.

With a seersucker suit and a bow tie, I am equipped to run for public office on the States’ Rights ticket and stand up for Our Way of Life and let’s support our boys fighting for Unconditional Victory in Korea — that’s what I associate with seersucker, a man perspiring heavily and mopping his brow with Coca-Cola and crying out against the gummint and pointy-heads who interfere with Our Way of Life. A charlatan, in other words. My daily uniform is black T-shirt and jeans, which, if you saw me on the street and didn’t know me, might lead you to believe I speak French and love jazz. Non non non, madame! Je suis un authentique Americain.

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Garrison Keillor is the author of the Lake Wobegon novel "Liberty" (Viking) and the creator and host of the nationally syndicated radio show "A Prairie Home Companion," broadcast on more than 500 public radio stations nationwide. For more columns by Keillor, visit his column archive.  More Garrison Keillor

Monday, Dec 19, 2011 10:10 PM UTC2011-12-19T22:10:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Baseless Condi Rice speculation making a comeback

Updated: To celebrate its return, a brief history of this variety of pundit fantasy writing

Condoleezza Rice

Condoleezza Rice  (Credit: Reuters)

[UPDATED BELOW] Joseph Curl, former White House correspondent for the Washington Times, is bringing me back to the good old days of 2006 in his latest opinion column for the conservative paper. It’s a breathless report that Condoleezza Rice will seek the vice presidency, and it’s a classic of the genre.

Any amateur can speculate that Chris Christie will enter the presidential race, or posit a Mike Bloomberg third-party run, or imagine Hillary Clinton launching a primary challenge against Barack Obama. After all, those three have actually won elections and expressed political ambitions. It takes a real pro to decide to build buzz around someone who not only hasn’t ever run for anything, but who’s never expressed a desire to run for anything.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon. Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene  More Alex Pareene

Monday, Oct 3, 2011 7:25 PM UTC2011-10-03T19:25:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Breitbart shock: Obama was in same place at same time as New Black Panthers

Right-wingers once again try to connect the president to a fringe group of laughable conservative boogeymen

Members of the New Black Panther Party, including, Divine Allah, left, arrive for funeral services for 13-year-old shooting victim, Tamrah Leonard, at the Friendship Baptist Church in Trenton, N.J., Saturday, June 13, 2009.

Members of the New Black Panther Party, including, Divine Allah, left, arrive for funeral services for 13-year-old shooting victim, Tamrah Leonard, at the Friendship Baptist Church in Trenton, N.J., Saturday, June 13, 2009.  (Credit: AP/Mike Derer)

Andrew Breitbart’s loud, dumb BigGovernment site has a loud, dumb story about how Barack Obama “appeared and marched with the New Black Panther Party in 2007.” The occasion was the 42nd anniversary of the march from Selma, Alabama, and in addition to Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Al Sharpton were also there, along with dozens of civil rights era luminaries and thousands of other people because it was a massive annual celebration and not actually an Obama campaign event.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon. Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene  More Alex Pareene

Thursday, Sep 15, 2011 7:55 PM UTC2011-09-15T19:55:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Palins give free publicity to book bashing Palins

Joe McGinniss' "The Rogue" gets a big marketing boost from its subject's classic (and predictable) overreaction

Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin

Here, according to the National Enquirer, are the shocking revelations in Joe McGinniss’ new book about Sarah Palin, “The Rogue”:

  • She has done drugs.
  • She had sex with a basketball player before she married Todd.
  • She is mean and petty.
  • She is a bad mother.
  • She had an affair after she married Todd.

There is also, obviously, some stuff about Trig’s birth, but I have not yet read the book, so I couldn’t tell you how far down the rabbit hole that goes.

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon. Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene  More Alex Pareene

Thursday, Aug 25, 2011 8:15 PM UTC2011-08-25T20:15:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Will “Joe the Plumber” run for Congress?

And if so, how many minutes will it take for him to say something embarrassing to a reporter? Ten?

Will

“Joe the Plumber,” a man named Sam who is not a plumber, may run for Congress. Joe, a briefly famous desperate attempt by the John McCain campaign to paint Barack Obama as an enemy of the working man, is mulling a run against Rep. Marcy Kaptur, D-Ohio, who’s been in the House since 1983. Joe told Yahoo’s “The Ticket” his thoughts on the potential campaign:

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon. Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene  More Alex Pareene

Friday, Aug 19, 2011 9:15 PM UTC2011-08-19T21:15:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Sheriff Joe: Birther?

Arizona's "toughest" lawman tells some kooks that he'll investigate the president's birth certificate

Joe Arpaio

Joe Arpaio

Sheriff Joe Arpaio might be a birther, now. A quasi-birther, at least. WorldNetDaily “broke” the “news” that Arizona’s most civil rights-disregarding lawman “has agreed to examine evidence challenging the validity of Barack Obama’s purported long-form birth certificate in a determination of the president’s eligibility for the 2012 election ballot.” Which certainly sounds like a very good use of the resources of the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, right? There is even a picture of Arpaio with Jerome Corsi, author of “Where’s the Birth Certificate,” a book whose title question was answered twice before publication:

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Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon. Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene  More Alex Pareene

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