Heidi Klum says “auf wiedersehen” to her clothes
The opening to last night's Emmy Awards show didn't offend me as a woman. It offended me as a television viewer!
Last night, I watched the Emmys. As Heather Havrilesky noted in her terrific recap, it was lame. Like, suuuperlame. There were so many annoying and baffling things about the show that it’s hard to pick out just one. However, Broadsheet received this e-mail from a reader, and I wanted to respond — as someone who knows, who cares and who has been there. The e-mail reads:
“Please tell me that you will be addressing the whole Emmy incident of Heidi Klum getting her clothes ripped off. Why, in 2008, is this a) OK and/or b) funny? My boyfriend, god bless him, was dumbfounded. Not in a, ‘Wow Heidi’s hot’ way, but in a ‘Why is it OK that William Shatner just ripped her clothes off?’ way. “
Ooh ooh ooh, I know this one. First, let me tell you how it played out in my apartment: I watched the show with a male friend, who turned to me after Heidi Klum’s clothes were ripped off (a stunt I called the moment Klum showed up onstage in a tux, by the way).
“Does that offend you as a woman?” he asked.
“No,” I said. “That offends me as a television viewer.”
So, now, to your question, piece by piece. “Why, in 2008, is this OK”? Well, it’s not. Next: “Why is it funny?” Well, it’s not. It’s neither OK nor funny. But that doesn’t really get us anywhere. Because what I think you want me to address is: Why did it happen?
That answer is longer. Stay with me.
It happened because, for some desperate reason we don’t understand, ABC asked five reality show hosts to host the Emmys. This is bad thinking. (Kathy Griffin would have killed! But she’s a loose cannon in a politically charged season. Can’t offend anyone!) So someone decided, “Oh, I know: Let’s ask these five loquacious and Emmy-nominated reality-show hosts to open the show, because, let’s face it — a recession is on, and these dudes will work for peanuts and porn.”
Now, one problem: What to do about Heidi Klum? She’s eye candy, but she’s a liability. Because the supermodel host of Bravo’s “Project Runway” is A) not a native English speaker and B) not comfortable working outside her milieu and C) not remotely the salesman/performer that her fellow nominees are. In particular, it was going to be problematic to ask Klum to engage in any patter with her co-hosts at the show’s opening. So someone (and who knows, maybe it was a woman — all I know is, it was someone extra-desperate) came up with the idea that her clothes should be ripped off. And then someone else said, “But get Shatner to come up from the audience and do it!” And Shatner (like Gary Busey) is always a sign that a sketch has gone creatively bankrupt. (I love Shatner, but this is the truth.)
So, my friend, that is why this happened. It was horrible. It was cringe-inducing. And it was sexist, though that’s just the tip of the iceberg. As Havrilesky rightly notes in her recap, the opening intro was possibly “the worst, most painful three or four minutes of self-indulgent, ego-driven delusion ever witnessed on live television. Their babbling winds on, there are no jokes, and it all ends with William Shatner ripping Heidi Klum’s clothes off, which Klum responds to with her usual robotic interpretation of ‘sexy.’ How did these sad humans come up with this mess?”
Thank you, Heather. I was wondering the same thing myself.
Sarah Hepola is an editor at Salon. More Sarah Hepola.
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Did the recession prevent teen motherhood?
Some thank the economy for a decline in teenagers giving birth, but contraception is the likelier savior
Teen births hit a record low last year, according to a CDC report released Tuesday, and the narrative quickly taking hold in the media is that we have the recession to thank. It’s a surprising idea, that teenagers are keeping it in their pants because a baby isn’t a prudent choice in the current economic environment. Foresight isn’t what we expect from those creatures of impulse — and, indeed, when is a baby a practical economic choice for a teen? It also struck me that the teen birth rate isn’t the same as the teen pregnancy rate, if you catch my drift (my drift being … abortion). I took my questions to a couple of experts in hopes of some clarity.
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Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter. More Tracy Clark-Flory.
Olbermann still doesn’t get it
The MSNBC host is back on Twitter with a response to his critics -- but he ignores their key complaint
Update: Olbermann has responded on Twitter by blocking me and tweeting, “Your article embarrasses you and your site.”
Back from his self-imposed Twitter timeout, Keith Olbermann is lashing out at his feminist critics. As Sady Doyle explained last week in Salon, the online protest was started in response to Michael Moore’s mischaracterization of the allegations against Julian Assange. Olbermann became a target after retweeting a link from Bianca Jagger that incorrectly claimed “the term ‘rape’ in Sweden includes consensual sex without a condom,” and that named Assange’s accuser (which is generally a journalistic no-no). Overwhelmed by the Twitter campaign, which was waged with the hashtag “mooreandme,” Olbermann quit the microblogging site in a huff. This afternoon, after a few days of calm reflection, he tweeted a link to his thoughts on the matter:
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Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter. More Tracy Clark-Flory.
Save the children from Hooters?
NOW calls on the breast-obsessed chain to stop serving kids
The National Organization for Women is protesting Hooters. I know: Yawn. Next I’ll be interrupting major sporting events with breaking news that Gloria Steinem isn’t a fan of the “Girls Gone Wild” franchise. But, seriously, the argument at play here is more interesting than it at first seems. It isn’t the breast-obsessed chain’s existence that is being challenged, but rather the fact that Hooters serves children. Clearly, there is abundant evidence that Hooters is guilty of poor taste (see: restaurant name) — but should the chain be forced to card customers at the door and turn away anyone younger than 18? Several California chapters of NOW have filed official complaints alleging just that.
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Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter. More Tracy Clark-Flory.
Why do serial killers target sex workers?
The question is raised after four female bodies are found on a Long Island beach
Authorities search in the brush by the side of the road at Cedar Beach, near Babylon, N.Y., Tuesday, Dec. 14, 2010. Police looking for a missing prostitute on Long Island's Fire Island have discovered three bodies and a set of skeletal remains near Oak Beach since Saturday. Investigators are considering the possibility that a serial killer may have dumped four bodies along the same quarter-mile stretch of beachside road, a police chief said Tuesday. (AP Photo/Seth Wenig)(Credit: AP) As New York confronts the possibility that there’s a serial killer on the loose, many have taken note that this case looks a lot like what we see in the movies: The victims are all women, and at least one is suspected to be a sex worker. When it comes to serial murder, it turns out fiction really does reflect reality. A report was released last month finding that 70 percent of known victims of serial killers are women (consider that only 22 percent of homicide victims in general are female); and it turns out sex workers are 18 times more likely than “normal” women to be murdered. Why might this be? Well, in the words of the Green River Killer, who targeted prostitutes:
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Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter. More Tracy Clark-Flory.
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