WHAT I COULD HAVE SAID

If I would have said a year ago that we were going to
Lose over 50 percent of the value of the stock market,
People would have said I was crazy.
If I would have said when Citibank was, I don’t even know,
Trading at $50 a share, hey, Citibank is going to be under
A dollar in the next year, they would have said I was crazy.
If I would have said we’re going to have a president elected,
And he is going to bring us to the verge of shredding
The Constitution, of massive socialism, and he’ll do it in
The first six weeks in office, I would have been told I was crazy.

But now people still are saying oh come on.

(“Glenn Beck,” Fox News, March 6, 2009)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -

ACCIDENT

You know what, I don’t know when it became un-American
To say, save for a rainy day, or you know
Why don’t you just — why don’t we just
Prepare for the worst and hope for the best
Or make sure you’re wearing clean underpants
In case you’re in an accident
But that’s a different story.

(“Glenn Beck,” Fox News, Feb. 23, 2009)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -

FORGOTTEN MAN

At first, the idea of the Forgotten Man was
The little orphan that was in the middle here and
Everybody forgot that, and government and
The businessman was happy and
Playing the role of government is Jesus because
I think that’s who we have as president now, and so …
What would happen is this guy would be happy and
This guy would be happy, but the little orphan
Was left out, but now the Forgotten Man; help me out on this;
Now the Forgotten Man, Jesus, decides that he
Is going to help out the little orphan person; so …

You, no longer wearing the top hat and no longer happy,
And of course, the little orphan boy now has a crack pipe and
Octomom is back here with her tentacles; OK,
There’s Octomom; Jesus decides to take the money from you
Now, and then he gives it to Octomom.

(“Glenn Beck,” Fox News, March 5, 2009)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -

SUGAR

It’s been a week where I’ve given up all sugar; I’m trying
To lose weight, it’s the war on chins and I haven’t
Had sugar in a week, I get a little nasty and cranky
When I haven’t had sugar; it’s not right, it’s not.
I haven’t lost a pound in a whole week; I haven’t had any sugar.

(“Glenn Beck,” Fox News, March 11, 2009)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -

AMAZED

I’m amazed at the argument that you can’t amend
The Constitution, you can’t change the Constitution;
That what our founders designed. Isn’t this — maybe I’m wrong.

I have never heard of the people’s representative,
The people that — if a guy is supposed to uphold the laws
That the people pass goes to the Supreme Court and says,

I know I’m the chief guy, I’m the attorney general,
I’m the chief guy to uphold the law, and the people said
This is the law, but the people can’t do that.

Has this ever happened before?

(“Glenn Beck,” Fox News, March 5, 2009)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -

TO A LOVER

I want to, I want to say
I want to say to you
That you have been
Unbelievably gracious to me;
And you have no reason to be.

(“Glenn Beck,” Fox News, March 12, 2009)

And I don’t remember what it was.
I don’t remember what it was.
I was going to say it was like chocolate milk
But that would probably be bad to sell for breast cancer.

So it wasn’t definitely milk
But it was something that I didn’t want to drink,
And I don’t remember what it was but I thought, well, I don’t want that
And, you know, and the stewardess said, we do this all the time now
Because our airline cares about breast cancer

And we have really not raised very much money this flight
And we know you guys care about breast cancer,
Bah, blah, blah,
And I wanted to say,

I care about you pulling into the terminal on time
And delivering my luggage all intact.
I care about breast cancer as well
But that’s not really your primary job and
Please don’t lecture me on giving until it hurts.

For the love of Pete.
Because all I kept thinking is, they don’t really care.
Do you really think this giant corporate monolith cares?
They don’t care.

Now, maybe some of the individuals do,
But as a corporation they care?
They’re doing it for good PR.
They want to be the airline that cares.
Am I being too harsh?

Notice nobody’s –
Wow, nobody wants to go
On record with me, huh?
I’m standing all alone.

(“The Glenn Beck Program,” Premiere Radio Networks, Nov. 27, 2007)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - - 

BAT SNOT

You always get hassled; people always go,
O, Bill O’Reilly, he is just a hatchet man
For the Bush administration. The deal is,
I’ve watched your show enough to know
You hammer the bat snot out of both sides.

Bat snot.

(“The O’Reilly Factor,” Fox News, March 6, 2009)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - - 

IMAGINE

Let’s say you are in Saudi Arabia
Where nobody’s ever heard of the Trinity.
You’re a Catholic. Nobody’s ever heard of
The Trinity. What, the Trinity?

What, it’s three in one,
They’re everywhere and nowhere.
Jesus is on the cross
But he’s really God.

So God has died but
Yet he didn’t die
And how does this –
Imagine you’ve never heard this before.

So you’ve never heard
Any kind of explanation.
So it works.
You know what I mean?

(“The Glenn Beck Program,” Premiere Radio Networks, Dec. 7, 2007)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - - 

THE BORDER

You stand up for the border,
You’re a racist.
Are you really a racist?
I’m not a racist.

(“The Glenn Beck Program,”Premiere Radio Networks, Nov. 27, 2007)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - - 

CHALLENGE

I challenge anyone, Republican or Democrat,
To point to the word “charity” in our Constitution;
The government, I’ve never felt charitable,
Never felt charitable on April 15th, have you?

But I have when I have written out a check
Myself and sent it in to the fire department
Or sent it in to Jon’s hospital, or sent it in to my church,
I do feel charitable then; it’s about changing people’s hearts.

And I got to tell you, tax day makes my heart
All black and bigger; maybe it’s just me.
Check out all the nine principles
And the 12 values at GlennBeck.com.

Now, should we legalize marijuana?

(“Glenn Beck,” Fox News, March 2, 2009)

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - - 

Tomorrow : More of Glenn Beck’s best verse, including “Forgotten Man” and “To a Lover.”