2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
The United States Senate is so very old and tired. At a briefing on Tuesday about the attempted Times Square bomber’s supposed links to the Pakistani Taliban, Senate Intelligence Committee ranking Republican Kit Bond fell asleep:
One person who was in the room for Tuesday’s intelligence briefing said Bond appeared to fall asleep for 10 to 15 minutes, but that he and other senators had spirited exchanges with the briefers.
This sounds pretty embarrassing, but Orrin Hatch has an excuse. He was resting his eyes, because the lights in that room are just too bright.
Sen. Orrin Hatch (R., Utah) also weighed in, saying he sat beside Bond during the briefing, and “I can tell you he was awake” Hatch said that sometimes the lights in the room are so bright “you have to rest your eyes for a bit; you get light burn.”
Kit Bond is 71 years old. He’s been in the Senate since 1986. (Thankfully, he is not seeking reelection.) Orrin Hatch, in the Senate since 1977, is 76. (And apparently his eyes have become very sensitive.)
After his nap, a rested Bond worked up the energy to tell reporters that Eric Holder lied to him.
Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at email@example.com and follow him on Twitter @pareeneMore Alex Pareene.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.