2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
President Obama just wrapped up his 10-minute speech announcing the firing of Gen. Stanley McChrystal and his replacement by Centcom commander David Petraeus. Obama began by saying that he and McChrystal “are in full agreement about our strategy” and that his firing was also not about “personal insult.” But “war is bigger than any one man or woman” and McChrystal’s insulting remarks to a Rolling Stone reporter violated the military code of conduct.
Obama said: “This is a change in personnel, but this is not a change in policy.”
That won’t please liberal critics of the war — especially because Petraeus’ commitment to a July 2011 withdrawal date is pretty soft.
One benefit of choosing Petraeus is that he is respected — beloved — by everyone in Washington. The leader of the NATO forces in Afghanistan has to be approved by the Senate. No one could possibly have less trouble getting through the Senate than Petraeus.
And you will get tired of hearing that “he wrote the book on counterinsurgency,” but he did, and that’s the strategy in Afghanistan. (In the south, anyway.)
Why did Petraeus agree? Well, because the president asked him to, I guess. And he is a good soldier. It’s hard to believe that his reputation will be well-served, though, by taking ownership of a probably unwinnable quagmire. It seems he’s not lying when he insists he doesn’t want to be president.
McChrystal released a statement to reporters:
This morning the President accepted my resignation as Commander of U.S. and NATO Coalition Forces in Afghanistan. I strongly support the President’s strategy in Afghanistan and am deeply committed to our coalition forces, our partner nations, and the Afghan people. It was out of respect for this commitment — and a desire to see the mission succeed — that I tendered my resignation.
It has been my privilege and honor to lead our nation’s finest.
(And one small correction to my earlier piece: Dexter Filkins floated Petraeus’ name as a potential McChrystal replacement this morning.)
Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @pareeneMore Alex Pareene.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.