Mel Gibson scandal: Ignoring domestic abuse

Yes, he used a racial epithet -- but let's not forget the main issue here

Topics: Mel Gibson, Violence Against Women, Broadsheet, Love and Sex,

Mel Gibson scandal: Ignoring domestic abuse

According to reports, Mel Gibson has a tendency to say racist things. First, there was the “Jews are responsible for all wars” incident and most recently he told his ex Oksana Grigorieva that if she went outside in a particular outfit he disapproved of she would be “raped by a pack of ni**ers.” What has been overlooked in almost every single report of that incident is why Grigorieva was tape recording Gibson in the first place. She needed proof. Proof that Mel Gibson was abusive to her not only emotionally, but physically. She had already provided dental records in their custody fight to prove that he knocked her teeth out but Grigorieva still felt she needed more evidence to show the court that Gibson is much more than just politically incorrect, he’s dangerous. Why is it that the detail about Gibson knocking Grigorieva’s teeth out was literally a throwaway line at the very end of an article with a splashy headline detailing his latest racist diatribe? Why did it take so long for them to launch a formal investigation into his abuse?

It is clear that the media and the public at large avoid talking about domestic violence. It’s seen as a private matter and is not to be spoken about openly. The problem with that is that this tendency to push it aside and out of our minds is teaching our young people exactly the wrong lesson. Another domestic violence incident that was in the news recently was Chris Brown and Rihanna after their now infamous drive in a Los Angeles suburb the night before the 2009 Grammy Awards. After his emotional performance at the BET Awards, many people declared Chris Brown forgiven. Bygones. He cried and apologized so we must all take it easy on him and just get past the “situation with Rihanna.” Let me be clear: Domestic violence is not a “situation.” We need to call it what it is. We need to point out that the repeating cycle of domestic abuse includes remorse and we should not allow Chris Brown or Mel Gibson or anyone else to simply come back and make a tear-filled apology. We must not be enablers.  Domestic violence is the systematic destruction of another person emotionally, mentally, verbally, financially, socially, physically, and sexually. Domestic violence is the de-humanization of another person that can leave scars lasting a lifetime.

You Might Also Like

This year in the United States, 3 million women will be abused.  This statistic is staggering and proves that we need to teach our young people how to properly handle conflict in their romantic relationships and that starts with how it is discussed. We must teach them that a women or man who yells or curses out their partner does not ever deserve to be hit.  Ever. No, not even if they are hit first.  No, not even if they cheat on them.  Everyone should be responsible for their own actions and reactions. That is the lesson we should begin to teach our young people and stop trying to justify the actions of the abusive by blaming the abused. Victim blaming, while commonplace in our society, should no longer be acceptable. It sends the wrong message. It is dangerous to young people because it takes the heat off of the person who is actually committing the violence. Simply put, the blame for abuse should be placed squarely at the feet of the person choosing to be abusive. We should no longer allow people to imply that it is acceptable to abuse someone if they “deserve” it.

No one deserves it. Period.

Domestic violence is a cycle of abuse that is primarily about power and control and whether it is done by men or women in a relationship it is our responsibility to call it what it is. The lives of our young people depend on it.

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • 1 of 8
  • Close
  • Fullscreen
  • Thumbnails
    Sonic

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Sonic's Bacon Double Cheddar Croissant Dog

    Sonic calls this a "gourmet twist" on a classic. I am not so, so fancy, but I know that sprinkling bacon and cheddar cheese onto a tube of pork is not gourmet, even if you have made a bun out of something that is theoretically French.

    Krispy Kreme

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Krispy Kreme's Doughnut Dog

    This stupid thing is a hotdog in a glazed doughnut bun, topped with bacon and raspberry jelly. It is only available at Delaware's Frawley Stadium, thank god.

    KFC

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    KFC's Double Down Dog

    This creation is notable for its fried chicken bun and ability to hastily kill your dreams.

    Pizza Hut

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Pizza Hut's Hot Dog Bites Pizza

    Pizza Hut basically just glued pigs-in-blankets to the crust of its normal pizza. This actually sounds good, and I blame America for brainwashing me into feeling that.

    Carl's Jr.

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Carl's Jr. Most American Thick Burger

    This is a burger stuffed with potato chips and hot dogs. Choose a meat, America! How hard is it to just choose a meat?!

    Tokyo Dog

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Tokyo Dog's Juuni Ban

    A food truck in Seattle called Tokyo Dog created this thing, which is notable for its distinction as the Guinness Book of World Records' most expensive hot dog at $169. It is a smoked cheese bratwurst, covered in butter Teriyaki grilled onions, Maitake mushrooms, Wagyu beef, foie gras, black truffles, caviar and Japanese mayo in a brioche bun. Just calm down, Tokyo Dog. Calm down.

    Interscope

    7 ways Americans have defiled the hot dog

    Limp Bizkit's "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water"

    This album art should be illegal.

  • Recent Slide Shows

Comments

0 Comments

Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username ( settings | log out )

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>