2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
On the one hand, the Chris Matthews “do you think the president was born in America” gotcha is a transparent attempt to create false news-like product by getting conservative politicians to say something silly. On the other hand, it is kind of shocking how few of them are willing to simply say that the president was born in America.
So John Boehner was on “Meet the Press,” and David Gregory pulled the old “will you yell at the birthers” card, and John Boehner would not yell at the birthers.
MR. GREGORY: As the speaker of the House, as a leader, do you not think it’s your responsibility to stand up to that kind of ignorance?
SPEAKER BOEHNER: David, it’s not my job to tell the American people what to think. Our job in Washington is to listen to the American people. Having said that, the state of Hawaii has said that he was born there. That’s good enough for me. The president says he’s a Christian. I accept him at his word.
“I believe the president is a citizen,” Boehner said. But he won’t go around trying to convince anyone else of that fact: “Listen, the American people have the right to think what they want to think. I can’t — it’s not my job to tell them.”
He’s right! The American people have the right to think what they want to think. They are free to think that John Boehner is less a sentient human than a sort of orange conduit through which lobbyist money flows.
Of course, John Boehner, as a prominent national politician, devotes the majority of his public appearances to telling the American people what he would like them to think, because that’s how politicians convince people to vote for them — like, he tells everyone to think that Republicans are better than Democrats — but I guess he suddenly realized the futility of the whole enterprise and he’ll never do that again. He has too much respect for the American people to tell them what they should think about the president’s budget, or the healthcare reform law. From now on, John Boehner will just keep his opinions to himself.
“Serious” Republicans don’t want to be held responsible for birtherism but they refuse to do anything to combat it. The speaker of the House refuses to definitively call the president an American because he resents having some liberal ask him about it. But a lot of Republican voters and Fox viewers basically take it for granted that the president was secretly born in Kenya, because all the elites they actually listen to just wink and evade the question when they’re asked.
Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at email@example.com and follow him on Twitter @pareeneMore Alex Pareene.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.