2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Oft-bankrupt former fake presidential candidate and television clown Donald Trump announced on “Fox and Friends” this morning that he is very close to announcing his presidential endorsement. I am guessing he won’t pick Jon Huntsman.
Trump still has a regular Monday morning “Fox & Friends” call-in deal? I guess Fox can overlook a regular guest being a loyal employee of a rival media conglomerate — Trump abandoned his publicity stunt presidential campaign when NBC threatened to find a new “Apprentice” host, remember — as long as they’re willing to spout birtherist bullshit on live television.
So Trump, who badly damaged his “lovable mogul” brand with his divisive and humiliating fake campaign, will now (or in a month or so) parasitically attach himself to a presidential candidate, in order to flatter Trump’s sense of himself as an important kingmaker, a delusion that has been enabled by Romney and Perry and Bachmann and Cain actually meeting with him. I’m guessing Trump will endorse whomever is polling best next month.
Will the press (the non-Fox press) mention Trump’s noxious, racist birtherism, should the recipient of the Trump endorsement gratefully accept the Trump nod with a joint appearance? I am not holding my breath.
Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @pareeneMore Alex Pareene.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.