Out of Touch

The Times piece cites the recent birth of Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s first child, and subsequent flare-up over accusations that expensive security measures significantly disrupted routines in the maternity ward of New York’s Lenox Hill Hospital, as an example of the ill will these luxury services can engender in less-privileged patients. Add this to a Times piece last month on a company that helps hospital fundraisers “take advantage of the captive audience” by “sending hospital admissions lists to the development office for a wealth screening within hours of when the patients are admitted” and it’s easy to see that the ties between big money and big medicine are stronger than ever.

It’s hardly surprising that people who can afford full-frills service decide to book expensive, private hospital rooms instead of slumming it in crowded general-care areas — and it may indeed be that, as a health facilities consultant suggests to the Times, their business has some “trickle-down effect.” But building gated communities within hospitals seems a dangerous road to go down, at a time when so many struggle to afford even basic levels of care. These opulent amenities and services available to the 1 percent — from waterfalls and private libraries to mushroom risotto and lobster tails — aren’t just out of touch during a recession. That our hospitals are using resources to turn themselves into the Ritz-Carlton while the less fortunate are one bad break away from bankruptcy is just plain wrong.

Walters’ celebs may “fascinate” in the sense that they continually hijack our attention — crowding magazine covers, newspaper headlines and TV screens. But in a year of profound social and economic turmoil — for individuals and whole continents alike — are they really the sort of cultural idols we need to pretend are interesting?

This year has seen some of the most spirited revolutions and impassioned public protests of the new millennium. Citizens in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya and Syria have given their lives to change those of their countrymen. The remarkable movement that began as a camp-out in New York City’s Zuccotti Park has inspired deep soul-searching in America and further protests worldwide. Stories of individual perseverance — like Rep. Gabby Giffords’, D-Ariz., efforts to recover from a horrific assassination attempt — have inspired us. Not to mention that we’ve witnessed stunning successes in film, music, television and literature (Walters nods to this with her nomination of “Modern Family’s” Eric Stonestreet and Jesse Tyler Ferguson). Where are the movers and shakers behind all of these truly fascinating political, social and cultural developments? Their accomplishments are miles more relevant than those of affluent reality TV stars or British socialites.

Of course, it’s not unusual for Walters to favor pop-culture mojo in her year-end specials; last year, the cast of “Jersey Shore” joined overall winner David Petraeus. An ABC press release says the 2011 list seeks to “[highlight] some of the year’s most prominent names in entertainment, sports and popular culture” — which it certainly does, especially if you gauge prominence by mentions in Us Weekly. But to sum up a year of spectacular social unrest and heady history-making by trotting out the Kardashians one more time is more than unimaginative: It’s out of touch.

In any case, it’s not exactly a “red carpet,” in the traditional sense. It’s barely even long enough! No one stops to preen or pose, and it doesn’t start or finish at any useful location. It takes you roughly three steps closer to your destination than you were before. A red carpet leading directly to the plane — now, that would be something to see.

You rarely catch priority customers openly enjoying their red-carpet experience. Businessmen and other small-time dignitaries hurry across this area awkwardly, rushing to scan their boarding passes. Regular Joes lucky enough to have scored an upgrade are downright apologetic, keeping their eyes down as if to tell their fellow travelers, “I’m not one of those people.” Underneath this veneer, they may be enjoying their star turn; it would still betray a certain insensitivity to show it.

However absurd this tiny stretch of fabric might be, once it stands before you, it’s hard not to find its presence grating — no matter which side of the little rope barrier you’re on. Economy travelers, waiting with mounting impatience for their rows to be called, look on with barely concealed hostility as unencumbered passengers swan past the final checkpoint; red-carpet regulars glance furtively around or avoid eye contact completely, their willingness to shell out the big bucks for a plane ticket betrayed by their physical position in relation to an otherwise undistinguished piece of plush. The class divide — or at least, a perceived one — is brought rudely to the fore, and it’s hard to imagine that the whole experience doesn’t make everyone just a little bit uncomfortable.

If you’re traveling by plane this holiday weekend, it’s highly likely you’ll encounter a red carpet or two yourself. Perhaps you’ll actually be walking across it; perhaps you’ll merely be an observer. Either way, take a look around and consider the bizarre effect it has. It succeeds in sorting people by the price tag of their tickets but fails in almost every other sense; one glance at the passengers in its vicinity should be enough to note it’s less a luxurious bonus than a harbinger of mutual discomfort.

According to ABC News, Kelly Rowland has purchased a mini version of the “Diamond Bathtub” — designed specifically for babies — as a gift for Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s expected baby daughter. “Your baby bathtub will be a lasting memory to keep forever!” Gardner’s website raves. If nothing else, at $5,200, it seems like a rock-solid early investment.

Did someone buy Beyoncé’s baby a matching rubber duckie? Seen something else that’s Out of Touch? Send us a tip: outoftouch@salon.com.

$15,000-$20,000: Estimated value of Kim & Kris’s wedding cake. [New York Post]

$400,000: Total value of the champagne served at the wedding. [New York Post]

$2 million: Value of the wedding’s floral arrangements. [Styleite]

Nearly $3 million: Amount Kim & Kris received from People magazine for wedding- and engagement-related rights. [New York Post]

5 million: Number of people said to have watched E!’s four-hour wedding special. [THR]

$15 million+: Amount Kardashians were paid by E! for rights to air the wedding special. [New York Post]

$17.9 million: Total amount of money Kim & Kris are thought to have made from the wedding and related publicity. [The Week]

Nearly 1,000: Number of sources covering the story of Kim & Kris’s divorce late Monday afternoon, according to Google News.

87 days: Length of Kim & Kris’s engagement.

72 days: Amount of time between the wedding and Kim’s divorce filing.