2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Proof of the latter mixture’s toxicity came last week, when Jones, the gravelly voiced Internet personality best known for his obsession with “truther” theories about the government’s supposed complicity in 9/11, interviewed Farah, the mustachioed overlord of all things “birther,” on his radio show.
For the most part, the two conspiracists’ conversation went pretty much as you would expect: chitchat about a supposed plan to disarm all Americans; furious denunciations of the Supreme Court’s recent decision to uphold the Affordable Care Act; speculation that the government would soon declare that “mom and apple pie and George Washington are terrorists.”
Then Farah dropped a bomb.
“By the way Alex, remember when you were in my office in Virginia, one of my crew asked if you’d ever seen a drone, and you answered no you hadn’t,” he said. “I get home and within a week or two of that conversation, I’m taking my dog for a walk, and guess what I see right over the tree line? Right above my head is a drone.”
The “confirmation,” Farah said, came from online images of drones that “resemble what I saw.”
Farah, who lives in a Virginia suburb about 20 miles outside of the nation’s capital, could think of only one reason why a drone (if that is really what he saw) would be monitoring the area.
“There could only be one thing that this drone was spying on, and that would be me,” he said. “That would be my property.”
Jones lapped it up. “It was obviously looking for something on your property, probably harassment,” he fumed. “You have to ask the police, I mean, if that scenario happened, and like a Simpsons episode, and a giant green lizard was at the podium, would you submit to them? This is an outside globalist takeover.”
Jones and Farah seem to be reacting to recent reports that the government has permitted limited use of unmanned drones in civilian airspace. Last June, an antigovernment “sovereign citizen,” whose family had chased police off their North Dakota farm with high-powered rifles, became the first American citizen to be arrested with the aid of such a device. The government reportedly plans to expand the use of drones within the next few years, an idea that unsettles civil liberties watchdogs on both the left and right – and leaves antigovernment activists like Farah and Jones giddily unhinged.
“This is a game of control for them,” Farah told Jones. “We have to resist all attempts to control us, whether they’re telling us our kids have to have these mandatory vaccines, or they tell us in order to get on an airplane you’ve got to be groped. This is where the resistance starts, because this is part of conditioning for what is really the endgame for them, which is, you know, we’re all going to be global citizens, we don’t have any say in our government and so forth. It’s everything our Founding Fathers fought against, and we’ve got to be like our Founding Fathers all over again, and the only question in my mind is whether we have the fearlessness, and the courage and the conviction that they had to do that.”
He continued, “If [Obama is] re-elected, it’s gonna be war. We will be at war. We will be hunted down like dogs, Alex Jones, just keep that in mind. That’s what the stakes are.”
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.
Salon is proud to feature content from The Southern Poverty Law Center, a nonprofit civil rights organization dedicated to fighting hate and bigotry, and to seeking justice for the most vulnerable members of society.