2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Smirking hack and Weekly Standard editor William Kristol is wrong about nearly everything, but he has been right about two things: that John McCain would select Sarah Palin as his running mate, and that Mitt Romney would select Paul Ryan as his running mate. Naturally this has made him insufferable:
Kristol doesn’t agree with the negative assessments of Iraq or Palin and dismisses the notion that his previous hits and misses have any bearing on Ryan’s future.
“That argument is almost as silly as someone saying that in the 80s I was a supporter of Reagan’s foreign policy, which won the Cold War, and his tax cuts, which led to economic growth; in the 90s I supported intervention in the Balkans and welfare reform, both of which worked; and in the last decade I opposed Harriet Miers, whose withdrawal paved the way for a terrific justice, Sam Alito; and I supported the surge in Iraq, which worked — and, therefore, I’m some sort of prophet!,” he told POLITICO.
“I guess what I’d say is that, I think, on the whole, my batting average isn’t bad,” he said.
Of course while he was right about the fact of the selection of Sarah Palin, he was wrong — quite disastrously wrong — about whether or not the Palin selection was a good decision. (Oh, and Iraq! Again, Mr. Kristol was correct in predicting that the United States would have a war there. The rest of his predictions did not really turn out so well.)
Kristol was right about these specific two things in part because those two presidential candidates listened to his advice, and they did so because they both misunderstood Bill Kristol’s job. They believed his job is to help the Republican party to win elections, like Karl Rove. (In 2008, Rove pushed McCain to pick Romney.) In fact his job is to push the Republican Party to embrace his preferred policies. His major priority is obviously neoconservative foreign policy (war everywhere forever, especially against Iran), but he also supports Ryan-style regressive changes to the tax code that he justifies with the supply-side economics his dad championed.
So Kristol can be made to be correct in his positions when candidates and politicians are dumb enough to listen to him, apparently. (When he is predicting things about non-Republicans, he is still always wrong.) But as we have all repeatedly learned, what Bill Kristol thinks is good for America and the Republican Party is invariably toxic for both.
Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @pareeneMore Alex Pareene.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.