“Fifty Shades of Chicken”: The BDSM recipe cookbook

Possibly the most disturbing "Fifty Shades of Grey" parody out there

Topics: 50 shades of chicken, el james, chicken, Cooking, 50 Shades of Grey, BDSM, cookbooks, , ,

"Fifty Shades of Chicken": The BDSM recipe cookbook (Credit: copyright © 2012 by John von Pamer)

The book that spawned “mommy porn” has now given a new meaning to playing with your food. “Fifty Shades of Chicken” is a “Fifty Shades of Grey” cookbook featuring kinky recipes for America’s favorite fowl.

You’ll never look at chickens the same way again:

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    50 shades of chicken

    "Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook" by FL Fowler

    50 shades of chicken

    Learning to truss you

    "Do you have any idea what I'm about to do to you?" "No," I breathe. "No, what?" he asks menacingly. "No, Chef." He ties my ankles together tightly. The twine is tight but not so that it bites into my skin. I feel restrained but strangely free. An electric charge thrills dangerously up my spine.

    50 shades of chicken

    Hot Rubbed Hen

    "You really can't keep buying me things." I'm looking furiously at yet another spice he's purchased. "I like you in fine things," he replies. "I have the means. Besides, there's a recipe--" "To hell with the recipes!" I interrupt, fuming. I can't keep up with him. Every night it's some hot new preparation. And this one looks downright fiery.

    50 shades of chicken

    Hashing it out the morning after

    "Do we always have to use a condiment?...Don't you ever want to just taste me au naturel?" "All right, Miss Hen," he sighs with resignation. "This morning the condiment is optional. You don't need it anyway." He adds, "Even if the other ingredient could use it." "You're pairing me?" I ask suspiciously. "Yeah, baby." He quirks his lips into a crooked smile. "Taters."

    50 shades of chicken

    "You're a sadist?" "I'm a foodie." His eyes burn with dark craving. "What does that mean?" I ask. "It means I want you to willingly surrender yourself to my recipes."

    50 shades of chicken

    Sticky Fingers

    How can I resist those deft hands? That godlike mouth and tongue? If the brown sugar doesn't sway me, the bourbon will. Why does it smell so good? He palms my breast, his fingertips just brushing the sensitive tip. "You fit my hand perfectly, Miss Hen," he murmurs. "Just like a young bird should." No, I won't let anything come between me and my Shifty Blades. Wild foxes couldn't drag me away.

    50 shades of chicken

    Erect Chicken

    "The vertical roaster?" "It holds you up while I cook you. Do you want me to show you?" "Yes. I'd like a home demonstration."

    50 shades of chicken

    Happy Ending Chicken

    Sometimes a girl just likes to be treated like a chicken.

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Reprinted from the book Fifty Shades of Chicken.  Copyright © 2012 by FL Fowler.  Photographs copyright © 2012 by John von Pamer.  Published by Clarkson Potter, a division of Random House, Inc.

Prachi Gupta
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at pgupta@salon.com.

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