2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Much as in real life, a cat’s killer instincts bested its foes: A robot, diamond ring, helicopter and guitar all lost out to their feline competition in a contest to be the next Monopoly game piece.
Fans from more than 120 countries voted on which of the eight tokens to add and which one to toss, with the cat coming out on top. Sadly, the iron came in last place and is now being retired. Goodbye, iron!
“Tokens are always a key part of the Monopoly game… and our fans are very passionate about their tokens, about which token they use while they play,” Jonathan Berkowitz, vice president for Hasbro gaming marketing, told the New York Daily News.
The cat will be joining the racecar, Scottie dog, a shoe, thimble, top hat, wheelbarrow and battleship as the newest game piece to pass “Go.”
The best part? Now players can kill downtime between turns (Monopoly is a slow game, am I right?) by doing cute stuff like putting the top hat on the cat or maybe pretending the cat and Scottie dog are chasing each other around the board! Or perhaps commander kitty could send the battleship to war against a rebel sect of those bouncy cat toys that look like fishing poles?
Really, this is great news all around. Congratulations, tiny cat! And to all real life cats: Today is your day. Hold your cat heads high!
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.