Thanks for nothing, Charles Darwin

What does evolution have to say about the blobfish? SLIDE SHOW

Topics: slideshow, Evolution, ,

Thanks for nothing, Charles Darwin (Credit: WTF, Evolution?)

Evolution: It’s the best. I personally love walking upright, and being a human person instead of an ape. Really, it’s great. And we should definitely teach it in schools. For sure, 100 percent.

But there are some animals that didn’t get Charles Darwin’s memo, maybe? They may have been hidden from view for years, but thanks to a newly viral Tumblr, we can marvel over them — their facial genitalia, inexplicable sliminess and other nightmare-inducing qualities — together.

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    Thanks for nothing, Darwin (slideshow)

    Oh, this is a star-nosed mole, you say? That's weird, because I don't think our night sky is illuminated by terrifying clusters of chewed-up worms. But then again, I'm no scientist.

    Credit: WTF, Evolution?

    Thanks for nothing, Darwin (slideshow)

    So the blob fish is a little bit like Mr. Happy's "faces of meth" mug shot, no?

    Credit: WTF, Evolution?

    Thanks for nothing, Darwin (slideshow)

    Look, this baboon butt is gross, OK? But can we also agree that it looks like it would be really comfortable to sit on? Like, I would buy one of those for a long plane ride.

    Credit: WTF, Evolution?

    Thanks for nothing, Darwin (slideshow)

    Oh, cool! Voldemort monkeys! Who knew Charles Darwin was such a Harry Potter buff?

    Credit: WTF, Evolution?

    Thanks for nothing, Darwin (slideshow)

    Pelican or urinal? You be the judge.

    Credit: WTF, Evolution?

    Thanks for nothing, Darwin (slideshow)

    This is called the purple pig-nose frog, but I think a more suitable title would be "gross slimey mole-nosed frog that you should never, ever touch and will definitely give you nightmares."

    Credit: WTF, Evolution?

    Thanks for nothing, Darwin (slideshow)

    Exotic bird or Pan's Labyrinth knock-off? (Fauno!!!)

    Credit: WTF, Evolution?

    Thanks for nothing, Darwin (slideshow)

    And welcome to the NSFW portion of our tour through nature. Here is a phallic paradox for you, dear readers. These are burrowing clams. Remember that next time you make a joke about an all-female get-together.

    Credit: WTF, Evolution?

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Katie McDonough is Salon's politics writer, focusing on gender, sexuality and reproductive justice. Follow her on Twitter @kmcdonovgh or email her at kmcdonough@salon.com.

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