2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Sometimes Fox News is like Christmas, conveying an endless array of gifts. And as such, it would be ungracious to ignore its many pearls of wisdom, like this latest gem, in which four people discuss a piece of Colorado legislation that would ban concealed weapons on college campuses in an effort to prevent sexual assault:
Greg Gutfield throws down the gauntlet thusly: “It’s the rapist who should be crapping — not victim. And that means being armed.”
Then, pondering the crapping of rapists, Dana Perino says (I’m paraphrasing here): Uh, I don’t know. Maybe but I don’t know! What do I know? I don’t know anything!
Next, Bob Beckel wakes up from his grandpa sleep and things get really lively.
He mumbles, “When was the last time you heard about a rape on campus?
The hosts share a rare moment of united lucidity, informing Beckel that sexual assault on college campuses is rampant, using date rape to make their point.
Beckel responds, ”Date rape? What are you going to do? Take a gun out and shoot your date!”
Just to wrap up: Arming women (and men) against potential rapists and in situations of domestic violence often has the reverse effect of making an already violent situation even more dangerous.
It’s a bad idea, so let’s not do that, hosts of Fox News’ “The Five.”
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.