How to talk about a woman’s looks
The president of the United States fails the test -- again
By Irin CarmonTopics: kamala harris, women, Barack Obama, Michael Bloomberg, Sexism, Editor's Picks, Joe Biden, sexual harrassment, Attorney General, California Attorney General, California, News, Politics News
There were, perhaps, stupider things said recently than “How did it become so difficult to call a woman good-looking in public?” but I didn’t happen to hear them. So congratulations, Dylan Byers of Politico. Your commentary on the president calling California Attorney General Kamala Harris “by far, the best looking attorney general” made my brain hurt.
It is not “difficult to call a woman good-looking in public,” not in a world where women’s looks are considered public property, to be commented on, uninvited, whether it’s on the street, in a job interview, or in the press. Many people find it quite easy to do, many of them men, and many people who should know better, like Barack Obama.
This is hardly the first time Obama has been smarmily sexist under the guise of paying a compliment. In the same New York magazine story on Christine Quinn in which Mayor Michael Bloomberg was notoriously quoted saying, “Look at the ass on her,” Obama got a pass for a more politely phrased brand of creepiness. According to the piece, Obama said to a Republican legislator, 32-year-old Nicole Malliotakis, that she didn’t look a day over 23. Quinn promptly joked that Malliotakis should become a Democrat, and the president chimed in, “Come on, honey! I said you’re pretty! I said you look 23!”
Yes, women who seem young and are considered pretty by men obtain certain advantages in our society. That doesn’t mean that the purportedly progressive president of the United States needs to do his part to enforce all that. (Don’t get me started on “honey,” or “sweetie.” No, I can’t take a fucking compliment.) Yes, people notice and appreciate attractiveness in men and women, which is not incompatible with being smart or successful. But women, above all, are subject to a can’t-win calculus in which the desires of men, rather than their objective qualifications, determine how they’re treated — for better or worse. It applies wherever women exist in public, even when looks are entirely irrelevant to the issue at hand.
Almost as obnoxious as the men talking about how put-upon they are by p.c. harpies who aren’t interested in the unsolicited feedback — positive or negative — were the supposed liberals talking about how we should all just chill out. This was the position of the Washington Post’s Jonathan Capehart, who pointed out that Obama and Harris are friends, that this wasn’t tantamount to “luridly cat-calling a woman he doesn’t know,” and who finished up with an exhortation to “lighten up, people.” (Pissed-off people love to be told to lighten up.)
It’s also not enough to ask whether Obama would say the same thing about a man, or point out that he occasionally has or that others do. There is simply no comparison between how women’s looks and men’s looks count toward how society values them as humans. For every shirtless shot of Obama, there are probably 500,000 think pieces about the relative elasticity of Hillary Clinton’s skin. If this concept is hard for you to grasp, turn on your television to any news program and ask yourself if a woman who looked like [broadcaster who is not Anderson Cooper] would have the same career.
And if, after all this, you have trouble with understanding what context is appropriate for a discussion of someone’s attractiveness, let’s break it down by borrowing a term from discrimination law — BFOQ, which stands for bona fide occupational qualifications. Basically, it says that employers are allowed to discriminate only if the qualities in question are actually necessary and relevant to doing the job — so yes, female models to advertise women’s clothing, but no weight requirements for female flight attendants. Applying the BFOQ test for talking about women’s physical attributes, you might ask yourself the following questions: Are you having sex with this person you want to tell everyone is attractive? Are you trying to get them to agree to have sex with you? Is attractiveness part of their job and thus a professional attribute to be discussed like any other? Are you, perhaps, the cheek-pinching great-uncle of this person and thus entitled to a little slack? (Joe Biden has gotten away with lots, apparently under that unspoken provision.)
So far as I know, Obama can’t answer affirmatively to any of these questions when it comes to Kamala Harris. Fail.
Irin Carmon is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @irincarmon or email her at icarmon@salon.com. More Irin Carmon.
You Might Also Like
More Related Stories
-
Egyptian unrest squeezes Gaza
-
Female astronauts wear bras, says an astronaut
-
Bizarre gay pride photobomb makes it to front page of local paper
-
LeVar Burton explains how not to be killed by police
-
Meet the Wendy Davis truthers
-
Five states see new antiabortion laws go into effect
-
Egyptian protesters gather before military deadline
-
Gay and lesbian couples flock to California courts to wed
-
Justices Antonin Scalia and Elena Kagan hunt together
-
Edward Snowden has nowhere to go
-
Six amazing signs from the "Stand with Texas Women" rally
-
Edward Snowden releases statement from Moscow
-
X-ray vision, coming soon
-
Dark money group lies to IRS about being dark money group
-
Report: Computer user believed to be Adam Lanza discovered
-
Hey, GOP: Mexican immigrants aren't necessarily Democrats
-
Best of the worst: Right-wing tweets on the Texas abortion battle
-
Texas Senate meets, promptly votes to recess until July 9
-
Erick Erickson, Internet comedian, jokes about reproductive rights
-
Bodies of Arizona firefighters recovered
-
Report: Snowden asks for political asylum in Russia
Featured Slide Shows
7 motorist-friendly camping sites
close X- Share on Twitter
- Share on Facebook
- Thumbnails
- Fullscreen
- 1 of 9
- Previous
- Next
Sponsored Post
-
White River National Forest via Lower Crystal Lake, Colorado For those OK with the mainstream, White River Forest welcomes more than 10 million visitors a year, making it the most-visited recreation forest in the nation. But don’t hate it for being beautiful; it’s got substance, too. The forest boasts 8 wilderness areas, 2,500 miles of trail, 1,900 miles of winding service system roads, and 12 ski resorts (should your snow shredders fit the trunk space). If ice isn’t your thing: take the tire-friendly Flat Tops Trail Scenic Byway — 82 miles connecting the towns of Meeker and Yampa, half of which is unpaved for you road rebels. fs.usda.gov/whiteriveryou
Image credit: Getty
-
Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest via Noontootla Creek, GeorgiaBoasting 10 wildernesses, 430 miles of trail and 1,367 miles of trout-filled stream, this Georgia forest is hailed as a camper’s paradise. Try driving the Ridge and Valley Scenic Byway, which saw Civil War battles fought. If the tall peaks make your engine tremble, opt for the relatively flat Oconee National Forest, which offers smaller hills and an easy trail to the ghost town of Scull Shoals. Scaredy-cats can opt for John’s Mountain Overlook, which leads to twin waterfalls for the sensitive sightseer in you. fs.usda.gov/conf
Image credit: flickr/chattoconeenf
-
Nordhouse Dunes Wilderness Area via Green Road, Michigan The only national forest in Lower Michigan, the Huron-Mainstee spans nearly 1 million acres of public land. Outside the requisite lush habitat for fish and wildlife on display, the Nordhouse Dunes Wilderness Area is among the biggest hooks for visitors: offering beach camping with shores pounded by big, cerulean surf. Splash in some rum and you just might think you were in the Caribbean. fs.usda.gov/hmnf
Image credit: umich.edu
-
Canaan Mountain via Backcountry Canaan Loop Road, West Virginia A favorite hailed by outdoorsman and author Johnny Molloy as some of the best high-country car camping sites anywhere in the country, you don’t have to go far to get away. Travel 20 miles west of Dolly Sods (among the busiest in the East) to find the Canaan Backcountry (for more quiet and peace). Those willing to leave the car for a bit and foot it would be remiss to neglect day-hiking the White Rim Rocks, Table Rock Overlook, or the rim at Blackwater River Gorge. fs.usda.gov/mnf
Image credit: Getty
-
Mt. Rogers NRA via Hurricane Creek Road, North CarolinaMost know it as the highest country they’ll see from North Carolina to New Hampshire. What they may not know? Car campers can get the same grand experience for less hassle. Drop the 50-pound backpacks and take the highway to the high country by stopping anywhere on the twisting (hence the name) Hurricane Road for access to a 15-mile loop that boasts the best of the grassy balds. It’s the road less travelled, and the high one, at that. fs.usda.gov/gwj
Image credit: wikipedia.org
-
Long Key State Park via the Overseas Highway, Florida Hiking can get old; sometimes you’d rather paddle. For a weekend getaway of the coastal variety and quieter version of the Florida Keys that’s no less luxe, stick your head in the sand (and ocean, if snorkeling’s your thing) at any of Long Key’s 60 sites. Canoes and kayaks are aplenty, as are the hot showers and electric power source amenities. Think of it as the getaway from the typical getaway. floridastateparks.org/longkey/default.cfm
Image credit: floridastateparks.org
-
Grand Canyon National Park via Crazy Jug Point, Arizona You didn’t think we’d neglect one of the world’s most famous national parks, did you? Nor would we dare lead you astray with one of the busiest parts of the park. With the Colorado River still within view of this cliff-edge site, Crazy Jug is a carside camper’s refuge from the troops of tourists. Find easy access to the Bill Hall Trail less than a mile from camp, and descend to get a peek at the volcanic Mt. Trumbull. (Fear not: It’s about as active as your typical lazy Sunday in front of the tube, if not more peaceful.) fs.usda.gov/kaibab
Image credit: flickr/Irish Typepad
-
As the go-to (weekend) getaway car for fiscally conscious field trips with friends, the 2013 MINI Convertible is your campground racer of choice, allowing you and up to three of your co-pilots to take in all the beauty of nature high and low. And with a fuel efficiency that won’t leave you in the latter, you won’t have to worry about being left stranded (or awkwardly asking to go halfsies on gas expenses).
Image credit: miniusa.com
-
Recent Slide Shows
-
7 motorist-friendly camping sites
-
Gripping photos: The people of the Turkey protests (slideshow)
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Photos: Turmoil and tear gas in Instanbul's Gezi Park - Slideshow
-
- Share on Twitter
- Share on Facebook
- Thumbnails
- Fullscreen
- 1 of 9
- Previous
- Next
-
The week in 10 pics
-
10 summer food festivals worth the pit stop
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
9 amazing drive-in movie theaters still standing
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Netflix's April Fools' Day categories
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
Related Videos
Most Read
-
We must hate our children Joan Walsh
-
NSA reportedly has secret data collection agreement with several European countries Prachi Gupta
-
The best of Tumblr porn Tracy Clark-Flory
-
James Clapper is still lying to America David Sirota
-
Thanks for nothing, college! Tim Donovan
-
Before Edward Snowden: "Sexual deviates" and the NSA Rick Anderson
-
You are how you sneeze Ryan O'Hanlon, Pacific Standard
-
SCOTUS: No right to remain silent unless you speak up Christopher Zara, International Business Times
-
The smearing of Rachel Jeantel Mary Elizabeth Williams
-
Texas Senate meets, promptly votes to recess until July 9 Katie Mcdonough
Popular on Reddit
links from salon.com
From Around the Web
Presented by Scribol
-
Helicopter with Swedish tourists makes emergency landing in Hudson River
-
France's far-right political leader Marie Le Pen loses MEP immunity
-
Siberia helicopter crash kills 19
-
Kabul: Taliban attack on NATO contractor compound kills at least eight
-
Ricardo Reyes Zamudio, Mexican mayoral candidate, killed by gunmen










Comments
237 Comments