2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
As media outlets continue to monitor the Boston Marathon bombing case around the clock for updates, a few
gossip sites news outlets jumped the gun, making up news to report before real news actually happened.
After officials discovered a video from Lord & Taylor with an image of a suspect, conflicting reports emerged on the status of the case. This afternoon, the AP and CNN misreported that a suspect had been arrested in the Boston explosion case, with CNN even citing the person in custody as a “dark-skinned male” while CBS said Boston police were searching for a white male. NBC and CBS said no arrests had been made and CNN and the AP later backtracked on the arrest claims, saying federal sources deny that a suspect is in custody.
Twitter had a field day:
Once again instead of breaking news, news becomes the news.— Andrew Kaczynski (@BuzzFeedAndrew) April 17, 2013
Assuming that the suspect CNN thought was in custody was birthed on beach by a ginger sorceress and has since dissolved into thin air.— Alyssa Rosenberg (@AlyssaRosenberg) April 17, 2013
To sum up, an arrest has been made and not made in the Boston bombing, depending which channel you currently have on.— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) April 17, 2013
And yes, Twitter, this afternoon is indeed why my avatar is a facepalm.— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) April 17, 2013
reports suggest the bomber keeps teleporting around the police and tying their shoelaces together and hiding their radios and they're crying— mgs: piss walker (@piss_wizard) April 17, 2013
AP now reporting that Manti Te'o's girlfriend has been arrested and is en route to the courthouse.— Brendan Loy (@brendanloy) April 17, 2013
CNN currently looking for a dark-skinned man to volunteer to be arrested in order to make their report correct.— Josh Barro (@jbarro) April 17, 2013
My sources are telling me the bomber definitely has skin.— J.M. Berger (@intelwire) April 17, 2013
CNN is doing a good job of breaking news today, it seems. It's definitely broken, CNN's news.— Xeni Jardin (@xeni) April 17, 2013
@JonahNRO I think we need James Earl Jones MP3 saying, "You have failed me for the last time, CNN."— Ed Morrissey (@EdMorrissey) April 17, 2013
If you're CNN just bust out the hologram goats again. No one will forgive you, but enough will get distracted and forget— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) April 17, 2013
literally more embarrassed watching CNN right now than any episode of curb your enthusiasm, ever— max read (@max_read) April 17, 2013
THE ARISTOCRATS!— Brian Beutler (@brianbeutler) April 17, 2013
CNN: Secret Service reports Obama received rice in the mail.— Andisheh Nouraee (@andishehnouraee) April 17, 2013
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at email@example.com.More Prachi Gupta.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.