2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Buried in one line of an Ohio Valley Herald Star report on local business is the news that Steubenville High School football coach Reno Saccocia was approved for a two-year administrative contract by the Steubenville school board over the weekend.
As the Herald Star reports (emphasis mine):
Two-year administrative contracts for Charles Kokiko, administrator; Bryan Mills, assistant middle school principal; Reno Saccoccia, director of administrative services; Joseph Yanok, middle school principal; Melinda Young, director of programs; and Sara Elliot, school psychologist.
For those who don’t remember Soccocia, he is the football coach who, according to text messages and witness testimony at the Steubenville rape trial, knew about the rape of a 16-year-old girl by two of his players but didn’t report the crime to school administrators or law enforcement officials, as he is obligated to do under Ohio law.
The day after Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond raped an unconscious teenage girl, Mays texted a friend: “I got Reno. He took care of it and shit ain’t gonna happen, even if they did take it to court. Like he was joking about it so I’m not worried,” according to an agent with the Ohio Bureau of Criminal Investigation who testified in the case. In addition to the text message, Soccocia was criticized for failing to discipline players involved in circulating the photos of the unconscious victim until eight games into a 10-game season.
While clearly not a pressing concern to the Steubenville school board, Soccocia’s involvement in the rape coverup may be investigated by a grand jury as early as next week.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.