2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Well, it’s official: Ben Affleck is the new Batman. Warner Bros. has announced that Affleck will star in Zack Snyder’s as-of-yet untitled “Man of Steel” sequel, which places Affleck alongside another iconic American superhero — Superman.
The casting of the “Argo” actor-director, who is also known for bombing in movies like “Gigli” and “Daredevil,” is deeply troubling for Batman fans. Seventy-seven percent of Variety readers in this poll say Affleck was not the right choice for the role, previously played by Christian Bale, George Clooney and Michael Keaton. There’s already a Change.org petition and a White House petition seeking to oust Affleck from the role.
From the White House petition:
Batman is not pleased:
Ben Affleck officially cast as Batman in the Man of Steel sequel. For the first time in history, I kind of want Superman to win.— The Batman (@TheBatman) August 23, 2013
Neither is Academy Award-winning actor Richard Dreyfuss:
You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck.— Richard Dreyfuss (@RichardDreyfuss) August 23, 2013
Or most of Twitter, for that matter:
And Batman's like "Superman, you have x-ray vision and can fly, you're gonna make it out of here, out of Southie."— Malcolm Harris (@BigMeanInternet) August 23, 2013
Every day I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go out. And now I am Batman so fuck you Will Hunting— samir mezrahi (@samir) August 23, 2013
Look, "Tootsie" is starting on Encore right now. Can we all just take a deep breath and agree that OH MY GOD IT'S BEN AFFLECK AS TOOTSIE— Bill Barol (@billbarol) August 23, 2013
In 2015 Ben Affleck will get snubbed for best actor, then Superman/Batman will win best picture.— Steven Zeitchik (@ZeitchikLAT) August 23, 2013
*Batman voice* *Argo beard*— Matt Pearce (@mattdpearce) August 23, 2013
In the new Ben Affleck version, the Batmobile is just a beige Prius— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) August 23, 2013
Spend ten years working your way back into everyone's good graces. Win an Oscar. Then you get cast as Batman, and BAM! You're Gigli again.— Tim Carvell (@timcarvell) August 23, 2013
Although it would be sort of amazing if his BFF Matt Damon were cast in the film:
“Man of Steel 2″ is due out July 17, 2015.
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.More Prachi Gupta.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.